The Job I shouldn't have walked away from

I can probably say the name of the place since I don't think it exists.  In 1994, I got a job working at Old Line Life Insurance Company doing data entry. I basically entered all the information in for the life insurance applications.  It was such a relief and so nice to be there when I first started.  I regretted leaving in late 1996.  Big mistake.

I hated that horrible law firm I worked at fresh out of college.  It probably took me a good year to finally find this job.  I felt bad that I would be away from the downtown area but I liked going for walks and I would walk to the mall every day. I also had to turn around and come back since I only got 45 minutes for lunch.  It was easy work and the pay was a little bit better.  I finally had dental.  I could park under the Marquette freeway underpass for $35 a month which wasn't that bad at the time. I could actually drive my car!  That was a luxury! 

I wound up getting promoted right away to their editing department. I was a little nervous about jumping into something else so soon but it was alright.  I didn't care for my manager who had a body odor issue. I wasn't sure if it was me but I would find out later that we all hated how Ramona smelled.  She could be a little curt with me at times but then there were times she was pretty understanding. 

I bonded with some of the women in our group.  There was one in particular who took a shine to me.  Her name was Ava.  Ava was about 20 years older and reminded me of Gladys Knight.  She was a tiny woman with a hearty laugh and loved to banter with me.  We had fun and the rest of the women were decent to be around.  Go figure! 

We would go to lunch on the Marquette campus every Wednesday at a burger place and we had fun.  Initially.  Then it seemed like things got bad.  Ava seemed to get difficult with some of us and it did hurt my feelings.  I didn't feel as close with the women.  There was maybe two that were problematic.

Martha.  Martha was from California and she could really say some mean things.  The first time I teased Martha, she asked me if I was married and I said no.  She said Oh.  That explains a lot.  Martha wound up getting divorced years later, but at the time, if you weren't married, you weren't a happy person.  We ignored some of Martha's comments and considered her part of the group.  We were there for her as a group when she basically had to have an abortion because her baby had died at six months.  We welcomed her mom when we met up with Martha for a dinner to see how she was doing and ease her back into the work world.  We were a sisterhood at the time.

Between Martha's rude comments to me, our lunches becoming more and more dysfunctional, I wanted to leave the company.  It wasn't because of anyone in particular.  It was out of boredom.  I wanted to get paid more.  I felt stuck and it seemed like Ava and I weren't so close.  

I found a job at a bank downtown that was set on hiring me.  I had to come to their offices to take a drug test after we had our Christmas party at the Marquette campus when it looked like I was about to get hired.  I felt guilty for leaving early.  I was having enjoying everyone's company at the lunch and we were having good laughs.  Within a few days, I got my final offer from the bank and I accepted it.

I didn't want to leave.  I didn't want to leave at Christmas time but I felt like I wasn't going to go anywhere.  People were leaving our group for other departments and there was talk that our jobs could be eliminated at some point.  It didn't seem like I had a choice.  They gave me such a nice farewell too and it made me want to say I changed my mind!

I couldn't do that.  I left and started at a bank that didn't train me and I lasted two months.  I had a job offer from somewhere else.  It was actually a second interview and they wanted me to come work with them. I wanted to go back home to Old Line Life but I couldn't.  I just couldn't.  I wound up working at the next place for 15 months.

There was a point where I did try to apply for job openings and I never got a call.  I found out from a woman who worked with me at this small benefits firm that she worked there and said you get blacklisted by human resources if you say that you're leaving for more money.  I screwed myself because that was the reason I gave them in my exit interview. I really didn't have any complaints about the place.

I still kept in touch with Ava and most of the crew.  Martha had gone back to California with her husband and the daughter she did wind up having a year after her abortion.  I would meet up with Ava and some of the others at Prime Quarter where we would cook our own steak.  We would have a nice dinner, laugh and promise to do it again in the near future.  They encouraged me to keep trying to apply at Old Line Life after I would tell them that I was at another job and was still unhappy.  I felt so embarrassed but they understood.

I wound up taking a job sort of near downtown but not really after the benefits firm.  That was an awful place.  By that time, Old Line Life actually moved their office to a different location and their human resources person was gone. I reapplied again and got a call.

They wanted me to interview for a junior underwriter.  I still don't know what it is but basically you're the temu underwriter.  I thought wow.  That sounds great.  When I got there, they thought I would be a better fit for a case manager.  Wait?  What happened to the junior underwriter?  Case manager wasn't bad, but it was a step below the junior underwriter.  However, it was a step above what I was doing.  I interviewed with someone who knew me when I worked there.  She was the manager of all the case managers and I just had a feeling she was going to pass on me.  We got a long, but I could tell she was uncomfortable about me coming back.

I got another call from human resources.  Luckily, it was on the answering machine.  They wanted me to interview for my old job.  My old job had changed somewhat.  It was a combination of editing and submitting applications.  They said that they could set something up with that manager.

I left a voicemail and said no.

I'm about to say something that makes me sound entitled and rude.  I didn't go to college to submit life insurance applications all damn day.  This whole situation pissed me off and I felt degraded.

I graduated during a recession and I took what I could to get a job.  I didn't expect to be the top of the food chain and I worked with a lot of people at Old Line Life who called my job degrading and said that they didn't go to school to do my work.  My feeling was that I did my time, why am I feeling like I'm going backwards??

I talked to one of the women about it and she understood.  She said the pay might have been better than I expected.  I took the whole situation is that you can't go home again.  That was on me for leaving and this is what I got in return.  It was just enough when they came up with another job for me that basically put me back at square one. 

I had missed people like Ava though.  I did get asked by my first manager at my present job about any job I regret leaving and I mentioned Old Line. I said there was good friendships and I left out of boredom.  I could have made the situation better.  

Ava and some of the ladies were there for me when my dad died.  It seemed like maybe 2 or 3 years after that, we lost touch for good and that still kind of breaks my heart.  I missed those ladies despite our ups and downs.  They showed up when I needed them.

I had called Ava the day of my dad's surgery and I admitted I was scared.  She said she'd pray for me and ask some of the others too.  We talked a couple of days after he died and she talked to my mom.  Ava is a good person and I miss her.

Old Line Life eventually became AIG and I know their offices moved to Wauwatosa and then  I think they shut down.  I knew at some point I would have been out of a job but maybe some of those friendships would still be here.  

A job is what you make of it and I hated that I felt like I was getting degraded when they wanted to put me back in my old spot.  Corporations can really be bruising to our egos.  I was really happy with the work that I did for Old Line Life and the people there were good people. We had a few rude ones but nothing in comparison to what I experienced over the years.  

Because I feel a little shaky about driving on the freeway when I go for my walks, I exit off downtown where our old office used to be.  Marquette bought it out on the corner of 11th and Wisconsin.  

I think that's one place where I would have actually wanted to come into the office after Covid got better.  That says a lot!