The Invisible Woman Chronicles

 I did another text bank with Field Team 6. A little wonky system but I got 400 texts out and only 1 person told me to F off. It was to encourage people to register to vote in Ohio and re-elect Sherrod Brown.  People confuse me. I wish people like me could meet up and talk about users.  We're probably all afraid of being used again I hear open your heart and I do. I hear be wary of being trusting everyone and I am Where's that happy medium where I can trust and just relax?   I hope the good humans have the peace of mind I'm missing and sleep well. I'll be up at 3:45 feeding Precious and overthinking

 Well watching Maggie Haberman on CNN.  I read Confidence Man about a year and a half ago. Good journalist. I like her little cat eye glasses and serious tone.   Today I filled out feedback on the student who colored my hair. I gave 4 out of 5 stars and wrote my explanation for the rating.  I don't want to be that person who complained over one bad moment.  The thing is, there's a chance I could get this student again and I didn't want to see her again.  She made me feel bad.   I was maybe a few shots from freedom last year and I was feeling fatigued from getting a shot in my stomach.  I was upset about Precious and the vet, my mom's eyesight, it just seemed like things were continuing to go downhill.  It was a very nice nurse that I had gotten who was maybe a little chattier than I could handle.  She hit a blood vessel and apparently I gushed blood.  I wasn't upset.  I have been a human pin cushion for years so new d...

 The week flew and it wasn't all bad.  I don't think I'll cringe at the news today.   I do cringe at people saying that this is a banana republic.  I just can't with people's thinking.  If you're getting your news from Tik Tok, I'm just sad for you.  I wondered with having two lawyers on the jury helped with explaining this situation to the other members.  Whether someone is nice or mean, if you broke the law, there are rules in this country. I am not sure what is going on downstairs with their car.  He had a car for awhile and seemed to disappear before his contempt hearing.  Her car has been gone but we have seen other cars and have wondered, did they get a new one?  I know, too much time on our hands.  This week, my mom had commented about how the washer indicates that there's a light that goes on after 20 washes and it needs cleaning.  We had done about 18 loads and the light came on.  I don't doubt that the monst...

 I was driving down National Avenue in rush hour when I got the call from my mom.  I'm not surprised they heard me yell "YES" all down Miller Parkway Road.  I happened to see an alert from Corinne that the jury was in and I thought this wasn't good for Mango Mussolini.   People kind of dismissed this case as being a nothing burger.  We'll see.  It has been interesting and July 11th is an interesting date since the convention is here on the 15th.  Yay Milwaukee "groan"  That kills me the pandemic hit in 2020 and the Democrats had to do a virtual one.  I know.  How dare we be responsible and not kill anyone with Covid.  Insert eye roll emoji. It was a day the bully got told he can't get away with his actions.  It was a good day for the humans tired of the bullies.  I am exhausted from mine downstairs but today, his existence doesn't turn me into a puddle of tears. I had gone to get my hair colored and cover the grey spa...

Back in the early aughts when I thought I was going to move to San Diego and live with an idiot, we had talked about what we do.  Harold thought I should be in charge of the money which was a bad idea since I'm not that great, but apparently he thought I had a lot of it.  One of the many flags I should have seen flying in front of me and upside down - still can't get over Judge Alioto's wife chasing and spitting at cars, but I digress, Harold asked me how much I made.  I was relatively new at my job and he thought I was a millionaire.  I think he kind of looked at me like I was going to bankroll for him for everything.  I made $12.00 an hour.  I wasn't bankrolling myself but at the time, it was ok. It was my hope that he could have found something stable and gotten an apartment.  It was my hope that he could have helped me with moving across country and I don't mean to bankroll it. I mean come to Milwaukee and help me.  It was a naive thought....

