The Invisible Woman Chronicles

 I am looking forward to August. I know there will be hot days, but I know there's a chance we can get some temperatures dropping.  Wishful thinking, I know.  At least it's one month closer to coolness.  It doesn't feel like the central air is working as good as it should.  I don't need anything else malfunctioning. I got through my mid-year just fine and I didn't bring up the lurker.  Some of our criteria and goals involve being part of a group average and because the lurker cheats on her metrics and will stay online at all hours of the night, her numbers are higher.  How do I know about the late nights?  I have seen emails at 8 or 9 at night.  I know somehow she's getting things done in a dishonest manner and even if I had all the receipts and screen shots laid out to prove what I know, I think there would be an excuse.  If it affects me financially with this goal, I will not be a happy camper come next year.  I may have to recons...

 I have a mid year assessment today.  I have no idea how that will go.  I'm afraid the lurker will pop up in the conversation and I'm kind of at loss for words on what I want to do.  I have moments where I can't take it and I have moments where nope.  I was here first.  Go away.  Leave me alone. I watched Kamala Harris' rally in Atlanta.  Every night for the most part I'm either working on postcards or letters to voters.  I was kind of struggling with letters and normally I maybe get through five when it's me writing from the heart.  I got through 15 of them last night.  It wasn't that I couldn't do it with Joe as our candidate.  It just felt like an uphill battle every time I saw the news and saw that orange goon getting his way again.  Now I feel a sense of joy when I write these letters and can throw out words about voting will bring us hope for a better tomorrow.  I feel a little invigorated.  I can't wait fo...

 I found out that I might have my car back by Friday.  They are hoping to get the passenger mirror by Thursday and can get it installed.  I'll take that even if it doesn't arrive, I trust that they'll contact the rental company and make sure I can keep the rental car.  Even if I hate the car.  I'll have one. It's hard to find a place you can trust when it comes to car issues.  Like the vet, I messed up and went somewhere else and paid for it dearly when I got kind of frustrated with the place I dealt with for years.  I went back.  I got my previous Toyota because someone told me that Andrews treated women decently.  I was trying to get a new lease and I had to go at it alone.  My dad normally sat there just as reinforcement when I would talk to the car people and look scary.  I've brought my mom because well she's good at telling people they're full of garbage when they start spewing high numbers.  We all need a back up.  ...

 I even drove a U Haul truck.  Badly.  At least I didn't hit anyone.   Shortly after my dad died in late October 1998, I needed to find a new job that paid better.  I got hired at an insurance brokerage firm in downtown Milwaukee like 5 weeks later.  I was a word processing specialist.  Yeah.  Weird title.  I was going to be working with another person handling all the typing assignments and doing some dictation.   I thought I was going to be working with another woman because human resources mentioned how much I would like Cloris.  Cloris was a gay man.  Interesting name choice.  His first name was William but he seemed so funny and nice.  I needed to be around someone who was fun. We did have fun initially.  I really liked Cloris.  Back then, there was no Tinder so he was always looking for dates on the personals.  He had actually broken up with someone I worked with a few years earlier. I k...

 I don't know why but I thought maybe, just maybe I could look up my claim number on the insurance company website.  I didn't think I could but I thought I'd try. Got a surprise.  The insurance company I have been with for my renters and auto will not be handling any personal lines auto after the end of 2025. I got time.  I'm sure me getting hit by a semi will make me look attractive to all the insurance companies and I'll get a discount. I'll be sending a rather anxious email to the agent's office because even though I have time?  I'm freaking my freak now.  It's a quiet freak, but I'm freaking. I'm sure I'll be at 2 or 3 to have more quiet freaks as I stare at the ceiling seeing my pulse can explode.

