The Invisible Woman Chronicles

It was productive.  It was hot.  OMG is it hot out there.  I was on a quest after work to find ice cream bars for my mom and I didn't realize it was 97 degrees. I thought oh, I can maybe walk after work to the store.  Hold my ice cream while it melts. I figured I should drive since yeah.  It would melt if I dare walk.  Last night didn't feel so bad when I did it.  It's six blocks and there was a wind blowing.  Definitely feeling the heat tonight.  Go over to Mar A Lardo please and leave us alone. The stupid part?  Well if you think it involves the diva, you would be right!  I think of how nice it is that I don't have to listen to people's dumb conversations standing by my desk all the time. I don't want to know your wife has IBS. I think I know what may be causing it though!  There was one conversation with some of the woman talking about their sons whipping it out in the snow to pee in winter.  I drew the line at that and...

I hate to say where I found a stray black hair this morning.  It was on my neck.  I get them from time to time and it just grosses me out.  I know it's a whole hormonal thing but damn.  I've had this weird hair thing since I was a kid.  I swear I'm a ninja warrior when it comes to plucking the stray hair or stray hairs when I come across one.   I've been told I have such great eyebrows.  Well I was eyebrow shamed as a kid.  Yeah, a family member and a few bullies helped with that.  I had the thick black eyebrows that could grow together if they tried so I went for my first eyebrow wax at 14 and tried my hardest to keep up with plucking but that was the impossible dream.  Eventually I'd make an appointment once a month in my 20s to start getting them waxed and tweezed.  People wonder why I have a good pain tolerance?  That's why.  Sigh.  I plucked my eyebrows so badly for my sophomore picture that they look like p...

 I'll have actually three weeks where I only work 3 days. I can do that.  Dread seeing my emails today but hey, got a three day work week! Note to self.  If I have an issue with my weight not budging, I'm keeping it to myself.  No offense to my mom, I understand her intention.  I'm not ok with her discussing it with my cousin. I felt guilty for feeling angry when I listened to her talk.  I didn't say a word when she told what my cousin had suggested that I should do and explained that sugar is a carbohydrate.  Noooooo, you don't say?  I am not sitting her with a big cake eating it all day.  I just can't with people and their suggestions.  I thought I should show my cousin grace for the health troubles she's had but she has had a tendency to be a know it all and that we should all do what she says.  Glad my cousin is doing better with her health but I don't need anyone commenting on how much I weigh.  Almost makes me think the g...

 I thought it was supposed to be cooler this summer.  This week will prove me wrong.  BOOO! My mom is talking to my cousin about my weight loss problems. I honestly want to scream when I hear that.  Not her fault.  That's her whole side of the family and their obsession with everyone's weight and dieting.  I don't want to hear it.  I'll scream.  My aunt still tried to give me dieting advice after I dropped 35 pounds years ago and I felt good about myself at the time.  Still wasn't good enough for them I guess. I had to open my mouth and admit I had a bad week.  It wasn't a bad thing but I seem to be at a plateau.  Days like this make me wish that Cassie would get diarrhea from her ozempic.  I know.  That's terrible.  When you spend the time drinking your water, trying to limit the bad stuff and get the healthier stuff plus the exercise, it just sucks.  It's like do I have to get another sinus infection for anothe...

I had a weird dream about my step dad the other night. He was with my mom and Charlotte.  He had grabbed Charlotte by the arm and sat her down. I was horrified he did that even though she was fine and coloring in her coloring book.  He was making my mom count out the money she made and when he stormed off, I said we can leave him.  She said he'll go away. Well.  He did.  I realized that when I woke up.  I wouldn't tell my mom or she'd go off on a three hour dialogue about the things he did.  Yes.  There was a lot of bad but it wasn't some horror show either.  He had zero patience and that can be unnerving when you're a kid. It has transferred over to adulthood.  I get beyond nervous like the world is going to end.  I hate that.  Today, I came in the alley a different way, thinking that Jeremy went to work on a Saturday.  He didn't.  Byron had his white van parked and my opening wasn't that great to get into my side of...

 I don't know if I would call this an impure thought.  It's a thought and I dislike when I drift off on those thoughts.   I had thought about my crush, Jerry the dry cleaner the other day.  I wished that Jerry didn't have a Mr. Jerry and I wished that I could spend time with him outside of his work environment. I get it.  Ethics, dry cleaner code.  I'm not talking about doing anything hot and heavy.  It's just this life I've had has been long and lonely and I have the feeling sometimes that he would be a really good friend.  A kind soul.   I can't always find another dry cleaner.  I don't come across too many good humans. Yeah.  I'm a slut pig for thinking that.  I'll go back to thinking about the mystery running man who ran past me two weekends in a row.  When he's coming back? Wishful thinking can really suck somedays.