The Invisible Woman Chronicles

 I found out my cat is diabetic.  She had been peeing a lot and seemed to be thirsty all the time. I took her to my normal vet in late September 2021 when it started and her blood work came out ok.  This time it wasn't. I hadn't gone to the same vet not because I didn't like the clinic.  Well, I didn't like the clinic.  The staff bothered me.  I liked the vets.  I think maybe this vet didn't check my cat for diabetes.  I just had a bad vibe about going back.  When I asked if my kitty could have her nails trimmed, the vet tech brought her back put her carrier on the ground and acted like she dumped out the garbage. Precious is a shy and nervous cat.  She probably squirmed and made the tech mad.  After reading what people had to say about this clinic, I know it was the right choice to switch. I am overwhelmed with the diagnosis.  I got an email the night of the big Judge's election in Wisconsin. I wrote letters, post cards and te...

 There has been good news the past few weeks. I got a really nice raise.  I really need it.  I think it's the best I've had in years.  It's been so many that I don't remember if this is the highest.  It was a relief.  And very much needed. My oncologist thinks I could end my treatment with the Zoladex shot and anastrozole.  I am having my next screening and bone density exam on the same day.  Sounds like a good time, good grief.  I'll see her again in July and we'll take it from there. She thought I could have ended it a couple of weeks and to be honest, I got scared.  Just when I think I'm ok, turns out something happens.  I had that happen when my surgeon said after 3 years, my chance of recurrence goes down and I had another biopsy with my next screening.  Then I got tested for ovarian and endometrial cancer because it turned out my menopause was a false alarm.  I had endometrial polyps.  Not cancerous thank goodne...

 The one place that I have found some peace is the neighborhoods near Lake Michigan during the pandemic.  And well now that we're sort of out of the pandemic? I never know from one day to the next.  It just kind of seemed like my place to be and always such a relief when the weekend hits and I get a chance to walk the big hill and up the hill near Lake Michigan. For the most part, the people that I see hae been friendly and say hello.  Occasionally I get someone annoyed that their dog was curious by me and wanted to get closer.  It's not my fault furry humans like me better than their owners. Today was one of those days.  I had a furry little orange kitty come running down a driveway to greet me.  It looked like her name was Coco when I read the tag.  She purred and rubbed up against my legs.  Even the guy I see from time to time with his three dogs was amused when he saw Coco look sternly at his three dogs. I wondered if this cat was lost....

 I did say thank you to the neighbor who helped me with snow removal on Sunday. I saw someone helping a woman across the alley from me.  I have a lot of pride and believe in trying to do things on my own.  I'm struggling and I thought maybe if I get outside, the neighbor will help me and they did when they say me.   I'd help anyone in a heartbeat.  I'm always there.  It just hasn't been the same for me and I don't want to take advantage of anyone or be that person that always kisses up to get free stuff. I dislike people like that.  I've been a used person most of my life. No more. I didn't want the neighbor to use the snow blower on the sidewalk.  It's easier to walk in the snow and I knew my downstairs neighbor would be too lazy to shovel.  I was wrong.  He did shovel and he did a half ass job.  My neighbor was nice enough to help a lot of people struggling in the alley. I had been shoveling for about 20 minutes before he cam...

 It snowed a lot yesterday.  I will probably have to shovel in front of the garage where I park my car because my neighbor will not lift a finger for anything and he let me do all the shoveling last year.  It's in his lease that he has to shovel. It is not in my lease. He stopped shoveling shortly after he moved and when I tried to take recycling out behind the garage, I fell twice on my back.  I thought maybe he would shovel at some point in the day, but after the second time, I had kept my shovel in the trunk of my car in case I got stuck somewhere and shoveled.  My 80 something year old mother went out after she heard about my fall and tried to clean up the snow.  When our neighbor saw what she was doing, he said he would have done it that night.  He told her it was too cold.  When she said all the neighbors shoveled, he got angry and proceeded to talk about how I park in the garage.  He said that I leave so much space that he could lay do...

 Bad enough I looked up my dumb ass ex recently, I looked up a crush online.  Every so often, I will look at this person's picture and they make me smile, even though I'm no longer in their life. We were friends and this person got married and had kids.  We lost touch and we may run into each other every once in awhile.  Part of me wants to avoid this person because of my feelings and I feel kind of like an a hole because I do have a crush.  I hated women that flirted with my boyfriends.  I saw this person once in a grocery store and I purposely avoided them just because it didn't seem like a good idea. This time, seeing him with his family made me cry.  Hard.  It really hit me like it never had before.   I can look at my ex and think he's an idiot. I look at my crush and I wish I was the person that was in his life because he's a good person. I think he's with the person that he's meant to be with in his life.  His wife probably ta...

 I saw a really nice duplex in a good neighborhood.  I'm in no position to move.  I have no money to move.  I still took the number down.  Nobody would respond.  It's ok.  We were curious.  We figured it was probably well over $1500. On the weekends, I go walking by Lake Michigan.  I park near the hospital. I started with my secret walking back in 2019.  I'd go to another doctor appointment. Find out I needed more tests.  There's a Starbucks a couple of blocks back so I'd park one block over and cry.  And cry.  Then I'd get my order, have a drink and maybe feel better for a moment.  I started stopping in the CVS in the neighborhood and that's actually how I found my new eye doctor when mine retired.  It felt good to stretch my legs and walk down the block to get my drink.  I'd maybe walk around a couple of the blocks to gather my thoughts and pull myself together before I went home.  I didn't want to be...