 I'm ready for bed.  I'll probably be up past my bedtime looking for funny news stories on my phone.  Ok, maybe not.  I am loving the "weird" stories.   Tonight, I sent about 5600 text messages to voters in Wisconsin to remind them of the primary on August 13th.  Some of the responses I got were actually quite nice.  I don't think I've had a lot of that since I started doing it in late 2022. The status of my toy car is unknown but the auto body shop told me that they will take care of the rental car issue.  They will get an extension to Friday for now  They are waiting on the door handle and my mirror that they ordered two weeks ago.  Ok, it's something.  I was hoping to hear back from them but maybe tomorrow will be a new day. I am really liking that feisty Tim Walz.  He's like a fun uncle.  I can't make my mind up.  I would love to see Walz debate JD Vance and ask if he got banned from Ikea.   I actua...

 I'm not hopeful, just hoping.  I am hoping I hear something today about my car or I will have to make a phone call tomorrow and me, being the anti-social freak that I am can be challenging.  Making appointments online or asking questions in an email is way easier.  It'll be fine though.  It's been almost 3 weeks.  If I need to ask the insurance company for more time for the rental, then egads, another phone call.  I don't want to do that but I will. I am hoping the lurker doesn't lurk on me.  I'm tired of their antics.  If you spend your time focusing on all the mistakes that everyone else makes, what are you hiding?  That's how I feel about the lurker.  They don't provide feedback.  They make sure other people are looked at because they're doing something wrong. It appears that there is a new lawn mower in the garage.  We'll see if it gets used. If I knew how to use a weed wacker, I would take out the weeds that are hitt...

 I have had the news on all day.  MSNBC all day.  I did not get stressed out once.  Now my big thing is Who's going to be the vice presidential pick?  Meanwhile my mom is on the phone with my cousin yelling about Angelina Jolie.  Want to make my mom go off on a rant?  Bring up Angelina Jolie and digital coupons.   I'm excited for a vice presidential pick. I like Tim Walz, the governor from Minnesota after he called the Republicans "weird."  Well JD Vance takes it to a whole new level of weird.  I think Walz is adorable and would make a great pick. Then there's Andy Beshear, the great governor of Kentucky. He's got a nice soft spoken demeanor that would be a great compliment for Kamala's style. Then you got Mayor Pete.  I would love to see Chasten and Doug waving to their spouses for the State of the Union speech. I love Doug.  He's got his wife's back. I think he's fantastic.   Then there's Mark Kelly.  I wo...

 I have two eyebrows and I'm pretty happy.  It wasn't as bad as I make my eyebrows out.  I like that I got a lot of material to work with when it comes to a brow but geezus on the maintenance part.  I know during Covid I drew blood trying to clean mine up.  I can do other parts of me with a dermaplanning tool or special razors in my own Grey Gardens spa, but the brows need a second set of eyes or I'll be looking like I had an industrial accident with them.   I didn't see too many biker dudes in the downtown area when I finished.  I walked over to Wisconsin Avenue to see what was new.  It's been a long time and I knew there was a Kohls store that opened up last fall. I was underwhelmed by the store. I think it's nice that they had the store but I thought there were going to be other levels.  It just looked bland like TJ Maxx. I never understood the appeal of TJ Maxx.  That's a garbage store.   My first job out of college wa...

 I was trying to watch something other then the news last night and my mom kept calling me over to look at a place she would find for a rental and I thought maybe I should go to bed.  It was a little bit before 10.  No offense to her but I thought maybe I just need sleep and forget that the housing situation is a nightmare. This place looks like a palace in comparison to what we see online.  She showed me a place in Greendale that we had looked at years ago that actually seemed nice.  It was maybe too small for us at the time but considering we keep having to downsize and we have a psycho downstairs, this had appeal.  I dislike that I look up the realtor's name online and find the reviews.  I am not trying to find something bad but I need to find out the reality because I don't want us moving into a nightmare.  There were problems with a bed bug infestation, mold, roaches.  Sigh.  Why?  Why do realtors or property owners let people ...

