Nobody's Obligation

 What do I wish for my birthday? I don't want to feel like I'm anyone's obligation.  I want to actually feel like someone wants me around because they like me.  

Stupid birthdays. I think they remind me of what I'm missing.  If I went on Facebook and wrote a post about how I just wished I had someone that I could have coffee with (even though I don't drink coffee, I do drink a beverage, damn it), people would be hurt like Corinne.

If she was still in the area, I would happily meet up with her and I know she would be open to that.  I'm just thankful she messages me a few times a week.  When I see days where she's posting online and doesn't respond to my message, I feel a little hurt.  In her case, I get it.  She was me for the longest time so I think she's used to her own bubble.

Nothing will top me asking Cassie where I can find a good mover and not hearing from her for a few days.  Yet, I saw all the Snap Chat alerts she was online.  I'm glad making funny faces is way more important than telling me where I can find a good mover in the Milwaukee area.  I should have taken the 3 thousand dollars for making me feel like an obligation.  I couldn't but I think about the cold message I got that she could venmo me the money.

My dad - not my step dad referred to me as an obligation when he got asked about my college education.  He told my mom that he was done with his obligation and he wouldn't be paying.  If it wasn't for my step-dad working two jobs, I worked have worked three to pay for it, even if it meant taking off semesters to get the money.  I was done with pretending to be his daughter anyway so we were good.  So yeah. I was done with my own obligation.

This is why I am a bit reserved and have walls up.  I feel like if you want to spend time with me, great.  If not, I'll keep going.  I don't want to be anyone's obligation. 

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