The One who hurt my piggy bank

I have alluded to the manager who wasn't so nice to me for many years.  It wouldn't surprise me if I found out that they had moved on at some point.  They're not a manager and they never should have been in the first place.

Betty started off as a legal assistant.  She replaced Cassie.  Friendly enough but snippy and a know it all.  I noticed she spent a lot of time sitting in people's offices.  I was talking to someone about reading books and I said on a good week, I could knock out 8 books.  Betty announced "she doesn't have time to read books.  She's busy raising a family."

Excuse me, Betty, but my statement wasn't directed at you and I don't recall an invite to the conversation.  It was little snips like that.  She commented that one person need more lip moisturizer in a snotty tone.  

She was actually really close with Frick and they would spend hours at each other's desks talking.  And going to lunch for hours on end.  It wasn't a sad day when she moved out of state.

It was a sad day when she moved back a year and a half later and became our manager.  I thought kill me now.  

People like Barry tried to tell me to give her a chance and I did.  I kind of appreciated what she did initially. I didn't always agree with some of the things she said, but I thought maybe this would be better.

Her friendship with Frick was a problem for many people.  Someone made a phone call about Frick never showing up for work and getting favoritism from Betty.  Yeah, I got that call.  I felt bad.  My empathy can be my own worst enemy.  As mad as I was at Frick and Betty for putting us in this position or mostly me, I thought it was dirty that someone did that.  I was kinder in my comments and tried to rationalize what happened when I answered questions. I didn't think it was ok to mess with someone's paycheck.

I told Betty what I said and how I felt. She said I don't expect you to lie.  I said I didn't.  I softened their shitty behavior. I was being transparent and I was getting attitude.  I showed her grace.  

One of the things I got asked was about Frick knowing how much people made.  That one took me back but over the years, I have wondered, did she know?  Was there a reason she treated me the way she did?  

Did Betty improve her behavior?  No.  Her and Frick got more bold with their behavior and it happened again.  I thought I don't want that phone call.  I suspect and still suspect Cassie did it.  I didn't care.  

Betty survived the second attempt even though others didn't.  Then someone new came in and it seemed like things would be better.  It seemed like Betty had a falling out with Frick.  I just thought things would be different.

Things took a turn when Betsy got hired and some of the other new hires.  Betty let herself get influenced by Betsy too much.  She would give Betsy clothes and things to take home to her children because she was a sympathetic mom.  There was a lot of time she would spend at Betsy's desk talking about a lot of personal stuff.

Things went south for me when Betsy started running to Betty about me, making up stories.  I had gone to Betty about Betsy being rude after her mother died and I wind up getting an email telling me that I'm part of the problem and work it out with Betsy.  We did and I tried to make it right with Betsy.

Then came the sit down.  It was myself and the managing attorney on side and Betsy and Betty.  I felt like I was in a mediation.  As mad as I am that blabbermouth managing attorney, she did have my back in this situation.  Betty started off the conversation by talking about her role as a manager and how she has a duty to report to higher ups when she has to request audits and she doesn't make "lists" on people.

First up, what?  It was all directed at me.  I didn't know what she was talking about and if someone, say Betsy reported something negative, didn't I have the right to hear what I said?  Shouldn't she have come out and tell me what she was mad about?  It was this passive aggressive nonsense that still to this day makes me say What was that about?  What prompted me that speech?

Second, Betty knew me longer than Betsy.  She knew about some of my colleagues taking cheap shots at me and making comments about getting praise from others.  When did I become some awful person?  

Third, I spoke up for Betty.  I stood up for her.  Why am I being put in this situation?  Did she ever think that maybe she should long and hard that she should have told Betsy to go do her work and shut up?  

I was told that I was wasting people's time as well as Betsy.  No, Betty  and Betsy was wasting time by turning the workplace into an imaginary episode of the Real housewives.  

Betty didn't have my back.  I think that was the worst part.  At the end of our conversation, she did tell Betsy I never said a bad word about her.  I said in my final remarks, I can't fix a problem if you don't tell me.  I'm so baffled by all of this and I have tried to make things right.  She coddled Betsy when she told us that she was afraid of me.

Betty got to have a lot more conversations with Betsy about how she treated people.  You would think that she would give me an apology for this.  No, I didn't get one.

I got a black mark on my record because of this.  I shouldn't have gotten one because I basically got framed by a liar.  Betty should have known that.  I had to sit there and take it when it came to review time.  

What was really weird is that I was compensated more than I expected.  It was lower, but it was ok.  It was the years after what happened was kind of troubling.  It seemed like I didn't get much higher after that.  There were excuses or weird comments made like I ask too many questions. I never get a chance to even ask her one because someone was usually in her office gossiping.

There was a year where she would pull people in one by one to let them know what their raise was for the year.  Then, she would tell them because of the weather, they could go home.  I was hoping to hear what mine would be and she left for the day.  Walked out and never said a word to me.  Then she didn't say anything to me for another 2 days.  I was almost the last person to know.  Frick was the grand finale.

Yet, when we accidentally got overcompensated because of a snow day, I was the first one in her office to let her know.  Turns out I was the only person who let  her know.

When we stayed at home during covid, I would get messages after I would send an email that I needed to leave for a couple of hours to take my mom for her covid shot.  She would send an email and say I don't believe I see that request sent to me in our time keeping system.  Normally we could add it in later. I had to estimate my time and I found I was the only one being asked.

Oh, there's so much more.  I felt like things got better after Betsy but I felt like she just kind of put a block on me from ever succeeding.  

She said during an anniversary event for me that the one big thing about me is that I was a loyal person.  Yeah.  I am. 

In holding back and not giving me the compensation that was deserved, I felt like maybe my medical could have been paid off faster or maybe things just would have been a tiny bit easier.

She's kind of turned into a shadow and a ghost over the years.  It's for the best because it was just a stifling and depressing time.

I didn't like the way she handled herself at times but at a time when I could have said something to affect her in a negative way, I didn't.  Do I regret it?  I don't know if I have it in me to do something like that to another person. 

No matter how mad I get at someone, you just don't mess with their piggy bank.