 The guy at Enterprise acted like I was getting such a sweet ride when he showed me the Elantra I've been driving the last 2 weeks.  It's ok. I miss my toy car.  It's a bigger vehicle and I have trouble getting it in the garage because someone!  ie the monster has a ton of garbage sitting on his side that kind of spills over.  It would be no shame if I ran over any of it but I don't need any problems from him and I don't need to damage another car because I hit a Pink Panther poster.  What is he doing with that?   I finally found an appointment to get my eyebrows separated into two.  They're not bad, just be nice to get it taken care of.  It'll be nice to lie on a table for 7 minutes and forget that I got a train wreck of a life going on.  It's the small things that count, I guess. Ugh. I know people are surprised at how calm I am when I talk about the semi incident.  I'm pushing my feelings of anxiety in a deep hole.  I w...

 I was ready to throw out all the postcards I had in the garbage and give up on the election.  Well I did throw some.  I did order more.  Sorry Ohio.  I blame JD Vance. I don't think I can get the whole internet thing about JD Vance and the couch out of my head.  Corinne joked JD is probably banned from IKEA. I got to find a post office to mail out Charlotte's birthday gift.  I got her a book about the Crayons go to school.  She loves crayons and she's going to kindergarten next month.  I got some gift cards from Target because she loves Target so she buy herself a snazzy outfit or a toy.  I found a kitty cat unicorn at CVS that I got her and included it.  She loves her kitty cats.  She loves her unicorns.  Who doesn't love a little stuffed animal to get you through the day?  I got a toy tiger that yells at me and demands to be fed.  She lets me snuggle her.  Charlotte has three cats at home so always a safe...

 I'd like to say Woo Hoo it's Friday but I don't know what my emails will say about that.  The week is just about over though and that's a good thing.  How today goes?  I will proceed with caution.  And hope no lurkers are involved in my day. I had someone from high school reach out to me in a message and I felt kind of skeptical of her message.  I'm sure she's an ok person, but when it came to my school, I went to a different school than she did.  I had tried to get together with people I went to school who I thought had probably changed from the kids that I had remembered only to find out that no, they hadn't changed.  Some have but it's a few.  I felt kind of wary, considering who she associates with and I dislike that I have skepticism like that.  I don't know what I'll do.  I find out when I open my heart to the wrong friend, I have been made fun of or found out that I had gotten trashed behind my back.  Does my skepticism...

 Well good for another year.  And then, I guess after next year, I'm done.  Kind of weird.  I feel ok about it. I felt bad saying that I couldn't afford an MRI.  I am not a "no" for it.  I really can't afford it.  I mentioned the semi incident and now insurance is going up in October plus I think I got to cough up the $250 when my car is done.  I explained my landlord raised our rent $250 a month last year. Part of me wished I would have done it last year.  I was burnt out from medical and such an emotional mess. I wanted everyone to leave me alone.  I thought maybe this year was a possibility despite my NO WAY postings that I know there are plenty of, but I can't.  One alternative that got mentioned sounded better but it would be $500 out of pocket.  That sounded ideal.  More money out of my pocket isn't ideal.  Sigh. And for what reason?  My landlord and his wife started a clothing line which I think is markete...

 That's probably a win for me if I feel that way.  I know about the anxious part.  Any doctor appointment makes me anxious, like what are they going to find?  Do they see something I don't see?  Then it's this sense of relief when it's all good and you walk out the door.  Here's hoping I feel that way.   I read a friend's story on Facebook about getting into a horrible accident with a rental car.  Not her fault.  She got hit by a truck with a boat attached.  Glass broken.  She's ok but she posted pictures of her shoulder banged up.  I told my mom I wasn't at fault and that semi driver got away with it.  Now I'm paying $250 for my deductible and getting punished with a higher premium starting in a couple of months.  My mom wants to talk to our neighbor about who that tow truck driver is and say something. I don't want her to do that. I want to forget that it happened.   Last night the monster showed up o...

