The Invisible Woman Chronicles

 There's a lot I can say about yesterday.  I'm too tired to go into the details or provide an explanation. I'm tired of women wanting to take each other down and then playing the innocent victims when someone stands up to them. I'll never trust another person in my group about anything personal because it's blown up in my face and used against me. If people don't think I can see what they're up to when they're typing messages during a meeting and I can see someone else's reaction, they're out of their flipping mind.  Yeah.  Diva and Regina.   I did say something about people needing to speak to each other and call. There's too much hiding behind screens.   I'm tired of the keyboard bullies.  

 No, I would never do that.  Just a feeling.  A feeling that keeps me warm and fuzzy and pissed off.  Sigh. I thought my day was going along too well and then the diva struck with her question.  About a year ago, we stopped doing these corrections for each other because it was causing resentment towards each other.  Now the diva is playing dumb and wants to know if we can do them again.  We'll be having a conversation.  I kind of suspect maybe it's me she's targeting but we have had others helping.  She just can't help herself and if that does happen, well, I got one waiting for her that I already caught.   Other than that, things were better than I expected.  We had a couple of days last week where there were presentations going on, so I had hoped that maybe that made things less chaotic. Worried about my mom. I asked her if I was annoying her because she seemed irritated when I brought in Honey Bear.  Actually her face l...

I'm sure it'll suck when I open my emails.  I'm sure the diva will have some passive aggressive comment in the group chat.  I'll be ok.  I'll just be annoyed until 2 in the afternoon.  It'll pass. I didn't have a great night sleeping. We've had the windows open and Saturday, I woke up with that horrible headache.  Same thing last night.  I hated to do it to Honey Bear but I shut the windows and turned the central air until morning.  Did the headache go away? Yeah.  I shut the air down when I woke up and opened a couple of windows.  She could still look out of them. She just couldn't get stand in them.  There's really not enough room for her to sit with the new windows they chose. I think Jeremy is still gone.  I thought maybe Charlie would be home today and get him from the airport.  He mentioned something about Jeremy staying six weeks some time ago to my brother inlaw when he was here.  Maybe that's what he meant about t...

 I've heard this phrase many times and I would love it if someone actually meant it.  If you need to talk, I'm here for you as a friend. Have I taken people up on this comment from time to time?  Yes.  It's really a throw away statement.  It's either no response or gee, I don't know what to say. I would love it if someone said hey, let's talk sometime.  I'll text you when it's a good time and we'll meet up. I would give my number if someone said that.  I would like it if maybe later that night, I got a message that said, Am I free Saturday morning to get some coffee?  I wouldn't play games and wait an hour.  I would yes.  I will be there. It would be lovely if that person showed up that Saturday morning and we just talked.  We just listened. So when I hear the phrase, I'm here for you as a friend?  I'm thinking, Are you really?  I'm kind of not sure if I believe it. That's where I'm at right now.  

Almost every weekend, I feel like someone purposely sets my mental health on fire by sending me incessant pictures of what's going on in their life, how much fun they're having. I took a lot of people off of Facebook because I couldn't take the constant pictures of people's vacations.  I really got to say this  - it's ok to go on vacation.  It's ok to have money!  Live your best life!  When you constantly put it all over the internet you look like a braggy ass.  I don't mind seeing these pictures.  If this is your third vacation?  STOP!  I have no interest in some of this stuff that I'm getting sent.  I would rather have a conversation exchange than to see someone on a water ride. I don't get people.

I just had a bad night of sleep.  I've been up since about 5:30.  I mean, I get up at 6 or shortly after.  I was up a few times in the middle of the night.  Honey Bear was thrilled.  She got to prance around on my bed and twirl like a maniac.  Glad she's feeling comfortable to spend time in my room.  Wish she'd sit her hyper butt down and go to sleep. I thought I'd try this new website or app that sells clothes easily. It's called Vinted.  It should be called Scammed.  I was kind of surprised when one of my fleece hoodies sold right away.  I had to fill out some additional information and it suspended my account.  For what?  I looked online and Reddit forums talked about how the same thing and they had to go through legal.  No.  I'm not doing that.  Bye bye Vinted.  I'll go back to the dumpster fire that I lovingly know as eBay.   I looked to see if there were any shoes I could sell and I just don'...

