Being deserving

I didn't want to add to my last post because well, Harold is ick.

It's a really horrible thing that I traveled four times and invested way too much money and time on someone that wound up finally kicking me to the curb when they found out that I survived my cancer surgery.

I was strung along for years and told things like You're such a good person.  You have a pure heart.  It was words.  It was really nothing.

Getting dumped at my lowest point was probably the best gift I could have gotten.  That sounds crazy doesn't it?    

I never felt good enough. I apologized.  I apologized a lot.  I sold myself short.  I also had to stop with the jokes and the silly things I would do because it would offend him or I would catch him rolling his eyes when I spoke.

I never want to apologize for who I am. I am silly and lighthearted at times.  I am good enough.  I dealt with something pretty horrible the last 10 years and that should be respected by someone.  

Being alone really sucks but being with someone that makes you feel alone is so awful. 

I still remember the day when I finally felt good after all that had happened when it finally ended.  The sun seemed a little brighter.  I felt a little silly.  I felt ok.  .

We all deserve a good love that respects us and I would feel so lucky if I was ever blessed with it.  It's safe to say that I earned it.