Posts

Memories of a Former Life

I'm so bothered by what happened by my appointment the other day.  It was like I was in 8th grade and being mocked for my looks.  This was more smaller microaggressions. Normally the student takes my jacket and hangs it up somewhere.  She was adamant that I could hang it up on her hook that made my jacket sit on the floor pretty much.  It was ok but I noticed others had their coats hung up.  This was a salon life appointment. I didn't realize it but normally I get some type of relaxation treatment like a shoulder massage or more time with massage my hair when I get it washed.  I didn't get any of that. Even though the comments to her instructor weren't what I thought they were, it was clear that she found my hair problematic.  I just kind of checked out mentally and emotionally when she finished up.  I felt like I was a freak she had to deal with.  Her instructor complimented me on my color coming in.  When the student asked if I wanted ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Feeling the Anxiety pangs

I feel like I'm forgetting something and I feel like something is going to blow up on me soon.  It's been so much to remember and I think I'm sucking at it.  Oh, I feel I'm sucking at it.  I know I'm sucking at it.  Ugh.  So much for the positive pep talk, eh? Well the volume of work is getting to me and really not knowing what's happening with the lurker is a little frustrating.  Will they make their grand return much to our annoyance or has something changed?  I say it's fine when I don't see them lurking but one way or another, I'd really like to know something. I don't need to know the reasons why.  I just need to know if this person is coming or going.  I don't think we get help everyday either so I'm not sure if I got to do clean up in several aisles this morning. My mom is unsure about going to the food pantry this morning because of lent.  She was going to walk and I would pick her up.  She likes getting her free bag and fre...
Post a Comment
Read more

I Feel Stupid

It was a recurring theme of the day.  When I signed in, I felt stupid.  I read an email from someone that just made me feel stupid.  It wasn't their fault. I didn't realize I had done something where I was making work for myself. I didn't realize the answer was in plain sight. I have no idea how to respond.  I don't know if I want to respond.  I just feel stupid. It kind of seems like the last time I did ask or put down feedback regarding something this person works on, I got kind of a disparaging email.  We were all told to do it.  I just deleted the email and I thought if this feedback gets asked again, I'm ignoring it.  It made me feel like I was asking for the moon. I was making some minor suggestions where the lurker put down about 3 or 4 pages of issues.  There's someone that I can maybe talk to about it who will understand.  I just feel stupid and I don't know how to respond. Today, I was gathering up some of my postcards to mail ...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Have Way Too Muchs

No lurkers today and that's a good thing.  I don't even want to ask.  I am kind of annoyed we're sort of in the dark about the situation.  I'll take her not being around as a good thing. I wanted to look at how much time I had as of today and I looked at the calendars for the upcoming months to see who had off.  Sigh. I hate that.  I see Regina already marked a week in July I might need some days for.  I'm not sure if I'm going to get to see Charlotte and my niece this summer and that would be around the time.  It's not to say I can't have time off but how much and who else will mark that time worries me. Then the diva.  Holy shit does she has the time marked off.  It's like from May 22nd to June 4th.  Bye Felicia.  We were all quiet when she announced that she was going to Italy within the first couple of weeks of her starting and announced this was a trip of a lifetime.  Nobody said a word.  We said ok.  Have fun....
Post a Comment
Read more

What Will be Lurking on Monday

It would be no shocker if it was the lurker with her 135 lives.  Ugh.  It would also be nice not to see the light on by their profile picture.  I would be ok with that. I found my bill from North Shore Pathologists.  This afternoon I'll take a look and see if the claim got submitted and if I need to make two phone calls instead of one.  If I remember today?  This has to be the one thing. I'm almost finished with Song Song Blue.  What a great movie.  I'm not saying that because it's set in Milwaukee but it does have an extra appeal for me. I had wondered where Mike Sardina lived in the movie because of the airplanes. I thought maybe it was in my old neighborhood like closer to Mitchell Field but turned out to be South Milwaukee.  I'm a nerd.  Had to google it. I know Corinne would like to go see her cousins in Canada and is kind of nervous about asking her husband.  I get his apprehension with everything in the news.  I hope the...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Flower Blues

I don't miss being in the office around Valentine's Day because there would be the typical bouquet of flowers that would come in for my co-workers.  They weren't modest about it.  They were quite arrogant about it. There was a sadness I'd feel when I see someone getting a bouquet like that even when I had someone in my life.  I didn't want the flowers.  I wanted to be seen.  I wanted to feel special.  It was an opportunity for others to look down on me like Oh, maybe someday someone will see you're special.  Sigh.  Buzz off.   I was feeling bad that I had salty feelings towards the diva.  She was so kind of friendly when I signed in and I thought she just wants to make a name.  Well she shouldn't do it by stepping on my back.   I did take a look at her infamous Tik Tok account today and what do you know?  It was all about her man doing stuff for her on Valentine's Day and posting flowers for all of her followers....
Post a Comment
Read more

That Familiar Feeling

I think my mood went south when my mom asked if we could stop at Dollar Tree on the way home from Cermaks yesterday.  I wasn't mad that she asked. I thought ok, no problem.   It was the parking lot that did it.  I get it.  December and January sucked weather wise.  First weekend in awhile, I think?  that it was super nice to be outdoors and I just felt like I had to play dodge ball with the cars. I dropped her off in front of the store and tried to find a parking spot that wasn't in a different county. That wasn't all.  My mom was looking at rentals out of curiosity last night when we watched TV.  That is a reality that I may have to deal with at the end of this year.  I am hoping that the guys don't go higher than $100 because the rent situation is insane and I'm worried. I feel like I'm going to be wandering on the street like the woman I saw yesterday yelling at people Can you help me?  I felt bad I ignored her but I thought, lad...
Post a Comment
Read more