I got the blues and it's not because my staycation is almost over.  I just feel blue. Kind of started when I drove back from Bay View yesterday.  My mom had asked if my friend Josh knew of any rentals near him.  I said no and if I did, it would be out of our price range.  I miss the area, but I think the "cool crowd" ruined it for me.  I'm not sure when the trend started.  Maybe the early aughts on when businesses started moving in on KK Avenue.  We joked about KK Avenue when we went to college being rough and now it was the happening place for cool people.  The guys went to a workout place somewhere on KK.  New businesses were a great thing for the community but then it seemed like it became a trendy hipster thing.  That part of Milwaukee is pretty much working class.  Cassie's daughter was all excited about getting a room for $800 a month because the apartment was on KK Avenue.  No shock when I heard her complain she was movi...

This time it's because I actually sold something on eBay.  My big $4 sale.  Whatever.  One less thing I have to deal with and I'm ok with that.  I will get another sheet of the postcard stamps this morning.  I'll get my walking in. I got greeted by a visitor early this morning.  Honey Bear jumped into bed with me and flopped down beside me.  She's trusting me and I'm so happy for every little step she takes.  She got up after 20 minutes after I rubbed her belly and she took off.  Such a silly kitty.  I'm so glad we got her.  I still miss my tiny tiger.  It's ok.  Adopting another cat that needs a home helps everyone with the healing.  I think she's a Blue Russian cat.  I kind of wonder if she got dumped off because they said she had been exposed to another cat with feline leukemia but she tested ok.  They kept her in quarantine for 15 days and she had only been at the shelter for 18 days.  I thought no ...

 Yeah.  I dread my emails but it is what it is.  Glad to have a week off even though I didn't travel.  Didn't drive as much either thanks to high gas prices.  And why is that?  I spent the morning walking in Bay View.  I got a nice view of the city this morning from a different angle.  Don't feel too bad for me.  I'll be back to my usual walking spot tomorrow morning and probably Sunday.  Just saying my miles and making them stretch a little today.  Mom has a doctor appointment this afternoon so I figured I'd be on the go more later. Weird thing happened with her getting the covid and flu vaccines on Wednesday.  Walmart denied her.  They said Medicaid didn't cover it.  She's not on Medicaid.  We tried that this spring and she withdrew it because of her insurance policies and she wanted to keep Senior Care.  I thought am I going to spend my time on the phone trying to make sense out of nonsense?  I'm ok ...

I got my covid and flu shot this morning at Walgreen.  I hadn't thought about the flu shot.  I thought I was getting it earlier this month with a reminder call from Walmart but well, that didn't happen.  I said yeah, that's fine.  Pharmacist did not find me amusing when I joked about having a microchip in my brain.  Oh well.  My humor isn't for everyone.  He wished me a nice day.  I noticed I wasn't the only one with the same plan.  That's a little reassuring. I happened to park in Walmart's parking lot before I got there.  I was a little early so I thought I'd walk around and look at Halloween stuff or just get some steps in. I wanted to make one appointment this week and I thought I'd do it then.  I was looking to see if I had my insurance card in case I got asked and then I see someone by my car.  They're looking for money.  I shook my head and said not today. I got my seat belt on and drove off.  This is a nice Wa...

I did not start off my staycation well yesterday.  I wasn't going to go out to the east side in the rain when they warn of flash floods.  I stayed put until about 10:30 and went to the West Milwaukee post office and actually found postcard stamps.  Go figure. I had a light come on.  Every damn year when the temps dip, the air pressure dips.  I googled where I could get air put in. I wasn't going to drive to Glendale for that with gas so high.  I went to Goodyear on Highway 100 and they were packed.  I found a place farther up the road but I didn't know if they were even open or how to get in.  It looked like it was closed.   I pulled over in a restaurant parking lot in Hales Corners and googled some more.  I saw that Midas on South 76th Street would do it. I was on Edgerton and I thought I could take it all the way over to South 76th Street.  No, I was wrong.  So wrong.  I was lost in Hales Corners for a minute and it...