 I have had a lifetime of backstabbing women step on me to make themselves look good. I have tried to stick up for myself and get gaslit where I was made out to be the problem.  Happened with Betsy.  She would ruin to my manager's office with the door closed and not make eye contact with me when she came out and then I would get an email about something I forgot to do. When I had my show down with Betsy, I had to say I sit across from you, Why can't you tell me these things?  Why can't you talk to me?  I have tried endlessly to try to work things out.  Then I would hear her say she's afraid of me. No, she wasn't afraid of me.  She was a coward and probably still is.  She's the perfect example of what I've dealt with all of my working life.  Go point out something to make yourself look better.  How pathetic.  Anyone ever think that maybe if I do something good that I might need a break?  That maybe it would help me if I got a co...

 I am still upset about what happened in the alley last night with the tow truck barreling towards me.  It was like something out of a bad movie with a truck trying to run the car off the road.  I could see on the camera that the tow truck barely missed me.   I don't want to drive. I will.  I am afraid to drive between the semi and what that person did to me last night.  That was horrible.  I got to pay 25% more each month for my insurance because someone hit my car.  I now have raised my anxiety about 25% and I am more tearful.  That's not fair.  I'm not ok with this. Speaking of anxiety, I felt my heart racing and the sweat pouring when I went for my walk. It was anxiety and I take something for anxiety and for anyone who judges me?  Two words.  F U.  I didn't want to take anything. I fight hard not to reach and take something to help me. I will take these calm gummies, try to breathe.  I will try anything to c...

 I realized I'm getting the cartoon grey streak going on with my hair. I got an appointment in a couple of weeks.  Not a big deal.  I thought between my one eyebrow and grey streak, I'll be rocking a cartoon villain look when I hit my medical appointment.  I'm leaving the John Fetterman hoodie home though. I will make more of an effort to look like a human being instead of a human disaster.  I feel like a wreck. I never used to take the whole day off for a medical appointment.  I have enough time and after dealing with Frick taking off because she felt "snarfy" I figure it's ok if I take the day to breathe, get nervous, freak out and then walk out.  Then melt down.  And then be ok because I got a cake pop from Starbucks.   I felt like I had to show up and prove that I was a normal person.  Well, the ship sailed in the first grade so what I was trying to prove by making a point of hustling like I did initially with all my medical?...

 Seemed like a manic day.  I like parking in a garage, but I dislike it when another vehicle can't seem to make up their mind when it comes to moving out of the way.  I started to come down the alley and I didn't realize that the tow truck that was parked towards our garage was parked there.  I thought I give up and I'm going to back out.  Well, this person got in the tow truck and came charging towards me.  This is a rental car.  This is not my car and excuse me for saying this - I fucking panicked. I had to blow the horn to say slow down.  Well we got to the point where the truck drove up on an edge and went around me. What is wrong with everyone?  I think I need to get out of the house more and then this happens?  So many times I dealt with alley bullies when I would leave in the morning. I would pull out and someone would come zipping down the alley and I would have to pull back in.   I was going to make an appointment at t...

 I did cry today, but kind of a happy cry. Is it bad to say I already ordered a Harris 46 T-shirt?  It was on Etsy and it's not like I bought another sweatshirt that would make people think I worked for Senator Fetterman. It was watching Kamala's husband that got me started, talking about Joe and seeing Kamala's speech.  I'm with Joy Reid.  Keep laughing, Kamala.  Her laugh is a joyful moment in a world of uncertainty.  We need her.  I'm kind of leaning on Governor Andy Beshear as a running mate after listening to him talk about JD Vance.   I'm happy to hear that Joe will be campaigning.  Kind of felt like he had died.  It's like please don't go away, Joe.  Take a nap and come visit, please.  He can still beat Trump. He just needs a good night's sleep. I had high hopes for that debate.  In 2020, he came out like Hey!  Here I am.  I did see a man who had gotten older.  A man who was tired.  He earns...

