Decisions and decisions

Now that summer is coming to an end, it's time to think about making appointments, or when to make them.  One is easy and what makes it easy is that this doctor is probably booked about 3 or 4 months out and I'm ok with that.  Nice doctor.  I just seem to say stupid stuff to him.

Looks like I might have to find a dentist in the near future. I was hoping my old dentist would be off of medical leave by now but he's not.  I called to change my appointment for my October and I asked about him.  They said he's probably retiring so I just asked if my appointment could get changed for early October with his partner who I have been seeing for the last year.

I know both of them are about in their late 70s and I know his partner is taking his patients as well so it's a lot.  How long is he going to want to keep up with that?  I figured I'll stay for now and be prepared for the find a new dentist conversation that will be coming my way.  

It's depressing looking at other dentists in the area.  I've had a long history of bad dentists so to go to someone for 20 plus years with not a lot of big bills is a freaking miracle.  It looks like there's maybe a couple in my old neighborhood and one that's not that far from where I live that might be ok.  I'm just on the fence about when to get the mouth guard.  I definitely don't have the money now. I was hoping I could talk to my old dentist about it but that's not going to happen.  My mom had an issue with his partner years ago when it came to paying for her false teeth that made me apprehensive about asking.  He's been nice and well, that was 20 years ago. I don't know.  It's hard when it comes to medical.

I know at some point I will have to call to change doctors.  I don't have a problem going in to go over my medical history and all that.  I'm just kind unsure on how to explain the comments from my current doctor if they look at the report.  I don't want to be disrespectful and rag on someone who has been good for the most part.  There's been moments where I haven't been listened to and this last visit really upset me.  I read his report and things were just taken out of context.  I swear if I cry about having to put Precious down, he would refer me to three therapists.  Do I come across as that screwed up?  I thought he should know about the semi hitting the side of my car in case I need physical therapy.  Instead, he's referring me to therapists.  He just kind of overwhelmed me.

As far as the accident went, I do drive on the freeway.  I don't like driving home from the east side because like today, there was a baseball game on and I know there's construction going on.  I just exit off through downtown and take my way home which probably takes me the same amount of time.  I fear my insurance rates going up if I get someone else hitting me.  This morning, I had someone go around me at a red light and take off.  I met the same car at the next light and they were tailgating the person in front of them.  They were looking to get around the car.  Who really isn't that crazy about driving these days?  Raise your hand.  People are asses when it comes to driving.

I asked if I could have my anxiety dosage lowered because of the sleepiness.  This part pisses me off.  I explained that I felt a little tired if I took a half dose and I got ignored.  I break up what I have into fours.  This is not an everyday thing for me like people may think it is.  Most of the time, I'm fine on the weekends.  I'm probably even better since I don't go to an office.  I get nervous when I have a 1 on 1 or if I'm in a meeting where I have to speak.  Yeah, I get upset in life and need a little help.  I don't know people freak when you mention it jokingly.  Who doesn't need something with the orange goon in the White House?  People should quit being judgmental when it comes to those things.  I listened to someone who told me I should be off of any anti depressants years ago and I went cold turkey like a dumb ass.  It's nobody's business when it comes to mental health.  If anything, I work hard to protect my mental health.

I'm really not a fan of the clinic despite the fact it's only six blocks from me.  The person who has down my blood draws the last few years has been rude like nobody's business and hurts me.  I never had that problem at the cancer center and I understand it's not a fun thing to go but this person is just unpleasant.  I never had that issue anywhere else.  

Then there's the other doctor I skipped or cancelled on for next month.  I don't think she has Milwaukee hours anymore and I'm not driving to Mequon.  I would for some doctors but I felt rushed the few times I saw this person.  Nice enough but I had questions about small issues that got ignored.  Yet, I had a thryoid test ordered for me because I was the only one who was gaining weight after I went off my cancer pills.  I read reviews and I saw how wonderful this provider was explaining things and kind.  I agree on the kind part.  I just don't know why anytime I left, I got my feelings hurt for one reason or another.  I guess sometimes that person is not a good fit.  It doesn't mean they are a bad person.  It just means maybe this isn't someone I should be dealing with in the future.  

I have kind of felt like I should apologize for being me in these situations.  Sorry you got to deal with someone so bad who can't lose weight or is just not doing as well I should be in life. 

I will make that phone call to change.  I will try to explain kindly if I get asked why I wanted to change and hope for the best.

I hate decisions like this but I hope this is for the best.