We are at the Humane Society a lot earlier than we normally would have shown up.  It generally takes us about a week or so to say Let's get a cat.  We're lonely.  We're sad.  The place has been cleaned up from memories of our beloved feline.  I remember when we got Precious.  We had to take Roxy in like mid August and we thought maybe when I was off in late September we'd go to a Humane Society or two or three . We wound up getting Roxy from Ozaukee years ago because Milwaukee didn't have a lot of female cats available.  I don't know how the hell I found my way home that day.  We were at the Milwaukee Humane Society that following weekend looking for another friend and we found Precious.  I didn't know about the name until she head butted me and flopped down by my leg. I thought, I get it.  She is Precious.   What happened with Precious was so devastating and horrible, especially for my mom.  I couldn't take her sobbing th...

I'm still mad about the rain tomorrow.  I know I have all week but I had my exciting plans of going to the post office and getting more postcard stamps.  I still might do it depending on how bad it is, just to get out of the house.  You suck Mother Nature. My mom is feeling discouraged by the news yesterday.  The interest rates being raised upset her and she was hoping she could have a little extra money after her annual raise.  I think I'll be cancelling my MSNow subscription.  They suck and were very misleading about their streaming service.  I also know that they are working on it and I don't have the heart to tell my mom that somehow the DOJ is involved with Roku getting licensing.  Sigh. The guys are in Thailand.  I don't even want to admit how I know.  I don't like looking at a social media page but I wonder when someone isn't here for a few days, like where did you go?  Are you coming back?  I'm fine with them being gone...

My mom is not doing ok tonight.  Too much news and I get it.  It's been maddening watching the news about that stupid fight over the Kennedy Center.   She shouldn't have to worry about this.   I resent people that voted for this.  How's it working for all of you?  Not so great over here. I'm tired.  

 Not really thrilled it's supposed to rain all day on Saturday. I shouldn't care since I have the following week off but I'd like to start the time off with better weather.  Maybe it 70 percent and I won't feel so bad.  Damn it.   I kind of figure the diva will try to take over when I'm off.  No, I don't care.  Annoyed but I figure she'll irritate someone because she is just rude.  If she does something for you, she does expect you to give her a gold star or throw a party.  Such an attention seeker.  I'll be glad to get a break from that nonsense.   I'll be working on my voter letters and postcards.  I'm hoping I can get a lot done that week.  I think it'll be a blue wave and I think there will be a lot of surprises.  I think the evil orange man will throw chaos and that's the part that worries me. I like Dr. El Sayed and how he stays on message and doesn't get distracted by the noise. I love his messaging. ...

I feel a little sore around my neck and I know where that comes from.  I was hit from behind in October 2017.  First time I've been in an accident. I was headed to work and I was sitting at a red light.  All of a sudden, I felt this loud slam behind me and my head almost hit the dashboard.  I was in shock and looked behind.  I pulled over when the light turned red. The guy that got out of the car was apologetic.  I yelled, What's wrong with you?  He was trying to be nice and say I'm so sorry.  This happened to my wife.  I didn't mean to do it.  He said lady, please don't call the cops. I should have.  Honestly, I didn't know what to do in the situation. I was stunned.  I asked for information and he offered to follow me to a medical clinic.  I said I'm going down the street to get checked out. I really was too shocked to be rude or nice.  I was just indifferent.  It wasn't ok.  He gave me his name and phone ...

Last night, I went to bed early.  I didn't go to sleep.  I wanted to just check out of life for the evening.  I was tired.  I embraced the depression. It just built up over the day.  I think it started when I got gas. I thought maybe I could find a station on Gas Buddy but the cheapest was 3.89.  I just couldn't bring myself to fill it up completely. I thought where do I go?  Nowhere. We were at the store waiting for someone to wait on us at the deli when I let my mom know that I was behind her and she snapped at me.  I apologized.  I knew she didn't sleep much. I said I just wanted her to know I was on her side because of her vision issues.  I got flustered when I used the do it yourself check out. I felt like I couldn't get the bags open and the cashier helped me.  My mom asked why I was red in the face and I said I don't know.  I wear my emotions on my sleeve I guess. I was missing Precious last night. I thought how sad am I...

