The Invisible Woman Chronicles

Something happened yesterday that bothered me more than the rest of the usual shenanigans that I deal with on a daily basis.   The Thinker had asked me a question about something and when I explained what I would do, I received a Hmmm in response.  Then I saw the same question asked to the group.   I got that a lot when we were in the office.  People would ask a question and somehow the answer wasn't good enough.  Then they would find out then when they asked someone they deemed more knowledgeable, they would get the same answer I gave them.  That was hurtful yesterday.  That's something that I expect from the diva.  I didn't tell the Thinker this but I had nominated her for a dream week at our corporate offices.  I thought it would be a nice opportunity for someone young like her that would like to move up in the company.  I do think she's been nicer to me than others, but sometimes there are hurtful moments that have happened...

I know.  It shouldn't surprise me when women act the way that they do.  It just disappoints me.  It makes me think Michelle Obama is right.  We're not grown up to have a woman President.  We can't even support each other in the work place.  We have to compete.  We have to be mean to each other.  We just can't be nice. It gets tiresome after dealing with this for 34 years in the workforce.  I am just tired.  Checked out.  Call me an introvert.  Say that I'm in my shell, blah, blah.  It's all true and blame it on other women. When Frick had been so ugly towards me - yes, I know, which time?  It was when we got an attorney from Green Bay and it was alleged there was a phone call saying that there was favoritism towards me.  That was not favor getting assigned to that woman. I liked Janice but that woman buried me with work.  Frick was uglier than usual towards me as well as other team members at the time. I thi...

Today wasn't good.  I felt the black cloud over my head and it's lingering.  There has been some switching of assignments and the area I used to deal with is now getting passed over to Regina.  Lucky for the Thinker, she's the one that's getting to spend the quality time. I was a little surprised when Regina needed help.  I was a little curious when there wasn't a response. I didn't have the time and I sometimes wonder if she would want my help with the way she acts at times. Little by little people responded that they had other things to do or that they would try to find the time. Does that hurt my feelings that I didn't get the same response?  Yeah.  It did.  It's like a great reminder that I'm invisible.  I'm asking the universe to send me a sign that someone sees me.  No, I wouldn't expect my group to see me.  If they do it's for something bad.  I want to be seen for a good reason and appreciated. Send me a sign universe. ...

 I was hoping for a moment that maybe it wouldn't happen but it did.  The lurker has returned.  On a limited basis.  I don't want to know why. I don't care why.  I'm just tired of the lurker and the phoniness that ensued when they returned yesterday.   And yet I'm perceived as the too sensitive one because of how I've been treated by the lurker and others.  So it's ok to repeatedly get slapped by others and not let it have it affect you?  I am so tired of that narrative.  I know I've been caught twice being tearful but being human is not a crime.  Being a bully is something that should be taken care of and I'm so tired of the loopholes and the little catches on not addressing that issue.  I think that's where the weakness lies.  Not with me.  I'm the one that has to deal with it.  Others choose to ignore it and think it's ok. We got another Friday the 13th.  Eh, what's the difference.  Ever since that g...

There's a reason I keep to myself and why I get labeled quiet.  I've taken too many stab wounds to the back and I don't think my dermatologist has a prescription for that. Ugh.  I try to look at the group chat when I'm off to see if I missed any information and most times, I wind up feeling mad. It's the diva.  She seems to be taking the lurker's spot.  She had asked about information on something I shared with her when she started.  People forget.  I know I do.  Regina sent over the same instructions I sent her when she first started.  Ok.  We all forget.   It was the compliment that the diva sent back that made me see red.  She proclaimed that Regina was the best and that she rocked. No, I don't want to be told I'm the best or that I rock.  I thought I gave you that information twice when you first started and you didn't listen to a word I said. Then you complained about how you were trained. I spent so much time with th...

I am getting a little mad at my group.  I'll take them over the one I had previously but still.  I'm tired of the childish comments, lack of help and microagressions.  That's just the diva! I think it was me being off yesterday afternoon that set me off when the diva commented about it.  It's a half day.  Not a week.  I am tired of hearing the word lucky.  No, I'm not lucky.  Far from it. The next couple of weeks won't be great for me so maybe that's setting me off.  I am worried about my test next week. I don't want to have to come back for ultrasounds or biopsies.  It's like please give me a year off and I know I have cysts because I can feel it.  Sigh. That's not the sad part.  I couldn't remember if I had a dentist appointment this Friday or next and when I called, I found out it's next Friday.  Ok.  No problem.  Then I asked if my dentist will be back and she said no.  That still upsets me. He was on me...