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Nervous System on fire

I felt like my whole central nervous system was on fire from anxiety the other day. I wasn't sure what to think after our first day in our new situation. I wasn't sure if I was being blamed for something and I wasn't.  It's everyone's fault. I wasn't longing for the past after Monday, I was longing for peace. I think after yesterday, I should be ok. The diva on the other hand is a whole other story.  I knew this would happen. She needed help and normally I'd let Regina or someone else help because why?  She doesn't want my help.  Since they weren't and I didn't want to leave the impression my jerk, I tried to help as well as our new world person.  I even offered to call the diva and I knew what the response would be.  Ignore me.  I threw out a couple of people's names she could contact.  I guess she would up calling the stomper who helped over what I thought was something simple.  In our daily check in, she was waving her hands and being emot...
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New Day, New things

 I woke up sometime after 4 and couldn't go back to sleep.  I was feeling a little nervous about what my day will bring me but not stressed like I had been the last month and a half. I really hope this is a better change and I think it will.  I think the stomper will get the group she really deserves. I hope the good humans have a good day. I have to call my insurance company and tell them I didn't order a urinary catheter for crying out loud.  Nobody ever got back to me.  Such a mess.  I have a feeling I might have a bigger mess to clean up.  Thanks scummy people.  
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Last Week in Review - Graduation, Toxic Relationships and I Miss Stephen Colbert

 I miss Stephen Colbert this last week.  I love Jimmy Kimmel.  Don't get me wrong but Stephen seemed to have more interesting people come on his show than Tim Allen.  Happy to see he had Tom Hanks on his show though.   I have been catching up on the Summer House drama.  I'm almost to Season 9 plus I have kept up on this year's reunions. I know these shows are crap but they're like my All My Children and General Hospital shows.  They're my stories.  They keep me from crying from real life. I know there's a lot of graduating going on this past week for school.  Kind of feels like I graduated from the school of humiliation.  I really felt like I had an out of body experience in our last meeting.  I don't know what was wrong with me with my responses or how I appeared on camera.  I didn't know how to hide my emotions that I can't fake things.  I knew the Stomper knew something was up and tried to ask what was wrong. ...
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The Pampered Princess Syndrome

 Today was a podcast kind of morning.  I finished listening to Andy Cohen's weekly shows and then listened to Gavin Newsom's podcast that had Hunter Biden on. I have really grown to love Hunter, especially after reading his book.  He's not perfect and he'll tell you that he's not perfect.  I want to see him succeed.  I appreciate his honesty and lately his MAGA trolling has made me smile and laugh.  I think their family has a good heart.  I felt a ping in my heart when he talked about Joe grieving for this country.  Yeah. Me too.  I didn't cry.  I will if I turn it onto the UFC fighting tonight.  WTF? It was the second podcast that intrigued me.  I found Jennifer Welch's podcast.  I thought this woman looks familiar when I'd see her in the news or on Instagram.  Her and her co-host used to be on a Bravo show in Oklahoma.  Of course I watched it.  It's Bravo and I have no life.  She is wicked funny as we...
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And The Cow Goes Moo!

 That's what was yelled at me tonight as I crossed the street on my walk and on my way to Monterey Market.  Cool. First time I got mooed at?  No.  Last time?  Probably not. Even if I lost the weight I wanted to lose, someone always has to yell something stupid.  No, I'm not going to hide in the house because someone did that.  I'm going to do what I can do during the week.  Go for my walk.  I'll lose weight in due time.  Some people will always be ugly on the inside. It's been a week.  My cousin found out she has some autoimmune disease and basically going through a nightmare with paperwork and pain.  I don't understand why the limit her pain pills.  I just don't understand any of this.  I feel horrible and I hope her doctor can do something on Monday when she goes again.  This is insane.  They don't even have a neurologist until August in the area.  Just insane. I was worried poor Precious was going to...
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Performance Art

 Poor Precious.  Her stomach had a rough day yesterday.  We think it was the sauce from my mom's chilli beans.  I felt like I was dealing with the Exorcist when I woke up yesterday and kind of throughout the day. I ordered some food to help with her sensitive stomach.  Because she had lost weight, I wanted her to eat what she wanted.  Now that this happened?  Yeah. I got to be more mindful about what she is eating.  I was going to Pet Supplies store on Sundays and I don't know why I stopped.  I will make a point to pick up more healthier food.  She seems to be doing a lot better this morning. I got her Greenies from Target to help her out if she wanted a snack.  I got a big bag of dry food coming today.  Hopefully that'll help. She did kind of accidentally help me get out of a call.  We were at the end and the diva shared her vacation pictures.  It wasn't one or two.  It was about twenty.  At one point I got...
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Toxic Relationships

I guess you don't have to be in a romantic or is being married still considered romantic? My point is there's many examples of toxic relationships that you find yourself in and don't always realize it. I guess I didn't realize it with the stomper.  When I met the stomper, they were in the same spot as me.  They seemed nice and a bit scattered but I understood.  Having two little ones at home, it was understandable.   The stomper stepped into a role that was a little bit above me which I was fine with but started seeing some signs that troubled me.  I kind of saw some micro managing and when I'd ask for help, I'd get a can you figure it out yourself?  I did but I kind of resented it after I was told not to worry, I'd be there for you. When the stomper applied for something higher up, she was angry about being turned down.  I kind of thought maybe it was too soon since they hadn't been there long enough and I tried to be gentle with my words.  ...
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