Won't You Be My Neighbor?

 I saw a really nice duplex in a good neighborhood.  I'm in no position to move.  I have no money to move.  I still took the number down.  Nobody would respond.  It's ok.  We were curious.  We figured it was probably well over $1500.

On the weekends, I go walking by Lake Michigan.  I park near the hospital. I started with my secret walking back in 2019.  I'd go to another doctor appointment. Find out I needed more tests.  There's a Starbucks a couple of blocks back so I'd park one block over and cry.  And cry.  Then I'd get my order, have a drink and maybe feel better for a moment.  I started stopping in the CVS in the neighborhood and that's actually how I found my new eye doctor when mine retired.  It felt good to stretch my legs and walk down the block to get my drink.  I'd maybe walk around a couple of the blocks to gather my thoughts and pull myself together before I went home.  I didn't want to be a wreck for my mom.  It didn't always work but the walk felt nice.

There's a Metro Market that's a little farther north that I went to this morning before I went home.  I knew about this store but never went into one until the people at my old nail salon told me about this magical place.  Our shelves seemed to be low on Diet A&W and my mom likes it.  I found it at this store and got it for her.  I normally pull over on a side street and walk because their parking lot is atrocious and it's nice to see the houses.  I had to block about 2 blocks up and I saw the For Rent sign.  I took some pictures and showed my mom when I got home.

I know it's a nice area and I know it has it's share of problems with robberies.  It just seemed so kind of peaceful and uncomplicated.  I bet the neighbors were better about cleaning up the dog poop and didn't curse you out if you called the city on them.  I know they have a nice library and I know about their nail salon on Capitol since I went there for a few years.  I thought perfect to go for a walk to the store or do a pick up.  

That is not a world for me, unfortunately.  We are paying a lower rent than maybe a lot of people are and we have an nice place.  I am close to a lot of things and it is a lot easier being at home.  It's that person downstairs that drives me out of the house every weekend.  I'm uncomfortable and I don't trust him.  He helped make our lives harder and he just doesn't seem to ever go away.  I've heard it before.  It's not perfect anywhere. I know that.  I had neighbors who were Satan worshippers and other sorted criminals.  We were driven out of a 4 family building because the guy upstairs wanted our apartment.  He had been picked up for sexual assault in another state.  No, I know there's no place perfect.

It's nice to dream of feeling safe and secure.  It was nice to look at the duplex and think about what life could be if my finances were better.  Then I get mad at myself over the could have, should have, would haves.

I feel nervous about a finance manager calling me about buying my car. I know I"ll hear about credit rating or paying high interest.  I'm prepared for them to shame me before they let me buy my car.  Maybe they won't let me buy it.  Ugh.  Think positive.

On the plus side, I made a $4.00 profit on ebay selling lipstick.  I'm ready for the big times in business.  

Dreaming is a nice thing.