The Invisible Woman Chronicles

Tonight, I took my mom's rug shampooer back to Whole Foods.  Well to Amazon but Whole Foods takes the returns.  I thought maybe I could go walk the hill.  The weather was really nice today despite the smoke I saw earlier at lunch.  I digress. It was a nice night to walk and day dream or evening dream.  I am kind of enjoying hearing about Liam Neesom and Pamela Anderson getting together.  I also liked seeing a picture of Martin Short and Meryl Streep today.  It was about how nice it is that they're having a second chance at love after being widowers and with pretty age appropriate partners.  Pamela is a little younger but it's not like she's 24.  It was kind of nice to see that.  There's something sweet and warm seeing couples having that Chapter 2. I want Chapter 2.  I would like that second chance.  I don't know where you are love, but please find me.  I earned it and do deserve happiness.   Find me . . . 

I sent my morning message to Corinne and I took a quick look at my notifications on Instagram.  Usually nothing to see there but once again, the algorithm surprised me.   Cassie has returned to social media.  We were only Facebook friends. It said that someone you may now is on Instagram.  I noticed she was on back on Facebook.  No, I'm not excited to see that and I'm actually not her Facebook friend anymore.  Social media really makes people jerks.  I include myself in that statement.  It was wild to see the notification. I knew after the 2016 election, she wanted to go hide underground because she couldn't take Donald Trump.  Well neither can I and here I am.  I wish I had basements to hide in when life got too tough.  Actually a basement has no appeal.  I like my room better. Meanwhile, my mom seemed a little down last night and worried.  The talk of social security privatizing scares her.  Her blood work seem...

I kind of think the Thinker will be ok.  I hope she will.  I don't want her to leave the group.  I have a couple of people in mind but that really is wishful thinking.  It was a quieter day though and I'll take that. This is the paycheck that sucks.  It will go for my car insurance and my debt.  BOOO!!!  Sigh.  Kind of tight jaws between me getting the new phone and getting my registration take care of this month.  I thought maybe it was stupid to trade in my phone but my mom informed me it was good timing because of the tariffs.  That made me feel less stupid.   After this payment I will have paid a little over 20% of my debt.  BOOO!!!  I want it to be 80%.  Yeah.  I kind of missed the credit card this month with paying for the activation fee and some other BS fee.  I also got a bill from some lab for having my thryoid tested.  I could have said I'm just addicted to being fat, no need to test....

I don't think I've had too many nights where I've lost sleep.  I will wake up and be up for an hour before I fall back asleep.  Today was not that day.  I got up shortly before 4 and I have been up since then.  I will probably just go to bed early.   I've had anxiety about the mean girls this week.  Today, I have to work on something in the afternoon like I do every Wednesday afternoon and I have Regina monitoring what I'm doing.  Taking emails out.  She's not letting me know but I know she's there and I'm so tired of it.  I don't want to start a fight or a conversation. I want her to mind her own business.  I want her to also leave the Thinker alone.  I'm kind of angry that we will lose the Thinker because of those two clowns. It's been the story of my life.  Mean girls everywhere.  The Thinker was very aware of Frick and Frack because they became part of her old group.  She said that Frick even made the calmest...

It was kind of a day.  I feel like mean girls is the theme of my week.  I'm not a fan that we're only 2 days in.  Seems like when the managers are away, the mean girls will come out full force.  Never fails. Seems like the Thinker has been subjected to it more than myself.  They're doing what has been done to me and I spent part of my day trying to be encouraging and speak up when the people who need to hear this are made aware.  I shared that I had been down this road as well as the diva and we made our complaints.  The diva made friends with those two but in some weird way it might be a survival tactic. I don't know.  I really hate that the Thinker will move onto another group. I really want her to speak her mind about what is happening.  There's a point where one has to ask When does this stop? Regina has been the bigger problem this time around. I think the lurker is not entirely innocent but their friend is becoming more obnoxious and ab...

I have a feeling the lurker will come off of mute today and try to boss us.  And she'll bring her little friend Regina. If that's the case, I'll go on mute. I don't want to hear it.  All you do is insult and bully people.  If they're on mute, I'm really ok with that.  I don't know what to say anymore when it comes to the group because I might as well be talking to myself. Makes me feel like I'm selling shoes again with the competitive nature.  If that was the case, where's my 25% off discount? My mom had the news on her laptop for most of the day and got tired of it.  Well so did I.  It is tiresome listening to what the grifter in charge is doing.  We got a mean girl running the show and it sucks.  I turned on John Oliver to make her laugh a little. Meanwhile, I got a bill the other day for the labwork done earlier this month.  $17 isn't bad.  It's just add one more to the pile.  I think that kind of made me feel a little blue ...

