The Invisible Woman Chronicles

 I have officially lost my side of the bed again.  First Precious and now Honey Bear.  Oh well.  Back to my old side.  I'm just glad she didn't try to use my head as a sparkly ball and swat at it in the middle of the night. I stepped on the scale yesterday.  I expected a jump up with company and it did.  It was small so small victory?  Not really.  It's still sad.  So sad.  Sigh.  I'll keep trying because I never want to be offered another 3x anything even if there's a disclaimer, but I don't think you're that size.  A cup of microaggression anyone?   I am relieved to be done with my postcards and writing for now.  It is what it is.  I hate that saying.  I got some things run to Goodwill yesterday and I will be back making future trips.  I so badly need to organize things.   I feel like people have forgotten me in life.  I know.  Where did that come from?  I just do....

I really don't have the Sunday scaries.  I mean, maybe I should.  I'm doing my best.  Last week it was said to me I have enough on my plate. I had previously felt like I was just a failure and falling down all the time.  It was said in a nice tone, but the implication was there. I do have off again the week after next.  Kind of nice.  Kind of the same plans - hair cut, eyebrow wax.  This time I'm the one with the medical appointment.  I'll take any suggestions on this weight loss nightmare.  Don't care if I have to eat cucumbers for the next six months.  I'm sick of this.  I hope I made the right decision.  I'm not going back to where I was back in April.  No and no.   The diva announced she too would be out the same week as me except I don't think anyone knew that information.  That sounds about right for the diva.  I was missing the Thinker in our last call.  The diva plans on working in my area ...

 I was going to make one last dash to the post office and get more postcard stamps.  I didn't yesterday.  I was just done Friday. I know, I know. I had 50 postcards and I didn't get to them.  Time has not been my friend the last few weeks when it's come to this. I had gotten postcards that had the postage on them this week to write for one organization and I got them done by Friday.  Late Thursday, I see another package.  They sent me another package of postcards.  It was another 200 for Arizona.  I didn't ask for them.  I just put them away. Does that sound terrible what I did?  Yeah.  It does.  With the election less than 2 weeks away, I just can't get them out in the mail by tomorrow.  I just can't.  I'm spent.  I'm done.  I tried and I just don't have anything left to give.  My hand felt cramped this week. I realized I had deleted an email I couldn't get back and just let it go.  I found mail I...

 So yeah, I got another fat girl shirt the other week.  I thanked the person and walked away with it to my room where I put it in my hamper for washing. I heard "It's a 3X!  Just because it's a 3X doesn't mean I think you're a 3X!"  Thanks.  And for the record.  No.  I'm not that size.  And there is nothing wrong with that size.  It just feels like you're fat so here's some clothes that don't fit me anymore because I don't weigh as much as you.  I had my back to her and nodded.  I took it like I usually do The next day I got asked if I tried it on and I said no.  I was going to wear the shirt for bed.  I wear a lot of knit pants and t-shirts for sleep and I thought the shirt would be good for that.  Pink is really not my color as it is so I thought it would be better for that.  I heard, I didn't wear it for sleeping. I wore it out.  Well you and I are different.  Please stop and don't do that again. Wil...

 I don't know if I can watch the mid terms in a couple of weeks.  It's so high stakes and I don't know if I can take my heart breaking in a million pieces like it did 2 years ago.  I am feeling hopeful just not that hopeful.  Dirty tricks worry me. I watched the debate with David Crowley last night. I wish I would have gone to that meet and greet in Bay View back in March when he was here.  My mind was kind of made up at that time and I passed.  We always go for the razzle dazzle with candidates. I really like that Crowley is a nerd and his life growing up was hard.  Maybe I don't agree with everything he's done but I know he'll watch out for the people and not pick our pockets.  Looking at you, Tom Tiffany.  What in the world was he babbling about when he talked about Zucker bucks?  Unreal. I still have a fair amount of post cards to get out. I have until Monday to get everything out but I'll have most of it done by Sunday at the latest...

 It only took me about a month to make this last appointment but I did it yesterday afternoon. I was ok that it's three months from now.   Why the hesitation?  The person I see is so handsome and sweet looking.  I hate that I say absolutely stupid stuff in front of this person.  They are always so kind to me.   No, there's no chance this person would ever have an interest in me and well they're already in their own situation so this is a No way in hell situation. Do I think they're awesome at what they do?  Yeah, I do.  I wouldn't want to go elsewhere. Have I ever had a thought about making out with this person in my head?  OMG Yes.  Yes.  And yes. I'll be fine.  I have to work on not saying anything stupid so I got three months to prepare. Why oh why did this person have to be so damn adorable?  Ugh.