 Corinne had sent me a message last night that about $46.7 million had been raised by Act Blue for the Democrats.  That gave me hope. I think it was about $50 million.  Wow.  That's amazing. I watched Governor Beshear speak on Morning Joe this morning. I really like him as a Vice Presidential pick. I know I don't pick and we all don't know if someone will challenge Kamala but I'm kind of thinking that's going to be a NO.  I think Governor Beshear would be able to take on JD Vance in a debate.   Someone this morning said that Joe Biden is the person that listens to the quiet people.  Yeah.  He does.  He sees the people that nobody sees or gets forgotten about. I hope he'll be able to campaign for Kamala.  We still need to see him even if he's going to retire and have a nice life with Dr. Jill.   As far as my day goes, well, we're doing something where we all take turns as being a group leader.  I have no interest in it...

 I stand corrected.  It was page 55 of Promise Me Dad that got to me when I read it for the first time.  As Vice President, Joe had been asked to attend a funeral for some police officers in New York and he was talking to a widow.   Here's the passage -  The last thing I did before we left the bedroom was to give her my private phone number.  "Right now, you know, everyone is going to be there for you," I explained.  "Everyone will surround you with love and you'll be busy and have things to keep your mind off the worst."  And then in six weeks, or maybe twelve weeks, everybody else's life is going to start to get back to normal.  But your life isn't going to be normal again.  As a matter of fact, as you probably understand already, it's going to get harder for you.  And after a while you're going to start to feel guilty because you're going to be going to the same people constantly for help, or just to talk.  And as their...

 The first woman President.  I like that idea.  The first woman of color in leadership. I love that.   I really like the idea that the TV attention is off of that freak with the Kotex pad on his ear.  He's got to be fuming. The prosecutor and the felon.  I'll be popping the popcorn for that debate. I wish Joe would have run in 2016.  We wouldn't have had this mess.  Maybe Trump would have flown off to Mar-A-Lardo. I like Hillary Clinton. She would have been a fantastic President.  The Clintons had baggage and that's why Barack Obama had appeal for me in 2008.  It wasn't because she was a woman.  I get so puzzled with the Well, I don't like her.  You're not voting for Prom Queen.  You like Mr. Grab them by the Pussy?  Um, ok.  That doesn't make sense. Joe Biden will be remembered for being a good man.  He's the President of Empathy and of our Hearts for those who voted for him and supported him. Presiden...

 I kind of expected that we would get an announcement that our President would not run for re-election and would step down.  I thought it would be this week. I cried. I cried hard.  It meant a lot when Joe won in 2020.  He made a difference.  He's a good human and my heart broke for him with the news of people wanting him to step down. I could see it too.  I feel like there were some knives being pointed at him and that makes it worse.  He fought the bully and someone should come in and finish the job. I think what a better way for a prosecutor to take on a felon.  It's a sad day but it's a day where there will be something new on the horizon. I heard from Corinne who's trolling people on Twitter or X that Trump donated to Kamala Harris' campaign when she ran for attorney general in California.  God bless her.  That made me smile.   I love the fact that it took the spotlight off of Trump and the Kotex on his ear.  I love h...

 I hope I can.  It definitely piled up on me last night in my head.  I did flip on the news for a little bit for my mom and my own curiosity.  I am now trying to accept that we may have a brokered convention next month or is it an open convention?  I just wish everyone's minds would be made up.  This affects all of us.  It's maddening and we got Trump and his followers with their Kotex pads on their ears ready to take over. My daily situation needs to change for the better.  It can and figuring out how to work it out will be the tricky part so I don't make myself look like a malcontent. I think having almost 3 years of someone watching me and reporting me for every little thing is a good reason.  I will be met with silence if I come out with that way.  They know the truth.  They choose to stick their head in the sand and I kind of came to that realization this week.  I just have to keep focusing on the new opportunities that wi...

