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Happy Daylight Savings *()*^&)_!

It's a mixed feeling when this time comes.  Happy for the extra hour of light.  Not happy to change the clocks or lose an hour of sleep.  It is what it is. I went to bed early last night. I was not feeling so great.  Next week is a crucial week for me because it's that time of year that I get a test that I flunked once and yeah, we all know how that story turned out.  I know I took the test that determined if I would get cancer again and it came out in my favor.  Doesn't mean I don't worry.  I can feel the cysts.  I know they're there and I don't know if there will be more tests involved which sucks. I also think they're covered by my insurance now.  At least that's how I understand it.  I just don't want to have to get called for anymore tests after next week.  I just want to go back to just having the occasional skin irritation, or eye irritation or allergy situation. That's what life was like before this happened.  I know it...
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That's a Wrap

Take a deep breath.  The work week is done.  I felt a sense of annoyance when I signed off. No sign of the lurker.  I got a feeling we got another 2 weeks before we hear what's what on that subject.  Meanwhile the other members of the group?  Ugh.  I got asked to assist the Thinker the last few minutes of my day.  I did pick up a few things and I was aware of her situation because she kept putting it out there in our chat.  Someone flat out said I'm not comfortable with that.  I thought that's bold and really insulting.  Not surprised.  They wondered why I broke down in tears at the end of the year.  I thought the majority of you don't help me.  The majority of you stress me out because you don't help and I don't feel supported.  Most of you just let me down.  Every day.  It's ok if I help you or take on the challenges but I don't get the same energy back.  . Then there's the diva.  Wants to tell e...
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The Side Piece

When we were in the office, Frick and Frack were bitching about someone turning Matt Lauer in about the sexual abuse and harassment that they endured.  Frack kept saying why do women bring it up now?  I tried to talk reason to them but as usual, there's no excuse for women. Who really wants to talk about it?  I didn't.  I dealt with it and there's a few incidents that were just bad.  You question yourself after it happens.  You don't question the person who did it to you.  You blame yourself.  You basically put yourself in your own emotional prison.  I think it's great when a woman stands up for herself these days when they're harassed.  I find as I got older, I got tired of listening to someone berating me and I'd walk away.  Berating is one thing.  Sexual harassment is a whole different thing. It was my first job out of college.  It was at a law firm that kind of had a high turnover and we were the attorneys who represen...
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The Life I Sometimes Think About

There's a name that I came across yesterday that I think is a lovely name.  It's the name Grace.  There is something calming and sweet about that name. If I had had a daughter, I would have liked to have given her the name Grace.  See, if you say that out loud, you're made to feel pathetic or sad because you think you missed out on having children.  That just irritates me and just frustrates me.  I'm allowed to share something I had wished for long ago.  I'm allowed to admit my feelings period.  It doesn't mean I'm going to go adopt a baby or cat and call her Grace.  I'm allowed to have those thoughts and I'm so tired of people bashing me down for admitting anything like that regarding kids. Anyway, now that my rant is over.  Yeah, I would have liked to have had a little girl or boy.  I always liked the names Owen or Jason. They bound sound like such calming names just like Grace.   I didn't dream of a perfect life.  I dre...
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On the political front

 Texas.  How could you?  Well I'm not surprised.  I had hope for Jasmine Crockett. I thought maybe it was possible that we could elect a smart black woman to the senate. I hope James Talarico wins but Texas?  You kind of suck.   I do get joy out of John Cornyn to have to do a run off with that creep Ken Paxton. See?  I can find a little joy in the day.  
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The Blues

 I seem to have a case of the loneliness blues.  I have felt kind of meh and just blah the last day or so.  When I went on my walk, I wanted to cry but I didn't.  I'm just tired of being lonely. Yeah, I know there's people I can talk to or reach out to when I need to talk to someone.  I can even talk to work people.  Gasp!  I know.  Not the diva.  Forget that weirdo.  It's not the same as someone that lives nearby. My mom had wondered why I was sad when I found out that Cassie was moving a few years ago.  She asked Did she ever invite you to see her apartment?  I said no.  How many times did you see her a year?  Maybe once if I was lucky.  I guess that wasn't as deep as friendship as I thought.  I know I have a deeper friendship with Corinne even though she lives 4 hours away.  The whole Cassie thing was embarrassing and still embarrassing.  I feel like such an idiot.   I know.  Join...
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Monday Surprises

 I had a day off on Friday so let's see what surprises I have this morning.  I'd rather not.  Somehow I anticipate the diva doing something that will irritate me.  That relationship still stings.  Some would say it's an All About Eve kind of thing.  Well maybe.  I never was a star but she definitely wants to be one by stepping on others.   I am hoping my mom is doing better today. I hate it when she goes down misery lane but I know that's her struggles.  My grandmother was not a nice person.  My mom had told me as a kid that my grandmother was needling me to the point of tears where my step dad intervened and told her that was enough.  She wasn't a warm and fuzzy person.  I knew she thought little of me so that's why I didn't come around.  Why get insulted all the time?  I got tired of the passive aggressive comments growing up.  Blowing up at us as kids affected me.  It just really opened my eyes and d...
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