The Return of the Frick

 Last week, I got asked by the stomper if I could help their group today.  That group?  It involves Frick and Frack.  I really dreaded being asked that question but I agreed to a half day.  I received a message from Frick that made me ask a couple of questions.  There was a lot of confusion for me and in response, I got a snotty response that someone else in their group needed help.  I got a "Just so you know, we don't need your help."  I will relay that message to someone when the time is right. I know things can get lost in the cyber world but I knew her in the real world. I knew what she meant.  F off loser.

If there was anyone who was shown a ton of grace, it was Frick.  I tried. I really tried. I thought maybe the three of us were better when both their dads passed and I went through cancer in the same year.  There were things that bothered me that Frick did that made me question if this is someone who could ever be a friend.

I knew her husband had some type of knee surgery going on and she had sent me a message the night after he had the surgery. I messaged back and said well, I'll be coming in late because I have an oncology appointment and was glad that things went ok.  

The next morning, as I'm waiting for my appointment, I get a message that says, Oh, I'm such a bad friend!  I just saw your message now!  

I got that a lot.  When I send a message to someone, I don't hold my phone up to my face and wait for a message. I go on with my day or my life, or whatever you want to call it.    Her message translated to me read like "You're such a low person and I'm so sorry that I couldn't grace you with my presence because everyone loves me."  Bitch.  Very insincere and really rude. I got that a lot and I'm like what?  Really?  Am I that pathetic?  I hate it when people do that to me.  I may not have a life but that doesn't mean I'm waiting on a phone call from you dumb ass.  Unreal. 

I got a lot of comments from her about me not having a husband and going through cancer alone.  It got her a free lunch because she went to my manager about it.  It really wasn't about me.  She wanted to get out of a pottery class that the group was going to and I couldn't go because I was finishing up treatment. I knew what she was doing.  She went to my manager and said I'm missing out on all of the fun stuff this summer. No, I wasn't.  I did miss a baseball game because I was having surgery but it really wouldn't have been enjoyable to be around Lois.  Yeah, my summer sucked but I wasn't boo hooing about not getting to go to a sports game with people who were rude to me or go to a pottery class that would just feel awkward with people who weren't always nice to me.  This was about Frick - not me.  She got a free lunch and it made me her look good on her review because it was commented on "how caring" she was.  Yeah. I was used.  I'm not broken up about it. I realize it.

Why did I have a friendship with her at times?  I don't know.  She was fun at times.  I really did get a kick out of the things she did.  She was a great help when she wanted to be and honestly, I thought there was something decent about her until she started pulling stuff on me again.  

It was after I found out that some of the women had made a phone call that I was getting favored because I was getting assigned to a new attorney after Barry left. I was told after Barry left that the next person they hired would be paired up with me.  That attorney?  Lasted maybe a year and a half?  I liked her but she overloaded me with work.  At that time, Frick was super ugly with me so I kept my distance.  I talked to Corinne and just kept things civil.

I know we all have to keep peace to make our days better in the workplace.  I got talked to at one point that I was too quiet and too reserved. I felt like I was at a fault for what had happened to our group.  I disagreed but it got flipped on me.  Then it ended with, you know, you were friends with Frick at one point in time.

I got guilted and shamed because I didn't want to be friends with an asshole?  Great.  I got a real problem when this forced socialization gets thrown at people.  It doesn't make people happier.  It makes some of us pissed off.  Maybe some people like the engagement and the social activity.  For some people who weren't treated so nicely, why should we be subjected to the ones that basically bully us?  Do we want to get laughed at some more? 

I also know how Frick operates.  She knows how to play the victim and manipulate.  I'm sure she presented herself as the sad person who just tried so hard and had a bad day. They don't understand why I'm acting the way I am.

I had this happen with a previous manager. I was upset because this manager approved my time  off when I moved here.  Corinne had time off and so did Frick.  My manager said that Corinne's boyfriend and future husband was going to be in town and Frick had family time.  You know, we had other people who could have covered and I was tearful.  I said I've been harassed by the upstairs neighbor and I need the time to move.  She said she could ok my Friday but not my Monday.  I couldn't believe it.

I happened to have the next day off and I got a call from the manager.  Frick graciously accepted to come back early from her vacation if I needed that Monday.  I said we were fine and we would have the Labor Day weekend coming up to sort things out. It was ok.  As long as I had Friday, I would be ok.

That following Monday, my manager told me to make things nice with Frick. I thought for what???  I just pretended I didn't hear her and I told Frick, thank you but I don't need that Monday.  I had said at one point I don't know why you get a half day when you don't show up for a full week.  She was pissed off at me.  I agree.  That was bad at my part.  That's how angry she got you.  

Around that time, my mom had problems with her jaw locking from some candy she ate.  She had to go to an ears nose and throat doctor.  After we had moved in and got settled in, Frick decided to park herself at my desk and tell me, I was just thinking about your mom.  How's she doing?  I said fine and kept working. 

She's a social player.  If you come into her world?  She'll find everything about you and come across some caring and sweet.  I have had more than one person come up to me and say, You know, I like her.  I just wish she would show up more.

I wish she would stay out of my life.  I got guilted and made to feel like I was at fault because I didn't want to be friends with her.  I don't want to be friends with a liar and a backstabber.  What's wrong with saying no?

When she asked me if I wanted to show up at some attorney's retirement luncheon,  I said no. She thought it was because of Covid and I said No. I don't want to.

It's a nice feeling when you don't have to force yourself to be around people you can't stand.  I gave a lot of grace over the 12 years or more?  that I had to deal with her.