 Kind of a non news day until now.  I watched a couple of episodes of Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles tonight.  Did the usual Saturday stuff instead of leaving the news on as background noise because the noise was giving me a headache. It's been hard to watch the President get older.  I worried about Joe becoming older.  It's like seeing your parents get older.  I have hated what's happened in the news this late month.  Downright depressed.  I accepted the fact that he will probably resign this week. I did not accept that the donors were not interested in Kamala Harris.  It's been so confusing and chaotic. You wonder, does my vote count?  Between the MAGA movement wanting to throw my vote out, now the donors are looking at who they want.  How about asking the voters?  I'm all in for Kamala if that's the case.  Let's get over this can a woman do this?  Yes, she can.   I feel bad that Joe feels stabbed in t...

 I overslept by an hour which is ok.  Not ok for Precious but she got me up at 3:00 and had some food so she'll survive. I fed her again, little skinny tiger. It was a discouraging day yesterday. The previous night I had gotten an alert that I had a new bill with Ascension.  I thought for what?  Anything I went for was covered by insurance so far.  I thought.  Then I remembered the sinus infection visit.  It wasn't a horrible bill. It was like $58.  I can handle that.  My mom asked if I had my deductible in and I said that's $1200.  I would cry if the bill was that much.  This is eh, kind of sucks, but we'll deal. Yesterday, I got the notification in the mail from my insurance company that my premium will go up 25% in October.  Oh, is this an early holiday gift?  I didn't get them anything, geez.  Where's my middle finger.  I'll wrap it in a bow.  I expected it.  I don't like it and the timing of it jus...

This is what the week has been like.  Disappointment.  Disappointed in people.  I don't like being cynical but it's disheartening when people let you down. I got told some time ago, you don't let people get close to you because I didn't want to open up about dealing with cancer.  Ok, I did today and got met with silence. I shared with someone about being thrown off by Shannen Doherty dying.  Nothing.  No response.  Ok.  I'll change the subject. Do I want to talk about bad stuff in my life?  NO.  Would it be nice to open up and have someone respond about your fears?  YES.   I understand why Shannen did her podcast.  It was cathartic.  Like me writing everyday.  I feel bad. I feel sad, but I feel productive.  A lot of times it helps to write things down.  I'm not dying.  I'm just horribly lonely. I don't feel like people are sincere most of the time and even when I joined a support group, I felt...

 I saw the news alerts about Microsoft Office this morning.  Not shocked.  I was able to sign in to see.  We'll see what the day brings. I had gotten my emails down by 2/3rds and I was hoping to get more taken care of today, but we all know how plans go. Glad the RNC is over.  I wish the debate on who will be our choice for the Democrats will get decided.  I have moved onto the acceptance stage.  I saw the comments that Congressman Jamie Raskin put in his letter and they were very kind and thoughtful words.  George Clooney still sucks.  I get it.  People are seeing what we may not be seeing as the voters.  It's just sad. We'll see what other degrading things the lurker has to say to the group.  We are starting an experiment or a test of everyone being a go to person for the group, like a mini leadership trial run and guess who is up first?  We'll see how that goes and how quickly I will lose my mind.  This person is g...

 I wouldn't be surprised what happens tomorrow. Hoping to end the week peacefully and that wasn't happening. The lurker was on a roll with their denigrating and degrading way that they talk to the group.  It's a keyboard warrior.  Never shows their face when it's asked.  How can you trust?  I found it stressful even if it wasn't necessarily directed at me.  I don't want this person in power.  I don't want this person in my life.  I want this person away from me and I think it won't be happening for the next month and a half.  I may ask for a switch in assignments.  I have shown so much grace in 2 plus years and every time, the lurker has been accommodating.  I have been the one with the additional stress.  I have gone through 50 million emotions about Joe Biden not running for re-election and I think I am at the acceptance stage.  So much more is being said and it's heart breaking.  I found myself wondering who would ...

 I just heard that Nancy Pelosi had told Joe to step down.  On the surface, he seems more like himself lately but we don't see everything that the people closest to him see. I hope whatever decision that needs to be made is done fast.  Nancy has been the biggest supporter of Joe, but if it seems like there's something we're not seeing, she wouldn't hesitate to tell him.   If they wind up having Kamala run, I'm 200% in.  I'm all for the best and horribly sad that this is happening. The lurker struck again but they seemed to have found a new victim but yet blamed the group.  Unreal. I hear Kid Rock will be playing tonight at the RNC.  I'll be watching a test screen over that.  

