Sleeping In

Looks like my mom is sleeping in. Sigh.  I am mad.  I'm not mad if that makes sense.

I tried to wake her up at 9.  I thought she would get up but she hasn't gotten up.  I was going to do it at 9:30 but I thought screw it.  I'll try at 10 am.

I thought I heard her up around 5 this morning. I was awake and looked at my watch.  I thought can't she sleep? I thought maybe she would be up when I finally got up around 5:30.  No.  She went back to sleep.  It made me wonder if she had a bad night of sleep so I can't fault her if she needs more time.

No. I don't need to drive to the east side at this moment.  This is why I do leave early in the mornings because she really doesn't get up and around until after 10.  I normally get home around noon or beforehand and then whatever errands we need to do, we get it done in the afternoon so it's fine with me.  

She wanted to go early and get it done.  That doesn't seem to be happening and I'm just a bit frustrated.  I feel bad that I do. I don't want it to seem like there are other things more important.  There's not.  

I watched some TV this morning and there are other things I can do if she doesn't wake up at 10.  She has a lot of trouble sleeping some times and since she worked third shift years ago, her sleep rhythms are off.  There's nothing wrong with getting extra sleep.  

Years ago, I ticked her off when I came home from seeing a morning movie.  She wanted to go to Kmart and I said can we go in an hour.  It was kind of cold outside and I just wanted something to eat.  I had gone to the bathroom and I heard the door slam shut.  When I came out, she was gone.  I ran outside to look for her and got into my car.  She was walking to the store.  I offered her a ride and she waved me off.

When she got home, she went off on a rant with me that we'll do things separately.  She's not going to be a burden to me.  I apologized.  I was tearful and said I didn't mean to come across that way.  She forgave me but that was such a terrible moment.

No, I don't think she would do that to me if I went to the store or went for a walk. I never meant for her to feel that way. I felt horrible last night when she said when we get delivery with WalMart, I'll have more free time.  No.  I'm ok with my time.

I don't know why I'm talking about this.  It makes my mom sound bad, doesn't it?  Well if you knew my family history, you'd see where the outburst came from.  It shouldn't have been directed at me.  It should have been directed at my step-dad and other family members.

I'll always make time for my mom.  It's not an issue.  I do my morning run because she's not a morning person so I make my time for the afternoon when she's awake and ready to go.

Maybe Precious can wake her up.  

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