 Not totally out. I did a text bank tonight for Vote Riders for Wisconsin voters tonight.  Nobody cursed me out. I got called "dummy" but that's pretty mild in the name calling department. I don't even want to mention the monster.  Yeah, I worry that something may happen to me or my mom.  That's why I text my landlord.  No phone calls.  It goes in writing in the event the monster does something.  The landlord was warned and did nothing. I am hoping this feeling of unease will pass.  I so badly wanted him on the way out with that court hearing.  It doesn't even matter if there was a man here.  My brother in-law was trying to find ways to help us and the monster took the light bulb out of the socket that goes for our lights.  He argued with the landlord that it was his light. Just felt frustrated when I went for a walk tonight.  There's no way out for me and even talking about it and putting it down in a blog?  Makes me feel...

 Did I mention he has a punch-able face? He does. Last night, he left our side door unlocked.  It's our only door.  He has a front door.  We suspect he does his drug deals at the side door. Today, my mom found the dryer door unlocked.  Those locks are easy to pick. I thought it would be a deterrent but not for this guy.  I don't think he used it but he is the type to do it just because he can.   I'm going to guess he did get a message or call to quit playing with our circuit breaker so this is payback. Message to the universe - please get him out of our lives. I don't know how much more we can take. 

 I swear my mom and I could have a show on Hulu called the Old Ladies of the Upper Duplex.  She spent last night speculating if the monster's girlfriend got a new car.  Were they here this weekend?  Where's the other car?  Oh my god.  I understand her worry and wonder.  I prefer to forget but yes, it appears that there's a new car.  I think they were probably gone for the weekend.  How unfortunate for the neighborhood. I did hear from Cassie last night.  It was just two generic sentences and eh, I'm fine.  I don't mean to be dismissive of someone that showed up, but I think it was to tell others and not for me.  There were instances when I trained her early on and comments were made to by others about what she said and did.  She implied I had a smell that came from one person.  I didn't want to believe it.  I thought oh, she's just making up stuff.  Made me sensitive about it where I had about 10 deodorants ...

 Lately, I can't seem to walk into a Walgreens without someone trying to hustle me for money.  Good luck.  I pretend I can't hear them most of the time.  Someone was standing outside on Wednesday and said Hi, sweetheart, how are you?  I wasn't sure if he was referring to me but I was hoping he would be gone when I left.  Many months ago, someone was yelling at people to give him some money.  When he got to me, I channeled his energy and yelled, NO!  Give me money!  He backed up and threw his hands up. He was still yelling at people to give him money and seemed to skip me when I left.  This winter, I got out of my car just to go in and scan items on my Shopkick list. I was not buying anything whatsoever and I knew someone was going to start with me when some woman waved at me.  She told me to be careful of the ice.  It was not icy out.  I thought cut it out.  She said she needed some shoes from Goodwill which was down ...

Felt like I was doing clean up in aisle 5.  Putting emails into their proper homes, filling out reports, all that fun paper pushing stuff I have been excelling at since 1992.  Maybe not excel.  Do somewhat proficiently.  No bad things happened during the workday.  There was a correction moment where I added a zero on something.  The comment was made that it was interesting that the other document didn't have the extra zero.  I do interesting things when I screw up.  That's what makes me - ME "insert smiley face" I got pictures of Charlotte doing artwork from my sister.  Her one hand was all blue and green. I said make sure she shakes her mom's hand with it when she picks her up.  She loves to do arts and crafts with my sister when she spends time at their house.  If it wasn't for the rain, I would walk to Dollar Tree tonight and find some art supplies for when they're here that she can do with grandma and mess up their Air BNB....

 Let it not be a Monday kind of day. I have a meeting later in the day with the group I work with the most.  That makes me nervous because it will involve feedback. I think it'll be ok, but after about 10 plus years of someone always putting me down, I'm always a little apprehensive about any type of feedback.  I figure my eye will start twitching and my face will turn red. The monster and his girlfriend appears that they might be gone for a week.  I am guessing it is his relative that is taking care of the dogs.  I noticed a few surprises in the lawn.  What did their mom teach them about cleaning up after themselves?  Ok to use the grass as their public bathroom?  I see people walking with their dogs and a little bag on the weekends and I think so is that what people do?  Clean up after their dogs?  How strange after seeing the brown brown grass of West Allis for almost 4 years.  Pigs. I feel bad for my mom who is feeling kind of s...

