The Invisible Woman Chronicles

It's my hope that mom will be home today.  I am preparing myself in case that's, well, not the case.  She seemed to be doing a lot better.  I talked to her for an hour and a half last night before I went to bed.  I came over in the afternoon for an hour and a half to see how she was.  She was able to get up and get to the bathroom ok.  This morning she'll get a chest x-ray.  I'm not sure if it's morning but I think she hopes it's soon.  I do too.   I thought I was ok and when I sat with Precious on my mom's bed, I cried. I have spent a few holidays alone when she lived with my grandmother or when my parents would go up north to see my grandmother when she was alive.   I had nobody to talk to.  I had Corinne message me a bit.  I did what I could for the house.  She normally takes care of the dishes which I hate but I did it.  I took care of the laundry, made sure Precious was fed and snuggled.  I watched...

My mom is in the hospital with pneumonia.  The doctor that talked to us today said she was on the verge of starting it so it was good she came in.  He was going to end her fluids and see how she was doing.  He said if her chest x ray looked good then she could be released on Monday.     I'm not sure who the other woman was but she was taking some type of blood cultures and I guess she has a staph infection. I didn't catch all of it but she talked about possibly a home care worker giving her oxygen at home or going to assisted living if need be.   I know they have to say the worst but it's scary to hear the worst. It finally took me until now to start crying.  I can't stop crying.  I'm so sad. 

I should have went to urgent care Saturday morning.  Now my mom has a cold.  She swears it's from standing in line at the food pantry on Wednesday.  No.  It was me.  I've been hacking all week with my cough so sooner or later it would have affected her.  Maybe it wouldn't have made a difference if I went on Saturday or Tuesday.  It just sucks.  I do feel responsible. I hesitated on leaving for a hair cut. I thought am I going to start choking during the appointment? I was fine for the most part.  Just a couple of moments that I covered with the water I requested.  I swear I was on the verge of cancelling it when I had trouble with the parking meter.  I hate that they stopped doing weekend appointments.  It didn't bother me that I paid $2 for parking.  It pissed me off that I couldn't get my debit card in.  I realized the first meter was broke and I had to pull up to another one to do it.  It's not easy when it's ...

Kind of a quieter week with people being out due to spring break, the holiday, all that good stuff.  Nice to catch up on some things.  I don't miss the keeping up with the joneses moments I'd have to hear.  Oh boo hoo, I don't know if I have the right shoes for London.  Sigh.  I can relate. I thought I'm such a grouchy bitch when I think about those things.  You are an unhappy person I told myself.   Do I want to do the things that people do?  Not really. I don't know what it is. I think of Cassie telling someone that I'm an unhappy person after she got promoted.  That stung because I thought is she right?  Maybe.  I don't know.  I'm not a saint. I look at her life.  She traveled around the country to follow the Grateful Dead when she was in her 20s.  When she got married, she stayed home with her girls until they were in school for awhile and she got her paralegal certificate from MATC.  Then she got a job ...

I should have cancelled my appointment for today. I am doing much better but I have a feeling I'll have a sneak attack come up on me and I'll probably piss a student off.   My mom got the air purifier out last night and that seemed to help.  That and maybe drinking a little extra cough medicine. I had forgotten about it and started taking it last night and this morning.  It seems a lot looser and not as annoying.  I know how the pop up attacks can occur when you don't want it to and it sucks. I talked to someone yesterday and I was fine.  Then I talked to someone about an IT issue and I started with the hacking.  I am so hoping for cooler air at the school and lots of water to drink to help me out here. I'm on the mend, people.  I'm trying. Next time?  Just straight to urgent care.  I'm not the type to say Oh, I can tough it out.  No, I want the antibiotics damn it. I believe in medicine.  Yeah, I'm sick of the I'll do my resea...

Yeah, no such thing as a 24 hour sinus infection.  More like 24 days that feels like 24 months.  I saw someone yesterday to get on antibiotics.  I had them before.  Always seemed like they ran out too fast but if they can help ease me along for the next week, I'll take it. It was really quiet when I went into the clinic yesterday.  Guessing a lot of doctors are out on spring break so I wound up seeing a physician's assistant which is fine with me.  I don't stray from my doctors but if I need something like that, I got to go with whoever will take me. I probably should have went to the urgent care we have in the area on Saturday but I thought this might be a weird fluke and I'm on the mend.  Every time I kept thinking I was ok I'd have a coughing fit.  I definitely don't recommend this diet.  At least I'm not gaining weight.  Been living on fruit bars, pretty much. I usually regret it when I try something like a slice of cheese. I probabl...