Feeling Guilty

I don't feel like I was at my best when company was here.  I felt off and I hate that. I cried last night feeling guilty about it when I went to bed.  I just felt overwhelmed.  What's new?  I know.

I'm still dealing with a new cat.  She has been tied up in my room for the last week.  She will be sweet and affectionate and this morning, I reached over to pet her and she was going to bite my hand. I pulled it away and walked out of the room.  I'm not doing that.  I think is she going to be like this?  I'm going to work damn hard she's not if we get company in the future.   Or if anyone wants to stay with us.

This part could be considered kind of humorous.  Kind of Oh no.  Definitely embarrassing for me.  I had some stomach issues yesterday morning.  Guessing maybe anxiety so I had to use the bathroom more.  When my nephew was cleaning up, I couldn't take it so I told my mom I had to leave to find a bathroom.  I drove six blocks to Pick N Save to use their bathroom.  I bought bananas and crackers.  I mean, if I'm going to do that, I should purchase something.  I wish we had two bathrooms in that moment.  I miss our old place in Bay View.  Two bathrooms seem a luxury and never happen for me in my lifetime.  Sigh.  Stomach better but the embarrassment still lingers.  I didn't say why I left.  I tried to make it look like I took an early lunch at 10 am.

It looks like I need to find a new dentist.  My old dentist did me a lot of favors. I didn't ask for it and I wouldn't ask for it from anyone but I think I'm starting to see the person my mom did years ago. I got a bill for $55.  I forgot about the damn x-rays.  Insurance only covers once a year.  Well the old dentist would take them and write it off.  I never saw a bill so I took things for granted.  I think I have a place that might work with my sad piggy bank.  We'll see.  I'll pay the bill.  He wouldn't take a check from my mom so we'll see how he likes it when I send him a check.  What did he mean  when he said my teeth are ok for now?  I don't know.  My trust radar is up with him.  He plans on running the business for awhile so have fun with that.  I guess now it is time to say bye bye.

I kind of thought Threads was a decent app until I saw that some guy that called himself Threads dad was trying to groom people.  It seemed like some random account of someone spreading kindness for others who were missing their dad or having something bad happen.  He targeted younger women.  He would have no interest in an old broad like me and I'm good.  What a shitty thing to do to others.  I guess he's going under other aliases.  Kudos to the women doing the internet detective work on this guy.  What a pervert.

I suppose I should get ready for my day.  I don't feel relieved that my company is gone.  I feel sad that I wasn't at my best.  I feel horrible.

I definitely do not feel like a good human.  

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Not the Good Rain

I knew there would be rain but not the heavy kind.  Yeah that kind of sucks.  I will go out in it though to go do my errands and ShopKick.  I'll see how the morning plays out. I still didn't get a response from my insurance agent.  This just irks me.  I worried maybe I'd get a call when I was at the dentist or in meetings where I couldn't answer.  Nope.  No worries there.  Sigh.  They better call on Monday.  I'd like to know what my choices are and if they are higher than what I'm paying.  Is that too much to ask?  Apparently.  My mom asked if I could speak to the guy that runs the agency.  I told her No.  He just tells one of his agents to contact me and then they're mad at me for contacting the big guy.  I got my car insurance policy years ago with his dad and although the son is nice, he is definitely not his father.  I might have to look at other options if the insurance is too ridiculous. I don't k...
Read more

A Tale of Two Assistants

This week I heard from a co-worker from the office wishing me a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.  That was nice. I liked Kallie.  I had to do a double take when I saw the names on the email.  Irma, Frick and Frack, my old manager.  Gross and gross.  I knew where this was going. The emails flew in about how everyone misses each other and merry Christmas.  My manager sent a picture of a baby and I guess she became a grandma.  There were a lot of things I wanted to say but silence was my only option. Kallie had left our company after she got promoted and then came back. I was surprised.  I had one interaction when I helped out her group and she said hello.  We exchanged pleasantries but really haven't said much to each other since.  The Thinker used to be in Kallie's group and I said if there was one person that was good to work with, it was Kallie.  I mean it, too. Kallie and I went to two different places even though it was the sa...
Read more

Bad Mood Recipient

 I better not be the recipient of anyone's bad mood when I sign in tomorrow.  I might look forward to the dentist in the afternoon if I got to deal with that in the morning.  The diva put up her doctor's name and location of her appointment.  I felt like I violated HIPPA without even trying.  I'm not sharing my location.  Mind your business.  Someone said they were going to the dentist and she replied, I love clean teeth.  Well, I would hope we all like clean teeth.  What a weird person.  The thirst for attention is real.  No shock on the former cheerleader revelation. Today I had a bit of a better day with Honey Bear.  She slept on my bed for most of the afternoon.  I was shocked.  I fell asleep for awhile.  I woke up in the middle of the night and I couldn't go back to sleep. I took something and I hate that it makes me sleepy during the day.  I hate that I asked to have my milligrams reduced because I sai...
Read more