Disorienting Day

 At least I left my Fetterman hoodie in the car when I went for my walk.  Humid day.  I get those weird shoulder thing and under my arm that makes it so sore on days like this.  I just push through it.  Totally sucks.

We did drive through Bayview and I pulled over to get a phone number.  It was a little chaotic with people's driving and it stressed me out more.  I looked up the address and it's a four family and $1225.  Definitely out of our price range and there's a deposit for a cat or dog.  Well I can give them something my cat deposited but hard pass.   When we went to Aldi's, my mom accidentally hit the trunk door on the shopping cart.  Kind of a good excuse to go hide indoors.

When I drove down Oklahoma Avenue, there was a car with a loud engine behind me.  When I pulled out from the stop light, I could see it coming towards me like it was going to tailgate me and I pulled over.  It really picked up speed, it had some weird shark balloon on top of it.  I let a lot of cars pass while I took a moment.  I don't miss driving today.

I happened to glance at the message I had sent Cassie to see if she might have viewed it and it got disappeared. I thought did I lose my mind?  There was a message about encryption and I tried to google what it meant.  It sounds like a security measure. I didn't quite understand it.  My mom thinks I'm blocked. I don't know.  I don't understand social media land.  I sent another message and explained that I thought I sent one last night and was even more apologetic, especially about my mom's card.

I'm hoping it's a security thing and not a blocking thing. I didn't say anything for two weeks and I apologized for not doing that sooner.   We'll see.  

And if it's a blocking thing?  Well, ok.  I guess I'll find out.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Way Past My Bedtime

 I crashed before Reverend Raphael Warnock's speech.  The power of DVR saved me. I watched it this morning right up to the point where I had to sign in.  It was fantastic.   Hillary was great.  My mom was crying.  It meant a lot to her to have Hillary win that election and she was crushed. I was crushed.  She always fan girls over Hillary.  It was hard for me to decide in 2008 do I go with Barack or Hillary?  She gave a phenomenal speech. I had to watch Joe this morning.  No, I didn't cry like I usually did.  I got a little teary eyed when his daughter finished her speech and introduced him.  That nice man made sure his little boys had a dad that came home every night after they lost their mom and baby sister.  He took his oath of office by their bedsides.  He got a second chance with Jill and having a daughter.  He's such a good human.  Yeah, he looks 81.  He lit that stage on fire with a torch....
Read more

The Dark Things

I sometimes wonder about this when I'm in a brooding mood about how I got treated at a low time in my life.  Or lowest. Would people have been relieved if I just died?   Really.  I have thought the answer was yes.  I'm not talking about my family. I am talking about those who made their discomfort known to me.   They could have had some fake ceremony and a moment of silence.  There wouldn't have been a funeral so they could have forgotten about that part.  They would have excelled at pretending to care about my life if I wasn't here. Then, I had to go do something stupid and survive.  How do we deal with that?  My mentor even mentioned to me, well, you know, none of us have dealt with someone being sick.  Oh, should I get a fucking manual for that?  Excuse the F bomb but that was warranted. When I got my schedule for radiation therapy, I had wanted to talk to my manager about it and find out if it was ok.  I had gotte...
Read more

So Here's the Weekend

 I was having a wishful thinking moment last night when I was writing my postcards.  I was wishing for my imaginary friend that has shades of Stephen Colbert mixed in to show up and go for a walk on this humid July night.  We would talk and maybe check out the food trucks that were at the Farmer's Market last night.  Maybe they would be ok.  Maybe they wouldn't.  We would be getting out of the house and just talking about how our week went for both of us. Maybe we would stop at Pick n' Save and get my mom something she asked for.  He would always know how to talk to my mom and he would be someone she's really comfortable around like Charlie.  We would maybe see Charlie mowing the lawn on his usual Friday night task and talk to him. He might have plans with his kids in the morning so we say our good night with a hug or maybe even something else.  No, I'm not going salacious here.  Get your mind out of the gutter.  Maybe we'd see each...
Read more