 Here's to a better day.  No lurkers, no protegee lurkers.  If anything, I have gotten a lot done to make up for the time I lost between melting laptops and time off. I don't fit in any group.  I mean, I had 2 people who were happy and delighted that I was dealing with an illness.  Yeah.  That was enjoyable watching them smile and telling me to have a nice day when they would see me leave early.  Thanks to the managing attorney opening her big mouth to her pets, they knew.  I know.  My doctor's medical assistant asked if they ever heard of HIPPA?  Apparently not.  Me being me didn't want to start anything.  I wanted to block it out and ignore.  For anyone who says I have don't have thick skin, that may be true, but I'll ignore and tend to my wounds in private.   I watched a couple of episodes of Stephen Colbert last night with my mom. I saw the Adam Kinzinger interview before, but I know she adores him and I figu...

 Is love.  Yes, it's a Dionne Warwick song.  I heard it last night watching a video on Instagram.  I tortured myself watching a video tribute on someone who died recently.  Yes, it's Shannen Doherty.  Yes, it made me sad.  I know!  Why?  Why am I doing this?  I kind of hated her character on 90210. I identify what she went through.  It wasn't the same experiences or treatment, but the feelings she had were similar to mine at times.  The people that were there for her was not the same for me.  I really was on my own.  I thought about Cassie tonight.  It's been about 2 months since I got her 2 sentence message?  I know people move on.  I thought I had a better friendship that what it really was.  Doing a duty and bye Felicia to me, I guess.   I wish I had kept in touch with Corinne after she left years earlier.  I had confided in her when I had my first scare and she left the following...

 I got my own bus route for that and a smushed foot for every time someone stepped on my toes.  Did I mention the lurker has a friend?  We all take turns working on a shared email inbox and the lurker's protegee decided to work on it as well.  How many you do count towards your productivity and the protege and lurker are fixated on numbers.  Fixated on being on top.  I felt frustrated.  The protege was nicer about it but I needed a break. For the life of me, why can't people leave each other alone? At least the check got deposited and it was still a productive day. My voice is not welcome.  My ideas are not welcome.  I accept it.  I am tired of it.  

 Only 2 more days until the hate people go back to their holes and leave our horrible city.  Gross.  I will be disinfecting the streets with Lysol and Clorox.  I'll be glad when they're out.  They hate our city, why be here? Well hoping for a productive day without any lurkers or anyone asking me why I seem off.  I'm like that everyday.  Conflicting messages are frustrating.  Speak up but when the indefensible gets excused, all I can do is go silent.  I don't know when I'll have that conversation but there will be opportunities where I could make a switch and I can be the one that does it, not someone else pushing me or making a suggestion.  I have grown weary of being the good natured one who takes it in stride and continually gets kicked.  It's not ok.  I have a right to say when it's not ok.   Precious seems to be gelling back into her routine.  None of my other cats would have done well with Kringle.  It...

It was a very productive day for a single childless cat lady.  I heard that news clip on Nicolle Wallace's show.  I actually downloaded Hillbilly Elegy awhile back, like maybe when Covid started. I think I deleted it.  People are ragging on Ron Howard for making the book a movie.  I would get emails from the Tim Ryan campaign telling me we could use that book as a door stop or maybe donate to Tim's campaign. I donated a few dollars to Tim Ryan. I sure wish he would have beat Vance.  What a horrible human Vance is hearing that.  He referred to Kamala Harris, Pete Buttiegieg and AOC when he mentioned single cat ladies.  I didn't know Pete had a cat.  I hope Kamala verbally rips Vance's throat out for their debate.  Well Satan has a son and it's JD Vance.  I'll be darned. I got a lot done. I have to make up a lot between time off and time my laptop fizzled.  I'm making progress but today felt like a good good day to get those checkmark...