Just a Little Empathy

 Well someone let me sleep and I thanked her for that with extra food.  Seems kind of grey out today.  I hope it doesn't rain when I walk.  I'll still walk but if it's a tsunami that might be a problem.  I have walked before in light rain and it's kind of nice.  

I felt ok when I went to bed last night. I had a good laugh at my mom making fun of me that I got dumped by Cassie.  Not my first time a friend has ditched me.  Happening since 1974, mom.  I'm not sure what's happening.  I keep saying, Well maybe there's some glitch.  Social media has become such a bizarre thing for me.  I did see she was online on my Facebook messenger and I thought oh, maybe she saw my message.  I checked about 10 minutes later and she was gone.  Is this being ditched?  I'm really not sure.  

Back when I got my rent raised, Cassie was set to send over $5000 to me for moving.  She's offered it before when I've talked about how stressful it was living with the monster down below.  That's nice, but I can't take that money.  If I take the money, I'm paying it back.  At the time I explained there's a housing shortage and first I got to find something.  I got an apology that she felt like a bad friend because she had the money from her father in-law that had passed and he used to give money to the Catholic church.  She felt like she had money that supported pedophiles.  This explanation still makes no sense to me.  I suspect she thinks I might want the money and her husband would tell her no.  

As far as feeling guilty, give the money to survivors of sexual assault or some organization that helps people who were victims of the Catholic church.  She has two daughters.  Help them out.  

I needed empathy from her and I don't think she's very capable of that.  She was going to retire back in February and she did it back in August because she couldn't take it.  She tells everyone that her husband will be picking up the extra slack.  I want to be empathetic about not being able to handle work.  I'm not empathetic about putting the extra responsibility on someone else so you can remodel your condo.  That's where she loses me.  

Before I turned in for the night, my mom did ask if it bothered me and I said no.  I kind of felt like she had been checking out for a long time.  She thought it was kind of cowardly that Cassie hadn't sent me a message in months and is possibly blocking me.  I said that's how she handles her problems.  Shortly before she left the company 12 years ago, there was a complaint to HR about problems going on.  The person who contacted them had a legitimate reason for doing it.  Cassie freaked out about the call and didn't finish her full two weeks.  Everyone suspected she did it.  I did too.  She showed me the form days earlier and when we found out an investigation happened, that was it for her.  Someone who needed to be let go got fired.  It wasn't a good look for her to run out the way she did because it just made everyone think it was her.  I asked her on more than one occasion if it was her and she denied it.  Maybe I'm wrong but I always said I didn't think it was a bad thing.

I also knew when she moved to Door County two years ago that she was going to be retiring soon and probably traveling.  My life was different than hers and now it really is.  Maybe she feels guilty that she's doing better than me.  Everyone does better than me so why feel bad?  Maybe refrain from bragging about her daughter not wanting to live in a state where they don't support women's rights so she's living in a more progressive state.  I'd take a place down the street right now to get away from the monster down below and I'm not a fan of West Allis.   I see our mindsets are really different more so now.  The person that told me years ago in disgust that she didn't sign up to be an assistant is really that same person.

I am afraid I may not be to afford Milwaukee.  I know I can't afford Door County.  I am worried about where I am going to live these days.  Maybe I can live in Corinne's Winnebago with her two dogs in Clark County.  Wonder if she'll notice.  

I love Milwaukee, why does it have to be like this?  There was a time I thought maybe I should move somewhere else.  I do belong here.  I love this crime ridden city.  I'm joking.  I felt like it saved my life.  I am so hoping things change with housing.  This is just a scary time and I know I'm not the only one in this situation.

I will go for my walk and hopefully not get rained on.  

To all the good humans, have a good day.