I had a stressed out day.  No shocker.  Day of frustration and irritation.   I'm not sure what transpired with the Thinker wanting to move.  I don't want her to but I think this is a hopeless situation and now we have the lurker pretending she's in charge of us.  This is getting so old. It's our expectation to cover when someone is out and I wouldn't expect anything tied up in a nice neat bow. I didn't expect the neglect with one area.  I was shocked and surprised nothing was said.   It's the mean girls that are just making me tired. I caught something Regina was trying to do but someone asked her directly. I forgot something and she was going to make me do it.  Oh, she was going to show me.  Did she ever think that I forget things and that maybe I need a team member to help me out?  I want to run away.  I can't stand these mean jerks. I dread our call tomorrow because I have a feeling I'm going to wind up getting mad and ...

I was able to get my headphones charged with my new phone.  Then I had to figure out how to turn off the headphones when I realized that when I turned on the sound, it was coming from my headphones.  Good grief.  One step forward two steps back. I figured out how to turn off the headphones.  I love technology but it hates me. Then I realized how am I going to listen to my audible books in the car when the new charger isn't compatible with what I have?  No, I didn't think get a new car.  I thought I can't be the only one who's run into this problem.  I know they told me not to get stuff from Amazon but for this when it came to chargers, but I did for this for the car.  People said it works.  I get what they were saying about the chargers from Amazon not always being authentic.  For $5 I'm going to go with this solution for now.  I got a gift card somewhere from Target that I can use for stuff like this later.   Here's my te...

My mom asked me if there was a way I could reach out to Ava when I told her that I was kind of missing her last night. I said I don't think she would do social media.  Ava is probably in her 70s and I just don't think that would be her thing. I remembered there was someone I worked with and went to high school with who might know how to contact Ava. I realized this person unfriended me.  No, I'm not upset. I kind of laughed when I realized she wasn't one of my Facebook friends. I went to high school with her and her twin sister.  I don't think I said anything offensive.  I had kind of an iffy relationship with her in school though because she used a friend of mine to go to prom and dumped him shortly before.  I wasn't real friendly with her when she started at Old Line.  I was polite but I wasn't chummy either.  I thought we were past it.  I was closer to her sister in school but I donated when her sister had cancer about five years earlier than m...

It's kind of a wishful thinking moment I had this morning.  Or is it manifesting?  I'm not sure.  I don't know what life has in store for me romantically but if the universe has plans for me?  I have some wishes to go along with it. I thought about this person and what they would be like.  Well they definitely wouldn't have a stupid striped Where's Waldo shirt like Alex Lasry.  Would he have fashion misses?  Yeah and that's ok.  He can tease me about my Fetterman hoodies.  Fashion style is not a requirement.  I kind of like the plaid shirts on a guy. Definitely more grey hair than me would be wonderful.  I'm totally ok with that.  I would have said even years ago grey was more acceptable than long hair.  And well who did I wind up with for years?  A long haired weirdo.  Now I recoil in horror when I see a damn pony tail on a man.  I had a classmate who was a little grey in our senior year.  It looked ni...

I did walk the hill.  Oh my god did I sweat buckets.  I thought because it was earlier in the morning I would be ok. I was.  Just sweaty. I changed things up and went for my walk first.  I wanted to see Alex Lasry's house.  No, I didn't throw rocks at it.  After looking at his Instagram yesterday, I thought his house looked familiar and I saw online that he bought some mansion where I walk.  I don't normally walk on that street but I did this morning.  It's a big mansion.  I saw a nice swing out front and definitely signs that someone has three kids.  It's just beautiful.  Still a weenie.  Maybe not.  I normally don't walk on that street and I remembered why.  The sidewalk is kind of uneven and sometimes, I just don't pay attention.  Most times, I'm good at tripping over my own two feet.   I thought it was before 9:30 before the heat kicks in so I should be ok.  Well I was but damn.  That was ...

