The Invisible Woman Chronicles

 This isn't about lurkers or stompers.  This is my inability to find friends in this lifetime.  I swear I don't know how to make any.  I'm lucky Corinne wants to be my friend some days. I feel so stupid and like a little kid getting rejected on the playground again.  It's pathetic when you're my age.  I didn't want to be part of clubs or cliques.  I wanted to have people who really did care about what happened to me. It's silly that I'm crying because it doesn't mean anything.  It doesn't mean I won't hear from this person.  I just feel like that kid that gets their hopes up and doesn't get invited to the birthday party.   This week there was a message board of thanks for the work that we do and I noticed something was posted from Sosie. I hadn't done any work for her and it's been awhile since we talked so yeah, it kind of meant something that someone recognized me.  Saw me.   I sent an email last night telling her w...

I'll say it again.  Flowery words are nice but they mean zero when you don't back them up.   Yesterday was a day to celebrate what I do every day.  I am ok if that day isn't celebrated.  I just am at this point in my life.  In the office, the managing attorney would say the same thing and then treat people like me garbage so heartburn from a lunch I didn't ask for and gift cards that I don't need just don't mean anything.  I would like my daily life to be quality. I don't want to hear words that mean nothing. I got something in the mail from the stomper.  It was a little organizer book and a fancy book mark.  I got a gift card that was good. I'm not sure the amount but I will use it.  I asked my sister if my niece would like it and she would.  It's not for me and it means nothing to me.  There was a note written on the inside and this morning I ripped it out of the book and shredded it.  It was just empty words. Ever since...

 On Monday, I was angry.  I felt like a dumping ground and I really couldn't pretend that I was a happy person when I got my response.  I actually cut off my call early because I was pissed off. It's not anything I'm familiar with. I hit the end button when I heard I really appreciate you.  Oh F all the way off.  No you appreciate me being a door mat. Just stop it.  Quit talking.  Yeah.  I'm talking about the stomper.  I think the light switch came on for me that I had enough and ignored enough. I still have to deal with it for a few more weeks and I don't know if I can fake it.  I think when someone is part of your daily life and it's imperative that you don't show how you feel, you ignore a lot.  I really can't ignore a lot and right now I want to unload a lot of my feelings off right now.  I wouldn't at the stomper.  Honestly.  So tired of the stupidity. I've said it before and I'll say it again.  So sick of t...

There's someone who is in my daily orbit that I have shown a lot of grace to over the last few years.  On Monday, I couldn't hide my anger when they directed me on something.  I just had enough.   Sometimes you make excuses for someone's shortcomings.  You say well they're better than this person or that person.  When you realize that they will be moving elsewhere, it's a relief that you won't have to put up with their garbage. The stomper is probably the best word to describe this individual.  They basically stomped their feet to get what they wanted and then stomped on others to get things done. Has the stomper been a bad person like the lurker?  No.  Complicit at times when it came to concerns regarding the lurker, but yes, has been gracious many times.  Insulting many times.  I always thought of someone that I used to deal with who was way worse.  I also remembered who was way better.  This person was not way better....

Hopefully it's not too chaotic with my daily life.  I know with the lurker gone it'll be a little faster and furious but I think everyone's mental health will improve without her playing games.  Do I think Regina and the diva will behave now that their leader is gone?  No.  I don't think it'll be as bad.  It's just a relief not to have her here sending me messages with yellow highlights letting me know what I did wrong.  She did it to a lot of us and Regina admitted to someone that the lurker got into trouble when they worked together because the others thought she was mean.  Yeah.  She is mean.  Glad she's gone. I think the dental cleaner I got is a game changer.  I noticed the difference when I put in my mouth guard.  My other cleaner wasn't bad, but I don't know if it had the same super powers that this one did.  I'm fine with buying more tablets off of Amazon.  That was someone's complaint.  I agree.  More ta...

 Ever tell someone something and they miss the point completely?  I get that a lot. I thought well, maybe I can cut down on my anxiety meds with the lurker gone.  If I said that to anyone jokingly, it would be do you need help? When I did speak up the last time about the lurker, the point of what I had to say was completely lost on this person.  The lurker was abandoning my tasks, closing them out and basically interfering.  I've already banged the warning drum on how this person is not trustworthy.  I said When does this end?  I said it's been a lot for me this past month being sick, my mom getting hospitalized over the Easter holiday and it's been chaotic for me personally.  I said can she just leave people alone and not harass them?  Life is hard enough. You know what I got in response?  You know, if you need family leave to take care of your mom, we have family leave. THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!   My mom was reading a book as ...