Will she or won't she? A Tale of the Diva

Yesterday, we met up at our usual time.  The diva and her new bestie presented the project that they're working on and presented to the group.  It was nice.  I kind of suspected the bestie did the heavy lifting.  

There is a part where it was mentioned that they would be recruiting others to help on the project or get their ideas.  I thought welp.  Leaves me out.  The diva will make sure I stay out of it unless she's forced into it.  I really hope that it doesn't get forced.   Thanks for thinking of me, but have you met the diva?  She won't like it and will make sure I don't get to say a word either. 

It really sucks that I get treated like this.  I help someone and they walk over me.  I get treated like I'm weak in public situations by her and it pisses me off but I have to watch my words because the diva is an actress and the tears might flow.  I'll look like the worse person in the world.  I've been to this play.  I don't like looking like the villain because I'm not.

Oh, I was definitely guilty of throwing out the sarcasm at people when they got me mad.  It's not ok that I did that.  Was it deserved?  Yeah.  Not in that setting though.  I'm just lowering myself to people's levels when I do that.

If it was out of the workplace?  Yeah.  You go low, I'll drag you to hell if you want to push me.  I've watched 20 years of Real Housewives.  I learned from the best on snarky comments. 

I know. I know.  Not cool to be like that.  Someone like Frick?  Yeah.  She would definitely deserved to get dragged and I have dragged her a few times when I got mad.  She was playing games with me because she got assigned to my old attorney and she wanted the new attorney that wound up with me.  When she snapped at me about how she's stuck with my old attorney, I said Ok.  Let's go to the manager's office and we can have a conversation about how you feel.  Want to switch?  Let's go and talk about it.

I don't like people playing games with the microaggressions and I think when it builds up, I just lose it.  I can take it but for only so long.  I know when to behave.  I also know I have a limit as well.

When the diva caught the lurker making snarky comments about her, I was told by the diva, You better stick up for me and not make me look like a fool.  It happened the day after and it really didn't sit well with me.

I replied, I did. I sent an email to the manager about it.  It shut her up.  It pissed me off.  I think that was another sign that this was someone who was trouble.  She wound up becoming close with the lurker and alienating me. 

I'd like to have women friends.  I'd like to have someone I can call up and who'll show up if I need something.  I seem to have had a lifetime of backstabbers and flakes.  I know I have Corinne and I'm ok with that. I just feel like it's a defect with me that I don't have a gaggle of girlfriends.  

It's not easy with women dynamics.  

I hope the good humans have a good day.  

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