 Watching Joy Reid and Rachel Maddow talk about Medger and Myrlie Evers which has been really good. Not really dreading a Tuesday.  I'm ok with it.   Just missing my old neighborhood. I would have had to move at some point because my landlord was basically a crook.  He is back in business again.  He had about 90 lawsuits after we left and went out of business.  Because we moved farther away, I had to get closer.  It took me 3 hours to get home one night during an ice storm.  The feelings of stuck are sticking with more than usual tonight. Tomorrow will be a new day.  Hoping I'll feel better.  Kind of wish there was a club for all the introverts.  We'd all be too afraid to meet each other. Good night good humans. 

 We took a drive for possible rentals.  No sign.  No signs whatsoever, but we know the score.  We headed to Wal-Mart in our old area by St. Luke's Hospital and got a few groceries.  I feel so lonesome for my old neighborhood somedays.  I know everyone is in the same boat with renting.  It's just hard and really scary right now. One day at a time.  It was nice to look and dream, I guess. This morning, I saw a woman with beautiful grey and silver hair.  I look like the villain in Josie and the Pussycats cartoon right now.  I think her name was Alex?  I'm a dark blonde and have had no desire to go back to blonde for a long time.  I never had fun with it.  I preferred being a brunette or having a copper color mixed with the greys that come sprouting out.  I'm not a fan of the skunk streak that I get when it's time.  I'm not hating it but not quite there on doing the full grey.  Men look great with grey hair thou...

 It doesn't shock me when someone ignores a message I sent or an invite.  I kind of find it rude as you know what - letter that starts after E, but I accept it.  I know sometimes people are busy, but sometimes people are just rude.  Shocking to have it happen?  Eh, not so much these days.  It's been a normal way of life for me. Before the pandemic hit, I was suppose to do a job shadow with an attorney.  He was relatively new and he seemed like such a fun person to talk to.  I usually wound up sitting next to him at lunches and I found out he was a neighbor of Lois and he laughed about her husband helping him with some home repairs because he felt so inept.  All of the women liked Dan.  We thought he was just an easygoing personality.  As part of my goals, I had asked to job shadow an attorney on a deposition and Dan offered.  He sent me emails of possible depositions I could shadow him on and we found one that would work. He al...

Thankful for the extra time off.  I tried watching a movie on Netflix but fell asleep last night.  It was about the reporters that got an interview with Prince Andrew and his relationship with creepy Jeffrey Epstein.  I'll try to rewatch it again today when the news irritates me with the latest social media posting of Mango Mussolini.  See?  This is why social media is bad.  Some people need that taken away from them. It appears that the monster and his girlfriend went away this weekend.  It looked like someone was here to take the dogs out.  It looked like someone related to the monster.  He takes a lot of vacations.  I wish he would take a permanent one.  I figured it's his relative with the door slamming and yelling at the dogs.  She sounds delightful. I am taking my mom to Cermaks for cheese.  I am not going to the one that got a big story on them in the news for their dirty store.  I had actually just gone in the...

 I have had acid reflux for almost 20 years.  It wouldn't surprise me if I had an ulcer or what type of hernia is that?  Hiatel?  Ugh.  For years I took Zantac everyday.  I know.  Bad!  Very bad!  I was told to do a 14 day thing of taking Nexium and I got to admit, it hasn't been as bad.  I had an endoscopy in 2005 and I don't remember what I had, irritation?  Inflammation?  I was prescribed one thing by my doctor at the time and then I was told that insurance wouldn't accept it.  The stuff I got didn't really work and then the doctor I saw didn't really seem to be so easy to get an appointment so I switched but it was never really an issue until I got asked about it and considering what I went through, there was a suggestion to switch.  It's been a lot better, but I think about all the years I took it and think, is that what happened?  Is that what caused me to get cancer?  Lots of questions at 3:30 in the ...

