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And so it's Friday

Glad the week is ending.  I will have company by the end of the day. I hope Honey Bear does well with Kringle and Daisy.  Especially Kringle. I hope she doesn't have a set back.  She seems to be getting more comfortable each day.  Her and Kringle are the same age so hoping they might play together instead of her hiding under mine or my mom's bed. I was going through some old pictures of Precious.  I watched a video of her kneading and purring next to me.  I sound like a sap don't I?  Well this one is still hitting me hard.  You know, people don't get someone's journey like mine.  It seems like there's a lot of "Not for me" when it comes to getting something.  It just seems like a lot of things don't happen.  It was my hope growing up that I'd have my own family.  Then I thought maybe I'd find a good partner even if kids weren't possible.  Then I found what I thought was my family really wasn't when it came to work.  I...
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The Loneliness of it all

I heard from my sister last night.  Her brother in-law is back in the hospital and I don't think he has much time left.  He's been having his own cancer battle for the last six years and well, fuck cancer.  That's all I got.  I'm so sorry for him. His wife on the other hand is causing problems with his last wishes.  He would like to go to hospice.  She would like him home. I'll take Option A over her.  She's prepared to do battle.  They told her it was his wish.  She doesn't think he can make decisions.  I don't care how drugged up he is.  I think he means it.  I would mean it.  Let me be in peace damn it.   I have no problem saying yeah, I'm lonely.  I'm also aware that you can even be lonelier in a relationship and I was.  Do I ever think the few relationships I had would have lasted my cancer diagnosis?  No. I don't think the few I dated would have cared or would have made it about them.  I...
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Throwing a Bone

I kind of figured the diva would try to take over today's meeting.  Not too bad for her.  This drives me nuts with someone like her.  They have no problem putting others down or making a smart comment but this I'm so frail and nervous act really gets my goat.  Just stop it. We had a small glitch in our system and someone had come up with a solution to work around.  Most of it did it.  The diva did not and expected myself or someone else to help her.  Oh, lucky me. Now I'm important.  I nodded my head and I was very thankful when the vaper figured it out and offered to call her.  Good.  I have better things to do than to get insulted. There's a meet once a month that the diva is involved in.  It's her idea really.  No, it's not a bad idea.  It's actually a really good idea and she had started it with the bragger.  When they presented it, there was a note about them bringing in other people who were experienced to help ...
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What's New Tuesday

 For the life of me, I couldn't figure out why the extra money I gave to Macy's wasn't showing up.  Since my balance was getting lower and could see the light of being paid off, I tried working on making extra payments.  I am close.  I thought I'd have it paid off this month but I thought where is the $50 payment I made a couple of weeks ago?  It got applied to a different card.  Sigh.  It's ok.  I'll try it again later this month.  I know I put a note where to apply it, but mistakes happen and it's not a tragic one.  If anything I'll have it paid off before year's end.  I wish I could say the same about all of them. I got a flyer in the mail about my benefits enrollment.  I signed in to look and see what plan I had last night.  I wasn't sure.  I think I'll just get an increase in what they deduct.  What's new?  I was worried my deductible was going up.  I think my dental is going up as well too.  ...
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Part of the Gang

 I made it another six months with the dentist.  After he said Good for now and we won't do anything, it took me a moment to wonder What did you mean?  Well.  I'll find out six months from now.  It's a little nerve wracking going to someone new.  I don't know what to do about the whole mouth guard thing either.  Well.  I'll have money six months from now for that moment.   And screw you Walgreens in my old neighborhood. I hated your stupid store for the 21 years I lived there and you still suck.  I just park there and walk over to my appointment.  Been doing it for years!  A lot of times I walk in there and might buy something.  Well today, there was a sign that said no parking for more than 30 minutes or you get towed.  BOOO!!!  Oh yes, everyone is rushing to go to Walgreens because there's none in the area.  Oh no! I decided to park in the Tippecanoe parking lot.  Kind of weird to actually come f...
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Half Day Monday

I don't know if taking off for the dentist will be a barrel of laughs but it'll be nice to get away for an afternoon.  At least the weather is nice.   Now I do dread seeing my emails. Last week two of the three people who give me the most work were gone.  It was nice to catch up and easier but now it's game on.  I'm worried about one situation.  One person kind of expects me to magically figure things out when I need their help.  I have a feeling I'm going to get blamed for this situation and that aggravates me.  I get tired of getting blamed for stuff when I'm supported at times.  When they say things roll downhill, I feel like I got a boulder coming at me. Honey Bear spent more time with me yesterday.  I'm glad she's comfortable and is getting used to us.  I kind of worried she would be too standoffish.  She's looking out the window now so that's a good thing. I looked at some of my past blood work and I noticed that there wa...
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Bad Mood Recipient

 I better not be the recipient of anyone's bad mood when I sign in tomorrow.  I might look forward to the dentist in the afternoon if I got to deal with that in the morning.  The diva put up her doctor's name and location of her appointment.  I felt like I violated HIPPA without even trying.  I'm not sharing my location.  Mind your business.  Someone said they were going to the dentist and she replied, I love clean teeth.  Well, I would hope we all like clean teeth.  What a weird person.  The thirst for attention is real.  No shock on the former cheerleader revelation. Today I had a bit of a better day with Honey Bear.  She slept on my bed for most of the afternoon.  I was shocked.  I fell asleep for awhile.  I woke up in the middle of the night and I couldn't go back to sleep. I took something and I hate that it makes me sleepy during the day.  I hate that I asked to have my milligrams reduced because I sai...
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