I looked at the temperatures on my phone.  Gross for the next two days.  It seems like we get some 70 degree weather. I can take that.  I feel like I may stick to the sidewalk today from how humid it's been lately. Last night I watched an Ed Sullivan documentary on Netflix that was pretty good and I turned on Stephen Colbert's Thursday show so my mom could watch Governor Josh Shapiro.  It's way too early to make any predictions on who would be good for 2028 but he kind of piques my curiosity.  I also like that John Fetterman doesn't care for him so therefore there is something good about Shapiro since Fetterman sucks.  I like the governor of Kentucky as well and Tim Walz.  Right now, I'm hoping President Cankles falls off the planet.  I'm glad he's getting the welcome he deserves in Scotland. I got someone chasing after me because I toasted a bagel this morning and she wants the cream cheese even if she did have it at 3:30 am this morning.  G...

I can probably say the name of the place since I don't think it exists.  In 1994, I got a job working at Old Line Life Insurance Company doing data entry. I basically entered all the information in for the life insurance applications.  It was such a relief and so nice to be there when I first started.  I regretted leaving in late 1996.  Big mistake. I hated that horrible law firm I worked at fresh out of college.  It probably took me a good year to finally find this job.  I felt bad that I would be away from the downtown area but I liked going for walks and I would walk to the mall every day. I also had to turn around and come back since I only got 45 minutes for lunch.  It was easy work and the pay was a little bit better.  I finally had dental.  I could park under the Marquette freeway underpass for $35 a month which wasn't that bad at the time. I could actually drive my car!  That was a luxury!  I wound up getting promoted right ...

I was walking towards CVS on Farwell for my normal Shopkicking stop when I saw someone familiar.  They were pushing a little girl in a stroller.  The man seemed so small to me and well, wearing a stupid shirt.  Reminded me of Where's Waldo?  It was Alex Lasry, the guy who ran for Senate in 2022 and who owns part of the Milwaukee Bucks. I think?  I'm not sure anymore. I knew he came from money and I even voted for him in the primary before he dropped out.  I like and gladly voted for Mandela Barnes in the general election. I didn't want Mandela to leave the lieutenant governor's role.  I liked Alex's energy at the time and thought maybe we need more candidates like him with money in their pockets.  I wasn't sad when he dropped out.  Honestly, I don't know who I would vote for in a primary, but whoever wins, they'll get my vote. When I realized who it was, I smiled and looked at him.  He scowled when he saw me and was answering his daughte...

 I was having a wishful thinking moment last night when I was writing my postcards.  I was wishing for my imaginary friend that has shades of Stephen Colbert mixed in to show up and go for a walk on this humid July night.  We would talk and maybe check out the food trucks that were at the Farmer's Market last night.  Maybe they would be ok.  Maybe they wouldn't.  We would be getting out of the house and just talking about how our week went for both of us. Maybe we would stop at Pick n' Save and get my mom something she asked for.  He would always know how to talk to my mom and he would be someone she's really comfortable around like Charlie.  We would maybe see Charlie mowing the lawn on his usual Friday night task and talk to him. He might have plans with his kids in the morning so we say our good night with a hug or maybe even something else.  No, I'm not going salacious here.  Get your mind out of the gutter.  Maybe we'd see each...

As I promised my mom, I would take her to a couple of thrift stores today and I did.  And she got a stand and a clock.  She also got a fancy shirt from Goodwill.  We went to Habitat for Humanity store over on Highway 100.  I guess they mostly had furniture and she found a stand for Precious to lounge on.  Glad she's thinking of the cat but the price was right and I got a shopping cart.  She said you don't look enthused.  I'm never enthused about taking furniture up our winding stairs and I'm a big wimp.  I managed to get my fingers crushed while I tried to take the stand out of the cart. It was all about mom kind of day.  I took her for blood work and she asked me sheepishly about the thrift stores. I said it's fine with me.  I just look at my phone and play video games.  I'm a 12 year old AARP member.  Not really on the AARP part.  It doesn't bother me. I don't have a problem with thrift stores.  I'm not that shopper...

I should be getting my mom up shortly. I heard her alarm.  She needs to get blood work done before her next appointment next week Friday.  I'm not doing it tomorrow with her but I will get her up.  It's ok to rest.  Just not all day.  I had been searching maybe one month deals with Sling.  It's possible we could do it for a month and then cancel if we sign in under her name for $23.  Part of me would like to see some of CNN's reporting on this whole Epstein scandal.  I know too much news is bad news.   I called my insurance agent about changing insurance.  They can't do anything until early September and find me the best rate.  Oh, yay, more waiting.   Waiting.  It's all I ever do. Sigh. 