 On most Sundays, I try to go to Pet Supplies Plus for Precious' food.  When I couldn't afford vet visits, I thought if I could get the food that she had for that month, maybe that would help. I couldn't get any of it without a vet's prescription. I didn't know what to do when it came to food.   I happened to stop in the store one day looking at what food would be a good choice and a young kid asked me if I needed help.  I explained that a vet said she could be diabetic and I can't afford to keep taking her but I want her to have healthier food and explained she's a senior.  He explained to me that Purina Pro Plan with the Healthy Essentials would be a good option for her.  He said it had more protein than carbohydrates so I got a few different cans.  She totally gobbled it up.  I also have gotten the dry food that she seems to do better with eating.  I still get her treats.  I may stop and grab a few Friskies cans from time to time...

 Well someone let me sleep and I thanked her for that with extra food.  Seems kind of grey out today.  I hope it doesn't rain when I walk.  I'll still walk but if it's a tsunami that might be a problem.  I have walked before in light rain and it's kind of nice.   I felt ok when I went to bed last night. I had a good laugh at my mom making fun of me that I got dumped by Cassie.  Not my first time a friend has ditched me.  Happening since 1974, mom.  I'm not sure what's happening.  I keep saying, Well maybe there's some glitch.  Social media has become such a bizarre thing for me.  I did see she was online on my Facebook messenger and I thought oh, maybe she saw my message.  I checked about 10 minutes later and she was gone.  Is this being ditched?  I'm really not sure.   Back when I got my rent raised, Cassie was set to send over $5000 to me for moving.  She's offered it before when I've talked...

 I re-watched John Mulaney's Baby J that my mom has memorized.  It's my second time watching it.  It's good. I do wish he had more comedy specials.  I have a Wham! documentary on now.  I can hardly contain my excitement. I am kind of suspecting that I might be blocked by Cassie on social media.  After the 2016 election, she wanted to go off social media, she spiraled about what had happened.  She ran and hid in a garage when someone told her she would have to work harder.  I can't explain what it is, I can make guesses.  Was I offensive for not saying thank you right away?  Maybe?  I've had a lot of people never thank me for anything.  I'm used to it.  I don't know.  Maybe I'm wrong.    I have been listening to Jen Psaki's book and it's really good in other ways, like dealing with difficult people at work.  Will I be able to put in that play?  Probably not, but I can work on it.  It's giving m...

 At least I left my Fetterman hoodie in the car when I went for my walk.  Humid day.  I get those weird shoulder thing and under my arm that makes it so sore on days like this.  I just push through it.  Totally sucks. We did drive through Bayview and I pulled over to get a phone number.  It was a little chaotic with people's driving and it stressed me out more.  I looked up the address and it's a four family and $1225.  Definitely out of our price range and there's a deposit for a cat or dog.  Well I can give them something my cat deposited but hard pass.   When we went to Aldi's, my mom accidentally hit the trunk door on the shopping cart.  Kind of a good excuse to go hide indoors. When I drove down Oklahoma Avenue, there was a car with a loud engine behind me.  When I pulled out from the stop light, I could see it coming towards me like it was going to tailgate me and I pulled over.  It really picked up speed, it ha...

 I did not wake up to the sounds of Stevie Wonder.  The Queen of Persnickety Litter Boxes got me a half hour earlier than I planned on waking up.  She's sleeping peacefully by the window, purring.   I'd rather it be her than my neighbor screaming obscenities. I dislike the fact she spends so much time in the bathtub licking that stupid faucet and getting her head drenched.  It makes me mad that nothing will be done with the bathtub until after we leave.  I don't think it's the safest bathtub either. I used to love getting bath products like bath bombs but I hesitate with getting anything like that because it'll take a half hour to drain and I don't want anything I use to slow it down or be the cause of making it worse.  We'll use the plunger from Dollar Tree but the whole situation is a joke.  There's a broken window downstairs that hasn't been fixed but not problem.  That's the monster downstairs and his dogs.  Just surprised it di...

