And so it's Friday

Glad the week is ending.  I will have company by the end of the day. I hope Honey Bear does well with Kringle and Daisy.  Especially Kringle. I hope she doesn't have a set back.  She seems to be getting more comfortable each day.  Her and Kringle are the same age so hoping they might play together instead of her hiding under mine or my mom's bed.

I was going through some old pictures of Precious.  I watched a video of her kneading and purring next to me.  I sound like a sap don't I?  Well this one is still hitting me hard.  You know, people don't get someone's journey like mine.  It seems like there's a lot of "Not for me" when it comes to getting something.  It just seems like a lot of things don't happen.  It was my hope growing up that I'd have my own family.  Then I thought maybe I'd find a good partner even if kids weren't possible.  Then I found what I thought was my family really wasn't when it came to work.  I had two precious people in my life.  Now she's gone and I didn't think I'd have the grief that I'm experiencing, but I am.

So yeah, last night was good to have Honey Bear in my room.  My mom wanted to vacuum and not scare her.  She feel asleep on the body pillow while I watched a debate between Abdul El Sayed and the idiot running against him.  Then I watched Jon Ossoff's debate.  Honey Bear has become my shadow and it's really needed.  It's nice to have this little furry teddy bear of a cat follow me around.  I think you really think I'm important?  I'm not so sure I feel that way.  She's really a doll.  And a teddy bear.  She sleeps on Precious' old cat scratching stand in my room when I wake up in the morning.  No, she doesn't use her scratching post.  She saves her claws for the woodwork.  Yeah.  Typical cat.

When I went for my walk last night, I felt like crying when I saw my reflection.  I try.  I try every day when it comes to food and moving.  I had a lighter color shirt on and it made a difference.  Dark colors can mask what you want to hide.  I can at least tell myself that I try every day even if someone wants to moo at me as they drive by.  Sigh.  I don't ask to lose weight so I can fit into skinny jeans.  I just want to fit into anything and feel ok.

I should be starting my day soon.  Regina is gone for a few days so I don't know how the diva will survive.  I think the chatter I see online is getting to me too.  I wish there was a mute button or a way I could ignore it.  I know.  Ignore it.  I need a job aid to help me with that.

I hope the good humans have a good day.  

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