There's nothing wrong with sharing your accomplishments.  It's how you share it that can make a person sound like an ass. Case in point - the diva's friend.  We'll call her The Big Bragger.  When she helped us when the lurker was out, the diva shared that they were working on a project together and she's so fascinating.  That makes me raise an eyebrow right there.  I kind of figured the Bragger would help the diva more than me and I wasn't wrong.  Helped everyone else except for me.  The diva shared how the bragger was a daredevil who jumped out of airplanes.  In our meetings, the bragger shared that she knew a famous person's family who was on SNL.  That's not a good brag considering the person in the question was a big drug addict who died of an overdose.  I digress. The bragger was off a couple of days this week and then she announces she's quitting.  She has her dream job with the state and it's her family legacy.  We all s...

I don't know what to title this.  It seems like I should have a day of silence myself.  I know where I was on 9/11.  Now that we can use air play to watch MS Now, I heard the name of the company I worked for back then.  We still have downtown office but we had an office in the twin towers.  It was surreal and a nightmare watching a building where our New York colleagues worked collapse on TV.   There's divas and friends of divas I feel like talking about today but it doesn't seem right.   I see who's leading our country and I just feel sad about the lying, especially being pulled from the rubble lie.  And people believe it. I hope our country turns a page soon because this is just hard.  

I was kind of upset about the neighbor ignoring me next door. He doesn't live next door.  He lives with his girlfriend a block over but he keeps the house just so he can get away.  Well isn't he a catch?  I was upset because I saw him like kitty corner from the street I was crossing.  He saw me and turned around.  He pretended he didn't see me.  I thought what's wrong with him?  What did I do? I've said hello to him in passing and he has just ignored me. A couple of days ago, I came out to the alley to start my walk and I saw him pushing a bike.  I thought I don't want to deal with this so I turned around and walked around to the front of the house.  Who do I see?  Grumpy neighbor pushing the bike.  I did what he did to me weeks ago and I turned my back, looking for my airpods. I thought what a jerk.  Now I know he's giving me the cold shoulder. I suspect our neighbor across the alley said something to him about us.  I'm n...

Now that summer is coming to an end, it's time to think about making appointments, or when to make them.  One is easy and what makes it easy is that this doctor is probably booked about 3 or 4 months out and I'm ok with that.  Nice doctor.  I just seem to say stupid stuff to him. Looks like I might have to find a dentist in the near future. I was hoping my old dentist would be off of medical leave by now but he's not.  I called to change my appointment for my October and I asked about him.  They said he's probably retiring so I just asked if my appointment could get changed for early October with his partner who I have been seeing for the last year. I know both of them are about in their late 70s and I know his partner is taking his patients as well so it's a lot.  How long is he going to want to keep up with that?  I figured I'll stay for now and be prepared for the find a new dentist conversation that will be coming my way.   It's depressin...

I didn't smile today at the post office.  Kind of felt annoyed by the young woman behind me bitching and talking to herself about how slow things were. I didn't care that I had to wait for awhile. I was annoyed that she wouldn't shut up. I had told my mom today that if I had a chance to retire, I'd do it in a heartbeat.  I like working.  I don't mind what I do.  I'm tired of the games that people have played over the years.  I have just had enough lately. The diva and her new best friend, the bragger are working on a project together and it was presented to all of us and it was discussed that they would be reaching out to others for their input.  I knew what that meant.  My invite would get lost in the mail. I am maybe speaking too soon on the bragger.  As soon as the bragger entered our lives, I was a little suspect because of her connection to the diva and their project.  The diva was impressed with the bragger.  She is a dare devil an...

I look over at the trunk next to my desk during the day and I have those moments where it just hurts.  I don't cry. I just feel heartbroken about her.  It's getting better.  There have been some things happening that have helped with me trying to heal lately.   Meanwhile, in my day to day world, the diva is on my nerves this week.  When I had to leave that Friday, there wasn't a lot of us in our group online and when asked about who can be in charge for rushes, the diva piped in right away.  Kind of relieved at the time and I figured she was pissed off about me not being in the next day so she could boss me around. I mentioned to someone that there are individuals who will say they will help and they won't.  I hope they're observing who it is.  Yesterday, someone else needed help and she was first to offer.  The other day I was asked along with Regina about something we both had a lot of and the diva was quick to offer her help for Regin...