That seems to be the theme of my thoughts this week.  The spoiled and rotten get ahead and well I'm just not. I found out that I could get headphones as part of my health and wellness account. I thought that would be a nice alternative to my air pods. I sound spoiled don't I?  I got the air pods on sale, with some gift cards from my phone apps, work and I believe my sister gave me a Target gift card for my birthday that year so I wound up paying about $18 for them.  I got the headphones on sale from Target a couple of weeks ago and I figured once I sat down, it would be easy to set up. Yes and no.  Easy to set up but the problem that I have is my iPhone is 100 years old in iPhone years.  It's from 2021.  I was upgrading every 2 years but I was fine when I "officially paid it off" in 2023 and liked having a lower monthly payment.  Is it a big deal that my payment would be 27 dollars more?  No, not really.  I have all these "ifs" right now betw...

I did not have South Park on my bingo card.  OMG that was a wild episode.  I hate to admit that I watched it with my mom because of the end and it was AI, but I never saw her laugh so hard.  It was a salacious episode but wow, it was right up there with Jon Stewart's GFY song on Monday.  Thank you Trey & Matt. A day off from the work insanity.  I really hope the Thinker stays with us.  She was familiar with Frick and Frack.  They have that big of a reputation?  They were part of the same group as the Thinker's old group and when they had to help Frick and Frack, they couldn't have been ruder.  Sounds about right. For the life of me, I don't know how Lois showed up on my Instagram feed as people you may know.  What algorithm did I get on?  I looked at it and through her pictures. People really show you what jerks they are on social media.  Lois is a jerk.  Her kids seem like jerks too.  Everything is for show....

So about 8 years ago, we got a new attorney who started.  Frick's much hated attorney got promoted so they had to find a replacement.  And by hated, they mutually hated each other.  Anyway, Frick thought she would get the new attorney that they hired and we even looked her up on her Linkedin page.  Pretty blonde with black rimmed glasses.  Frick thought finally, she gets the new person.  She hated her other attorney.  Well when someone expects you to show up for work everyday, I guess that makes them an awful person.  I digress. So Frick didn't get Lila.  I got assigned to Lila.  We received an email that there were going to be changes and I was assigned to two new attorneys.  Melvin wasn't new but Lila was.  Frick was assigned to one of my current attorneys, Holly and another attorney.  Frick was mad.  Lois was passive aggressive with me.  I wasn't sure how I felt about the whole thing and I didn't understand wh...

I really didn't think watching Stephen Colbert and then Jon Stewart would give me such life.  I think it cheered up my mom when I replayed it for her last night.  We might have felt a glimmer of hope.  I'll be watching for Jimmy Kimmel's monologues when he comes back. My mom just became horribly depressed when the mention of the Kennedy Center being changed to Melania's name was brought up.  I turned off MSNBC on her computer and I said it upsets me that it affects you mentally.  I have to ignore the news alerts because it affects me.  I know we can't ignore it but we have to find something to get us through it.  I did turn on Lawrence O'Donnell for her because he is a more calming presence for us.  We needed comedy last night and we got it.  Hulu and Netflix please bring Stephen Colbert to your streaming services.  Many of us still need him. I felt disgusted by my group yesterday and their apathy.  I am used to it but I'm just over...

I just felt anger last night on my walk.  I had signed off and the Thinker was fed up with our group and really wants to be back with her old group.  She will probably ask for it on Friday.  I don't blame her.  I get really like less than 1% help so I know.  We have someone who avoids the hard stuff and that just really did The Thinker in.   I wish I could avoid the hard stuff.  You have cancer.  No. I don't want to deal with the hard stuff.  Let someone else take it.  It's maddening and it's frustrating. I was angry that if the Thinker gets moved, there goes what little chance I had for help.  She really didn't have the time with her own daily expectations and she felt for me.  I will miss chatting with her.  I just really don't blame her.  I'm upset on her behalf. I thought of Cassie and the mentor having discussions about my health when I got my diagnosis.  They really treated me like such a sad puppy whe...

