The Invisible Woman Chronicles

 What would I like for my birthday?  Someone actually listening to me.  Someone actually paying attention and remembering what I'm saying.  Depending on age, I can show grace on the forgetting part since I'm a frequent forgetter.  You know what I'm saying.  You don't feel like you're yelling into the void all the time. I probably go back to what Sosie did for me one Christmas.  Or holiday.  People can shove up with the imaginary war on Christmas thing, but I digress.  I joked about shoplifting from Whole Foods when I had so many appointments that year.  She sent me a gift card for Whole Foods and told me to stop shoplifting. I did it once when I was five.  I apologized to my mom.  Anyway, she paid attention to something I might like.  No fat lady Hawaiian shirts that year, thank goodness. I got frustrated when I looked at my medical online.  I had to just do the usual fill out the forms when you have an appointment an...

 I had a Facebook memory come up of me asking people about doctors.  Mine had left in late 2012 and I was wondering if anyone had suggestions.  My former best friend Deanna recommended someone in Bay View and I went to that person for five years. I unfriended Deanna after I found out she voted for well, you know, that guy and was justifying why.   I was trying to think when we became close in school.  It was maybe sophomore year in high school?  We were both our own misfits and we spent a lot of time together at each other's houses.  She was the one who accidentally got me and a mutual friend talking again.  She was friends with my junior high ex-friend Derrick.  Derrick was a dork and we lived in the same neighborhood.  He said horrible things to my face about what an ugly nose I had and it looked like I had a banana for a nose.  It just got to the point where I stopped talking to him because of the hurtful things he said....

 What do I wish for my birthday? I don't want to feel like I'm anyone's obligation.  I want to actually feel like someone wants me around because they like me.   Stupid birthdays. I think they remind me of what I'm missing.  If I went on Facebook and wrote a post about how I just wished I had someone that I could have coffee with (even though I don't drink coffee, I do drink a beverage, damn it), people would be hurt like Corinne. If she was still in the area, I would happily meet up with her and I know she would be open to that.  I'm just thankful she messages me a few times a week.  When I see days where she's posting online and doesn't respond to my message, I feel a little hurt.  In her case, I get it.  She was me for the longest time so I think she's used to her own bubble. Nothing will top me asking Cassie where I can find a good mover and not hearing from her for a few days.  Yet, I saw all the Snap Chat alerts she was online....

I don't feel prepared and it doesn't feel like I'll have another week off effective next week.  I was used to just doing 3 days the first week in November to help me with my election trauma. I found out I could take a day off for my birthday as well as one for voting.  Why not?  I didn't think it would be a popular time.  Then the diva announced she would be out as well but it didn't seem like anyone knew because well she doesn't know how to fill out things properly.  Don't ask me because I make her feel stupid.  Sigh.  My mom has said repeatedly I listened to you.  You were nice to her and she's an ass.  Yeah. I know.   I thought someone was yelling a fat comment at me when I was standing at the light waiting for it to turn green when I walked back from lunch.  I looked up as the truck passed and he yelled "Go brewers!"  I forgot I was wearing a Brewers zip up hoodie I got about 10 years ago.  I waved.  I though...

 To anyone who criticized Milwaukee, you can stay home from the parade that's probably happening today.  You don't get to celebrate the Brewers if you've criticized Milwaukee. That is awesome about the Brewers.  I'm happy for our city.  Hard to believe it was 1982 when I went to see them with my dad.  My dad would have been thrilled for this happening.  He probably would have had 12 beers before nine am.  I mean that with affection. I can say that. I think of Frick who is a big baseball fan.  She made out like Milwaukee was the most dangerous city.  Well you can stay home, ma'am.  We don't want your kind here. No parades for me.  Another day figuring out messes and getting to spend some time with the diva and others this afternoon.  There's been some shuffling around and now the diva and Regina will get to spend some time working together.  I hope they don't step on each other's toes.  Yes.  That was sarcasm. I a...

Looks like we're supposed to get a fair amount of rain next week when I'm off.  BOOO!!!!  I'm hoping it's not as bad as I think it'll be or it won't happen at all. I'm in a less black mood this morning.  I realized Thursday is the anniversary of my dad's passing.  28 years.  I wonder if that makes me feel meh about birthdays.  I don't know.  I don't like to think about me sitting on that hospital room floor outside of ICU that night.   There's someone that I have talked to online - another cancer survivor who has gone missing.  It's been about 10 years of us talking off and on and it's been about a month. This person actually lives in Canada and has had bad health.  Older woman and I suspect she's passed. I have no way of finding out and I'm just feeling a little heart sick about it.  This was someone I could talk to and I kind of suspect she's passed.  Too much of this happening.  It's hard to take. My day wasn't ...