 I did hear from my friend Ethan.  Ok, 1 out of 3 isn't bad, is it?  He gave great restaurant suggestions for my niece and sister and gave me a little hope that if we look for a rental in the area, it's good neighborhoods.  Ethan and his brother were good friends to me when we went to college and kind of like my brothers from another mother.  I never had the pleasure to meet his lovely wife or his kids, but I'm happy for him when I see their pictures.   Mo, I might hear from in a few months.  She was a social butterfly back then and still looks like it hasn't changed.  Cassie?  I'm not sure but I'm ok with whatever happens. See this is what I would like from my "imaginary man friend/comfort friend" understand when it comes to me.  I'll go through 50 different explanations on why something will go wrong.  It would be my wish that person would smile, let me talk about it and say, "It'll be ok."  Because in the end, it'll be ...

 So I did a few things tonight that I was working up the nerve to do but just didn't have the nerve.   I dislike asking people for anything because I either get made to feel bad or I do feel like I'm imposing.  I think one of my friends from college lives in the Washington Heights area with his wife and he has young kids.  I messaged him and asked if there were any good places for my niece to take her little girl for when they're in Milwaukee?  I'm convinced he won't respond. I sent a friend request to someone I used to work with about 20 years ago.  I feel like I passed a note to someone to hang out after school. Sigh. I liked Maureen and I see how much she's accomplished and I'm so proud of her.  I'm convinced she won't respond.  I went through the same thing last year with my friend Josie.  We sat by each other at a previous job and she was pregnant with  her little girl when we worked together.  Well her little girl has a l...

 I could have kept going if I could but I signed off later than I should.  I had spent most of my week working with different groups and this was the first day that I could focus on what I'm assigned to and I had a lot of catch up.  And some frustration. When I started over 20 years ago, I was surprised at people sitting around and talking.  I was shocked at how much time got wasted talking and it seemed like over time those days of taking your time ended and it was a reality shock for some.  I'm a worrier so I used to ask my attorney if there were tasks I could help him with and he would work with me to learn more.  Others aren't so receptive in being proactive and I'm finding out from another group that helped me kind of did the bare minimum.  Kind of made more work.   I felt kind of bad that I had the apathetic attitude when I got asked about something.  I wasn't sure why something was rejected and normally I would say I could make ph...

 It's really not as salacious as it sounds.  It's more Disney than R rated. I may not be the sunny optimistic person on love, but I have had some wishful thinking moments.  For anyone who hasn't watched Say Anything, watch it.  The scene where John Cusack holds up the boom box isn't the iconic part.  It's the first scene where he tells his friends who happen to be girls that he's going to ask out Diane Court.  They discourage him not to do it and give him all the reasons.  They tell him that they don't want to see him get hurt.  He doesn't want to get discouraged.  He wants to do it and tells them, I want to get hurt!  It was about him taking a chance on love and if he was going down?  He was going down in flames and I love that opening scene.  There's other parts but it was his character's optimism that struck a chord with me.   Here's the fantasy or the wish that I had over the years and it would be after I had an a...

 Despite the fact that I didn't sleep as much as I should, I feel ok.  I got three days to make up for last night.  We had one of the news shows on and when they talked about Judge Alito, I had enough.  Normally I write my postcards and letters while TV is on and I couldn't take it.  I had started to watch the documentary about Dan Rather a few nights ago and finished.  It was great.  I forgot that Andy Cohen had worked for CBS when he got his start.  He's had Dan on his show.  I wish Dan had a show on Netflix. I am hoping my mom gets more sleep today.  She was letting the monster get the best of her last night.  There's some weird stuff going on at the moment.  Her car, or the car he took over is gone but when I got the mail, I could hear people talking, namely her.  I wish she made him disappear.  He hid his car a year ago and the cop that talked to us said that they were going to tow it if he didn't answer the door...