I see more rabbits since the monster left.  I see a baby rabbit a lot when I leave for a walk and I can practically walk right up to it before it runs.  It's like they knew the devil of the backyard left.  I hope there's no more fly sightings today.  I hate using Zevo and I'm afraid I may have to buy more this week. I started watching The Pitt on HBO last night.  I have kind of strayed from medical shows for well, obvious reasons.  I watched ER when it came out and when my dad died I stopped.  I watched Grey's Anatomy for awhile and I stopped because well, their storylines were lame.  Sex with a ghost?  Sure.  That happens all the time.  I watched Nurse Jackie because it was a good show and it ended when I was recovering from surgery so it didn't bother me. I tried watching it again on Netflix and I got a little grossed out but I was amused when Jackie's character stuck something in a guy's bicycle tire when he told her off.  I...

I didn't want to add to my last post because well, Harold is ick. It's a really horrible thing that I traveled four times and invested way too much money and time on someone that wound up finally kicking me to the curb when they found out that I survived my cancer surgery. I was strung along for years and told things like You're such a good person.  You have a pure heart.  It was words.  It was really nothing. Getting dumped at my lowest point was probably the best gift I could have gotten.  That sounds crazy doesn't it?     I never felt good enough. I apologized.  I apologized a lot.  I sold myself short.  I also had to stop with the jokes and the silly things I would do because it would offend him or I would catch him rolling his eyes when I spoke. I never want to apologize for who I am. I am silly and lighthearted at times.  I am good enough.  I dealt with something pretty horrible the last 10 years and that should be respec...

You can get a wish or two when you've gone through a health situation, can't you? I know I wish for love and that there's someone who will love and say, you're enough. Obviously, I would like to start off as friends and be comfortable with that person.  I don't want what I had with the few relationships I had.  Start off as a high and get yanked down and crushed.  I would like a slow burn. I would like to actually go on a date.  With this person.  It doesn't have to be going out to eat. It could be going to a movie or going to an event.  It definitely wouldn't be at Pizza Hut.  It wouldn't be dramatic and over the top on the romance.  It would be really nice and comfortable.  It would just be nice to be around someone who would open a door for me.  Take my hand unexpectedly and hold it.  Kind of surprise me with that kiss.  It would be a kiss I knew was coming at some point and when that happens, it would be a really nice surpr...

Not sure how to get these dead flies off of the window outside.  I had to spray Zevo earlier and it's in that spot where it's on the outside but it's kind of sticking on the sill.  Gross.  I really hope this is the last of them.  I blame the monster for this.  This lawn was in such bad shape that everything underground is up and about.  I'm not sure how this all works but I blame the monster.  The Great Fava said he would resod it.  Well Charlie mowed the lawn the first day after the sale closed and every week diligently since then, even before they officially moved in.  He also takes care of the weeds and any other trimming needs to be done. I don't think the Great Fava did as good a job as Charlie did. I confessed to my mom that when I broke down about the West Milwaukee duplex being taken when we started looking, I was seriously afraid of where we would wind up. I thought there's nothing out there and now we do see more rentals and some of...

 Well no hill for me today.  It looked like there was a second day of the Blue Angels and some water show going on.  I saw the tents as I drove past but I thought well, I'll take a look and see what's happening. I was hoping to see something.  Instead, I saw one guy give me a dirty look who was grilling out for his family after I crossed the street. I didn't want his food.  Sorry, guy.  I could see a big ship in the water and was wondering what type of ship it was.  Was it a Navy boat?  The Love Boat?  I turned around after I got a look and just skipped the hill. I continued my walk though.  I just walked up and down each street until I got my 10,000 steps in.  One guy walked past me fast and said hello to me that caught my attention.  I said hello back but he was hurrying past and got in a big red truck.  Kind of thought MAGA when I saw it but I know.  Not everyone that drives a big red truck is a MAGA moron.  S...

I really didn't get much of a chance to walk yesterday.  I don't get to my spot on the east side until 10 on Saturdays it seems and when I did, it became a downpour.  I made it like a block and walked back.  I didn't get soaked but wet enough.  Not very romantic and I didn't see anyone with an umbrella for me.  It wasn't a cool rain.  Still felt sticky.   I noticed that something was going on at the lake when I pulled up. I didn't think I would get to walk the hill because I saw all the tents but I could see these airplanes flying overhead so I'm assuming there was an air show. I would have watched for a little bit and went on my merry way.  No, mother nature decided to stop me from doing that.  It seemed like once I got out of  Whole Foods, it stopped.  Well too late for me.  I headed home. I listened to Lawrence O'Donnell's show from Friday night talking about the Epstein list.  I think I am officially creeped out b...