Find me at Metro Market

Don't tell Lois I'll be in her old neighborhood this morning.  I figured since I wouldn't be far from there after my walk, I'd venture in and see their ice cream sandwich selections.  Mom is sending me on a mission since my nephew will be here next weekend to ply him with all the junk food he likes.  I'm ok with that and I think he will be too.

I don't know if I'll get any stamps today since my budget is low until Wednesday.  Sigh.  Didn't win the lottery on Thursday.  Would have been nice if I got enough for more stamps.  Oh well.  I'll be ok.  

I told my mom last night it was hard writing some of these letters because you're sharing your personal story and I'd think wow.  My life kind of sucks.  It doesn't.  It's struggling that sucks.  

For anyone that thinks I need to be around people in the daytime, you can go jump in the lake or get your head examined.  I was a little upset that I got a terse email from the one who makes my eye twitch last night. I was grateful that I wasn't in an office because it might have come across worse.  People have mentioned this individual as coming off as abrasive.

I have to say, if there's anyone who's prone to giving me a compliment, it'll be this person, believe it or not.  He actually seems amused by the stuff I say in meetings and I appreciate it if I make a mistake, he'll call and explain in a nice way which is a big credit in my eyes.  Maybe I wouldn't feel that way in person. I don't think he's horrible.  I get what others are saying.  I also have had worse.

I was telling my mom I've been called stupid many times and have had the F word thrown in front of it.  I had the bully corner me in my cubicle and ask me if I was trying to ruin his career for telling him to quit acting like a girl.  What an insult to women.  My mistake.  I had one person pull me in their office and breathe on me while they hissed about my mistake.  Same person that just accidentally grazed my breast in a meeting with his hand.  Pervert.  Then there was Lois.  It was her life that was more important than anyone else's.  I was just garbage when it came to her even though she'd compliment me on how calm I was.  Well, check the parking lot ma'am.  You probably would have seen a different picture if you saw me in my car sobbing.

I don't want rude people in my day to day life and if there are rude, I don't want have to see them when I get my water either.  I know that's an unavoidable expectation but I've had a lifetime of people berating and bullying me.  Calling me stupid and then having to hear from other people, well, you know they're having a bad day or they have issues at home.  Keep it at home and your bad day shouldn't become my bad day because you're an asshole. I used to have Trevor tell me it was ok if the Bully took his bad day out on me instead of his family.

No, neither situation is ok.  You shouldn't take your bad mood out on your family nor should you take it out on someone you work with.  I feel like I've been the people's punching bag and I done with it.  They say that nice people are weak. No, they're not.  They've had to put up with people bullying or being mean.  That's strength to deal with all of that crap.

I had to deal with Lorna making hateful comments after I came back from my medical leave and she actually seemed delighted I had cancer.  I couldn't say anything.  I couldn't utter one word.  Because of Betsy accusing me of being a bully, I had to be quiet when people would insult me.  I got into with Frick plenty of times but it wasn't the same thing. Lorna was best friends with the managers and I had to worry if I said the wrong thing, I'd be pulled in again and be accused of things I wasn't guilty of.

So if people think I'm too introverted or too quiet, there's a reason why.  I would love to have more people around me.  

Where do you find the nice people?  That's the problem.

I got to go for a walk and find some ice cream sandwiches.

Have a good day good humans.