 Watched the Dan Rather documentary on Netflix. It was awesome. I'm way past my bedtime. Just like in the 80s waiting for Letterman to come on. I hope I don't fall asleep during social studies 

 Still horribly behind but seemed to be making some progress?  New day tomorrow.  Everyone will be back.  Busy and I'm ok with it.  There's been one person who's been so helpful to me with my new assignment.  He's such a nice person. A good human.  He's nice to all of us and teaches rather than preaches when you make a mistake.  I have had some tough moments the last few years but I am finding my grove.  "knock on wood" I feel bad when my mom gets upset about the monster because she will obsess about it and I find myself getting frustrated.  When she brings his name up, I'll say I. DON'T. WANT TO TALK ABOUT HIM.  This is what he has done to both of us, we wind up sniping at each other.  Glad that I am not in an office because I'm afraid I'd find him buried in the backyard.  I wouldn't care.  I shouldn't say that.  I do feel like it when things like a circuit breaker being turned off happens.  When you haven'...

As I tried to fumble my way through the day, a lot of my background chatter was about Nikki Haley.  I knew when they would show a news clip of Trump because of silence.  My mom mutes the TV when he speaks.   I've become fond of Tim Miller, who was a former Republican strategist and took over the Bulwark podcast from Charlie Sykes.  He made a good point that Nikki Haley sees what happened with Liz Cheney and Adam Kinzinger and doesn't want the same thing to happen with her career. Who wants to be part of that crowd?  I may not agree with Adam Kinzinger and Liz Cheney on policy issues but my goodness, they both the difference between right and wrong. I've been told to play the game and be like everyone else. I can't do that. I just can't play that game.   It's not an easy road to take when you steer off the path that everyone else is on.  It's horribly lonely and can be hard at times, but it's also kind of liberating that you're your own person...

 I slept ok despite the fact that the monster played with our circuit breaker.  It appears that the car - her car, but he's now taken it over has been gone all night. I happened to look out at 5:30 to see it wasn't here.  My mom, who was up, said she didn't see it last night.  If only it would disappear only with the monster that would be a good good day. I dislike the fact that my mom is awake at this hour.  I said did you sleep at all?  Three hours.  This monster makes her so stressed and that makes me angry.  I was typing a text to our landlord when she broke down in tears and asked if I would contact him.  I said I'm on it.  Do I think we will be perceived as hysterical women?  Yeah.  I tried to present myself with facts on weird things that have happened so he couldn't come back and ask me if I'm paranoid.  Yeah, I am but I have good reason because we live with someone that's broken our trust repeatedly.  For abo...

 I am too tired to let the bully affect my sleep. He is a former football player and have I mentioned I dislike about 95% of football players?  I watched a documentary about those Kelce brothers - Jason and Travis. I like them. The rest?  Not so much. The day the monster screamed ib the hallway he let out some football grunt. I find that crap childish, immature and not very manly.  I want to roll my eyes and throw up when I hear someone say You know he played football as though it were some type of royal title  It wouldn't upset me to watch a game but I would probably make fun of the players for their macho behavior And of course I did not get a response. I kind of don't want to because I think I would get more upset and annoyed. I am tired from my afternoon. It wasn't even the sitting and worrying before my appointment. It was sitting in traffic. It reminded me of when I went for treatment every day. Makes you weary. At least I only have to travel to the dining...

 I really spoke too soon about him. I thought maybe he would keep a low profile because of his legal problems. We discovered the circuit breaker for the air was turned off.  My mom was also de-frosting the freezer.   I fired off of a detailed text to my landlord about how there was a difference with the energy bill when we put a lock on the circuit breaker last summer.  We haven't had it on but we didn't realize that the psycho was turning it off on us.  I did wake up a couple of nights feeling a little warm.   I do not hold my breath on any action being taken.  I am sick of being bullied.  I thought the other night, well, he's quiet and maybe he doesn't want to start any trouble. He's just sick. I don't want to live in the same duplex as him and unfortunately, the bully will win in the long run. He makes me sick.  If the universe is listening, please get this monster out of our lives. 

 Good until next year.  I was actually kind of worried about the scale. I didn't gain.  I think I lost a tiny bit but that is nothing to write home about.  I asked the cyber attack didn't affect the scales?  I'm a little disappointed but I showed up early, had the information I needed and tried to make everyone's day easier.  I have found that just sitting in the waiting room and not playing video games on my phone will help my blood pressure or my nerves.  I had a wonderful view of Lake Michigan.  Really does have a spa vibe.  Totally ok if I get a year reprieve from it.  I got 2 more months before I have my next drama queen meltdown moment and I should be good for the year.  I don't know why I get myself so freaked out.    I had one incident outside of a Whole Foods after seeing one doctor and couldn't stop sobbing.  I have had some bad moments I am not too proud of when it comes to emotions. I went for a walk this ...

