Call Her Honey Bear

We are at the Humane Society a lot earlier than we normally would have shown up.  It generally takes us about a week or so to say Let's get a cat.  We're lonely.  We're sad.  The place has been cleaned up from memories of our beloved feline.  I remember when we got Precious.  We had to take Roxy in like mid August and we thought maybe when I was off in late September we'd go to a Humane Society or two or three . We wound up getting Roxy from Ozaukee years ago because Milwaukee didn't have a lot of female cats available.  I don't know how the hell I found my way home that day.  We were at the Milwaukee Humane Society that following weekend looking for another friend and we found Precious.  I didn't know about the name until she head butted me and flopped down by my leg. I thought, I get it.  She is Precious.  

What happened with Precious was so devastating and horrible, especially for my mom.  I couldn't take her sobbing that Friday night. She begged me and asked if we could get another cat that weekend.  She didn't need to beg.  It was already on my mind.  I felt guilty for thinking it.  I felt like it was a betrayal of the cat that got me through my cancer ordeal.  I was so sad and heart broken.  I just wanted the pain to go away.

So we were actually at Pet Smart in Brookfield the next night.  We were going to take home a cat named Cookie.  She was maybe not 2 years old and she fit what we were looking for.  I got the cat carrier ready and we drove there.  We saw a family with a couple of little girls and a boy looking at the cats.  I already knew where this was going.  I asked the girls, are you getting Cookie?  They said yes.  I watched them as the clerk got the little tiger striped cat out and into a carrier for the excited family.  I congratulated them.

When they left and the associate asked if we needed help, I started crying and said I was hoping we could get Cookie.  I showed her a picture of Precious and she said that's the exact same cat.  I think that's what broke me at that moment.  I was chasing after what I was missing.  After I thanked the girl, we left and went home.  We were planning on going to the Humane Society the next day since they had a special event going on.  I knew I needed a cat too.  I wasn't replacing Precious. I needed a Band Aid.

The next morning, we got there early and were the second people in line as we waited for the doors to open.  There was a nice young couple in front of us who were looking to adopt a cat as well.  We had our picks and we thought if things didn't work out, I'd drive to Kenosha the next day and we'd look at their cats.  It was actually kind of nice to be around kind people who were excited to adopt a cat or a dog.  

As we waited our turn, we walked around the area where they had cats.  I was amused to see one that would jump at the window so I would see him.  Then he would jump up on his perch and throw himself at the window so he made damn sure I saw him.  His name was Fooley.  What a fitting name.  My mom was talking to another gentleman who was interested in cats as well.  It was a nice hang for the morning.

When the volunteer told us about our selections, we decided on Raisin. She's about 4 years old, grey cat.  She actually looks like a Russian Blue, but we're not sure.  We asked to see her and she was actually in the same condo that Precious was when we were there 13 years earlier.  I realized that as we waited for her to get her and have her meet her in a separate room.

She seemed shy but so sweet.  I told her I'd like her to come home with me.  She let me pet her and seemed to take to me ok.  We were set.  We thought she was beautiful and we wanted her.  

When we left, we saw the other couple who had adopted two kittens.  We noticed the guy who was talking to my mom was filling out paperwork for his cat.  It was such a happy moment.

Raisin was really good on the ride home.  She didn't meow too much which would have been understandable.  

When I got her out of the carrier, I hugged her and thanked her for being here.  She stayed on the couch and let me pet her for most of the day.  We were told she had picky eating habits.  What cat doesn't?  I brought her to my mom's bed while my mom talked to my cousin for the evening.  My mom's bed is now her bed.  

She did hide out for part of the day the next day but came around at some point.  She started eating more regular and now she'll go after what I'm eating.  She's quite the hearty eater now.  

I did try to get to her a vet to do the check up they recommended.  That was an epic fail both times.  The first time she hid and the second time she tore up the right side of my arm and even my neck.  We almost had her and she basically clawed her way out of my arms and ran.  I sat on the couch and sobbed when it happened. I was full of blood. I didn't blame her.  I understood her fear.  She just gets her and then she sees that carrier come out and thinks she's going back.  Hell no.  I recovered and so did she.  

I had a moment last week where I got upset after she hid under the bed when I tried to pick her up.  This cat is new and I can't expect her to magically accept me picking her up or snuggling her like I did with Precious.  She is still new here and is unsure of things at times. I just felt like a failure when that happened.

I left her alone the next day. I let her come to me.  I watched enough Cat from Hell shows and lived with them long enough to know things have to be done on their terms.  It's been better since I did that. I have picked up a few times this week and gave her a quick hug.  She's becoming more comfortable and knows she's staying with us.

We couldn't really stick with the name Raisin.  She has a sweet face and looks like a bear in some ways.  We changed her name to Honey Bear.  I don't know her history but I kind of wonder if she got dumped off by another family considering how she's acted at times, especially with the vet.  She will go to the vet next spring and she'll go to the one that treated Precious so humanely.  I'll work on getting her a different carrier and maybe a haz mat suit for me might work.  Lucky I didn't have any doctor appointments going on at that time.

Honey Bear would wait under the table in the morning and wait for me to get up. She would greet me and let me pet her. I told her she could come into my room any time and she has.  Yesterday, she jumped on my bed to get me up because she wanted to eat and wanted me up asap.  As I type this, she's sitting in a recliner behind me, watching me.  Each day gets a little better.

I am still grieving for Precious. I probably will for awhile but having Honey Bear helps with the healing.

Honey Bear is not a replacement for Precious.  Nobody will replace my tiny tiger.  Honey Bear is making her own mark and being the Band Aid that I needed.

I love Honey Bear.  I'm so glad she's here.