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Overload

I was without the internet all morning yesterday.  Can't say it was the worst thing in the world but when you already were out 2 days, you know things are going to pile up. They did.  I think another person is mad at me for being behind.  Add more to the list.  Sigh. I ended my day when I realized that the lurker was involved in another incident on something I worked on. I thought maybe this file had closed out but I had gotten asked a question in an email and when I looked, I saw that I had something open but it got abandoned and there were kind of mean notes put in there.  The lurker was working on rescheduling something. I forward it to the individual. I don't think I can take much more of the deception.  It may mean a move for me in the future but how long does it take before something breaks you?  I'm tired of the excuses being made for this individual. I'm overloaded.    If you have someone in your life like this and you can walk away, ...
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Searching on Superior

 I found a new route for walking.  I wasn't sure what I was going to do this morning.  I did want to get more postcard stamps and I didn't want to drive to Shorewood.  I couldn't find them at West Milwaukee and I knew my neighborhood would flip me off.  I took a drive to Bay View this morning and went to their post office.  This would make me boring as F if I told a co worker what I did this morning. They wouldn't be wrong. I knew my mom had her doctor appointment but I wanted to get some type of walk in this morning.  I parked my car near the offices where the Democratic Party of Milwaukee is located in Bay View and walked.  I walked along Superior and then crossed the street to get another view of the city and the lake.  It was really beautiful.  I think with gas prices being bad, I may change my routine up a bit.  I don't put on as many miles to Bay View as I do for the east side. It really doesn't matter to much with me because ...
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Exhausted

 It's not from what happened with my mom last weekend.  I just about had it with the group that I spend my days with that I feel exhausted.  I have today and Monday off.  I just don't know what to do anymore. Yesterday, I spent an hour listening to Regina go on about her work, how she is the most important person in the group and all of her responsibilities have changed.  I could go walk around the block, come back and she would still be talking because she never takes a breath.  I resent it because I've been in the position where I've asked this group for help and have heard nothing.  I feel like I'm going to have the mafia after me if I don't. I did help her area when she was out for the day. I know what she's doing.  She's hoping that she messes it up and complains so much that she'll get her old area back that nobody could touch.  Regina has been the most useless person in our group.  Unless it's to help the lurker, everyone else can...
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Home

 Mom has been home a day now.  I got her out yesterday.  I wasn't sure if it was possible.  She had a low grade fever and then something happened with her IV.  Her doctor came in before 2 and told her that she was good to go.  I was tearful when I thought she wouldn't be able to come home.  I was happy to come get her and I didn't care I had to wait 2 hours with her.  I had my mom. We never really do much of anything on the holiday but we have each other.  I saw my future on Sunday.  I know that there will be a day that it's just me and you know?  It sucks.  I don't know how to fix it.  There have been people who have come and gone.  Mostly gone.   I think Cassie thought she was my emergency contact when life fell apart.  No, I thought she was a friend. I was never invited over to her home so what did I expect?  Even Corinne had her Easter dinner and everything.  I knew she knew about lonely h...
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Lonely Easter

It's my hope that mom will be home today.  I am preparing myself in case that's, well, not the case.  She seemed to be doing a lot better.  I talked to her for an hour and a half last night before I went to bed.  I came over in the afternoon for an hour and a half to see how she was.  She was able to get up and get to the bathroom ok.  This morning she'll get a chest x-ray.  I'm not sure if it's morning but I think she hopes it's soon.  I do too.   I thought I was ok and when I sat with Precious on my mom's bed, I cried. I have spent a few holidays alone when she lived with my grandmother or when my parents would go up north to see my grandmother when she was alive.   I had nobody to talk to.  I had Corinne message me a bit.  I did what I could for the house.  She normally takes care of the dishes which I hate but I did it.  I took care of the laundry, made sure Precious was fed and snuggled.  I watched...
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All I want for Easter is my mom home

My mom is in the hospital with pneumonia.  The doctor that talked to us today said she was on the verge of starting it so it was good she came in.  He was going to end her fluids and see how she was doing.  He said if her chest x ray looked good then she could be released on Monday.     I'm not sure who the other woman was but she was taking some type of blood cultures and I guess she has a staph infection. I didn't catch all of it but she talked about possibly a home care worker giving her oxygen at home or going to assisted living if need be.   I know they have to say the worst but it's scary to hear the worst. It finally took me until now to start crying.  I can't stop crying.  I'm so sad. 
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This week and weather sucked

I should have went to urgent care Saturday morning.  Now my mom has a cold.  She swears it's from standing in line at the food pantry on Wednesday.  No.  It was me.  I've been hacking all week with my cough so sooner or later it would have affected her.  Maybe it wouldn't have made a difference if I went on Saturday or Tuesday.  It just sucks.  I do feel responsible. I hesitated on leaving for a hair cut. I thought am I going to start choking during the appointment? I was fine for the most part.  Just a couple of moments that I covered with the water I requested.  I swear I was on the verge of cancelling it when I had trouble with the parking meter.  I hate that they stopped doing weekend appointments.  It didn't bother me that I paid $2 for parking.  It pissed me off that I couldn't get my debit card in.  I realized the first meter was broke and I had to pull up to another one to do it.  It's not easy when it's ...
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