 If you looked it up in the dictionary, you would find my picture. As I was thinking about what I should do this morning, I could feel my heart racing and this feeling of panic of what I should do first. How about take it easy?  That would be a start. I heard a lot from people during my medical trials and errors, "Oh, you're so strong and brave."  That's the worst platitude. No, I'm not.  I've been riding the struggle bus for so many years and I feel like the bus is going up in flames on me half the time.   I do what I have to do for survival. And if anything good has happened for me?  There's been a lot of sweat, tears, panic, hard work that's gone into it.  I told the very sweet attorney I worked for to not praise me in any meeting.  I'm going to get the two other assistants mad at me and they'll do something to me, like find a mistake and report me.  She thought it was terrible, you do good work, why shouldn't you get recognized?...

 We warn anyone visiting or staying with us that Precious will try to bust in on you when you use the bathroom for any reason.  There is a side door in my room that's part of our linen closet that will lead to the bathroom that she can use and has used. Sometimes she wants to bust in through the front door and stand there if you open it.  Or she'll want to just come in so she can jump into the bathtub and lick the faucet.  She doesn't do it if you're taking a bath.  If you are taking one or using the shower she will bust in and leave you a present. I don't know if I'd call that Precious.  Maybe Obnoxious.  That might be here middle name.

 I woke up in the middle of the night and felt scared.  Maybe it was the sirens blasting that woke me up. It can be kind of common when you live kitty corner from the fire station.   I think I had a nightmare but I wasn't sure.  I just didn't want to get out of bed. I knew I had to use the bathroom when I have moments like this, I feel a little afraid.  Maybe it's because there's a monster down below.  When I did get up, my hand happened to touch my professional bodyguard - Precious.  Oh, she was just waiting for her 2 am feeding.  Glad she keeps a close eye on me.  Good grief.  I had my alarm set for 6 but someone was standing on the dresser at 5.  I did go back to sleep.  Everyone was happy. I didn't need to take the whole day off, but I figured I'd be less stressed this afternoon.  I have plenty of time.  We earn time every pay period and I keep hitting that 200 hours where I won't earn morn or start losing da...

What a chaotic day.  I'll be glad when everyone in my group is back on Friday.  Pulled in 50 different directions, where to go next. The quiet dogs from yesterday are gone.  As I type this it sounds like they're out my window barking the night away.  Oh well.  It was a nice day yesterday. I got to admit, whoever did the court sketches for this hush money trial is awesome.  It'll be interesting to see how things turn out and yet, kind of worried.  Glad today boosted Cohen's credibility.   And what happened to Rudy Giuliani?  What a mess he's become. When I stopped at my "salon" last year, I was looking for cheaper alternatives for hair color.  My mom got this hair spray to spray on the top where my grey hair shows the most.  I thought just a nice pick up in between hair appointments at the school. Lesson learned.  It was one of my last appointments at the cancer center and I had to use the restroom.  When I washed my h...

 I made the mistake of scrolling on my phone last night and found a horrible article on People about a 10 year welll, how do I put it?  He's no longer here and it was by his choice.  He couldn't take it anymore because of bullies.  Great night time reading, I know.   It horrified my mom what kids did to me when I've told her not too long ago.  She said you should have told us.  We should have moved. I said No, kids bully.  Didn't matter if I lived in South Milwaukee or Greendale or West Allis.  There are bullies everywhere and they seem to find me. If it's not in school, it's been at work, relationships, teachers, the list goes on and on.  I accepted it. I was hit in the face in the sixth grade and came home at lunch with blood all over kind of white clothing. I remember wearing a Milwaukee Brewers shirt and painters pants.  She wanted to fight me and she was actually smaller than me but stronger than me and socked me in the no...