The Invisible Woman Chronicles

It's been a little mess of a day.  It hasn't been horrible, just sorting through the mess of the last month and a half.   I was good about using sunscreen when I was in the office and when covid hit, it's been erratic. I knew the stuff I had was probably expired so I got a bottle of Cerave from Target.  I got a ton of samples several years ago from my doctor's medical assistant for eczema and it's nice stuff. I didn't realize until I walked out of my last appointment that there were free samples.  That's nice.  Would have felt like a free loader but that's a thoughtful gesture. I liked the texture of the sunscreen but I forgot about something.  I had stopped at Walmart before I went for my walk and once I got to my spot, I saw myself in the mirror.  I was like a mime with the white cast. I forgot about the damn white cast.  The last stuff I had wasn't that bad.  Normally I can cover that up with a little makeup. I was able to wipe it off...

We got a new TV last night thanks to my sister and brother in-law.  Our TV in the living room died so off we went to Wal-Mart to get one that was big enough that my mom can see faces now.  My brother in-law worked like crazy to get it set up.  I'm still a little confused by it but I'm happy my mom can see.  I really appreciate everything they've done.  That was a lot.  We needed some help with the blinds and getting a light in under the stove.  Little things that are a big deal for us.  Safe travels to them.  They're probably on the road right now.  Hopefully we can see them in late summer. My next goal is sorting through the mess of boxes now that we can stay.  My brother in-law showed me how to access the Fire stick TV so I don't have to go through and enter all of my passwords in for the new Roku TV.  That was nice because I have a password book where I wrote my passwords and I don't know where they are. I had to pack up thi...

If love hasn't abandoned me and there's someone that gets me and vice versa, I don't want to advertise it.  It's nobody's business. I like the idea of a secret relationship and not in a we're doing something illegal way.  It's a mind your own damn business way.  I think that a lot of times people can't stop with the questions or comments. Let's throw out a few examples. When are you getting married?  We just went on our first date.  He bought me a Starbucks, not a ring.  Go away. What type of work does he do?  Minding his own business.  Go away.  It would either be that or he works for Spectrum TV.  We all know I love TV. What type of car does he drive?  A functioning one.  Go away.  I used to have to take the bus everywhere in college.  As long as it doesn't involve me getting my own bus pass, I don't give a flying F what someone drives. How come you didn't go out to dinner on Valentine's Day?  How come he didn'...

I went for a haircut yesterday and the student was insistent that she curl my hair.  She was a beginner and her instructor more or less finished my haircut.  There was nothing wrong with that.  They're practicing and it took longer than I expected.  She was insistent about curling my hair.  I thought why not?  I was a little worried about time because of the parking meter.  I should have set it for 2 hours where I think I had it for 1 hour 45 minutes. I barely made it. I think she felt like she had to do something because her instructor finished my hair cut so I said yeah, that's fine. I looked at what she did and thought, why do I look like a really fair haired and even paler version of Fran Lebovitz?  I like Fran.  She's hilarious and sardonic.  I don't want to be her twin.  I felt tired and my age.  I don't see what other people see. I acknowledge that.  I smiled and said it looks great.  I wanted to get out. ...

I am off again the next two days.  My sister and brother in-law will be here today and will be coming to our place the next two days before they head back to Florida.  They are hoping they can return later in the year with my nephew, their dog Daisy and my buddy the notorious Kringle!  Aka Krackle.  That would be awesome if they can make that work. I know I angered the lurker and the diva about me having time off again in our weekly chat.  I was still feeling kind of fresh off my really expensive mistake so I didn't have much to offer to the conversation until there was questioning about people having time off and I felt really horribly offended.  Ok for thee but not for me.  I'm not the only one with time off but I know it's me where the anger is directed.  The diva has been made aware of how some of my time has been spent this spring looking for places, medical and she was made well aware that I spent a morning driving an hour back and forth for...

I think the whole problem of me getting a reaction from the Differin is that my skincare products sucked.  I really haven't gotten any indulgent skincare items nor do I care to get any because I don't think it's make a difference and it's not a good idea for me to have something with fragrance in some of these products. I bought e.l.f. face cleanser and moisturizer because I read that e.l.f. was not rolling back their DEI program.  I thought hey, it'll be my part of the resistance.  I guess I'll pass.  After I had my issue with the moisturizer, I read that it had oil in it.  I thought well that was dumb.  I should be using oil free and I thought it was.  Their cleanser seemed to burn my face.  I'm not sure what the ingredients are because I threw it in the trash yesterday.   In all the shuffling we had trying to clean up our place and make it possible for showing, I did find a cleanser that I forgot about.  It's almost empty so I wi...

I'm my own worst critic.  I am too hard on myself.  That is who I am.   I was told the worst things about myself over the years and it rings in my head.  You're nothing.  You're a loser.  You won't amount to anything.   No, I'm not any of those things.  I know that.  I am someone.  I am someone who got damaged and I struggle with the damage and remind myself that I need to give myself grace. I think about our admin's day next week. I thought I don't want anything. I just want to keep working. I don't need a gift card.  I don't want to get lunch on the company dime.  Right now, I feel like a hypocrite to celebrate when I made a super critical mistake.  It was a mistake that cost a significant amount of money.  It was a mistake that embarrassed someone.  It was a mistake that had to prompt an uncomfortable conversation with me.  I don't feel like I should go get tacos.  Just saying. I know I wor...