Ups and Downs and All Arounds

It wasn't a bad day.  No sightings of a lurker so that helps.  I spent my day kind of pondering my medical.

First up, I finally ordered a mouth guard.  I did some homework and found a company that seemed to be best and the payments work out for me.  I could pay it all up front but considering how things are at the moment, I thought it was best to do my K Mart lay away plan payments.  I used Klarna. If I have better weeks, I'll pay more.  I need it and I need it like yesterday.

I probably have had this mouth guard three times longer than I should have.  I can't afford to pay $600 or $700 at  the moment especially when I'm in credit card jail.  I looked at some companies online to see what was best over the last few months and this company fared better in their reviews.  

I was told yesterday I might have sleep apena.  I don't know and I can't afford to go see someone right now and get a cpap machine.  I think I've only woken up once feeling panicky and heart racing.  I thought it was a nightmare.  

I asked what do I do?  He said weight loss can help and then he started writing a referral and said that might not help.  I kind of felt like he was quick to do that.  When I said I didn't want to be on a machine and he said who said you would be on that?  Where did you hear that?  I said I've seen it on TV.  He did seem kind of mad when I said that.  I said everything costs so much and he said yeah, it does. 

My mom asked if he was embarrassed about commenting that I had prostate cancer and I said not really.  I kind of felt funny since he had a student with him but he seemed to laugh it off.  I think that bothered me but in a different way.  

When I mentioned the semi thing he pounced on writing a referral for talk therapy. I kind of hesitated and felt like I had to humor him.  

If I don't have to drive on the freeway I prefer not to.  I've actually had that thing for years.  I've driven home for years on the Marquette interchange until I moved.  I said I'm not a fan of the freeway but will I drive?  I can.  I thought more money that I don't have.  Oh my god.

Before I went to this person, I went to an ob-gyn who had to cancel on me a lot so I either went to a nurse practitioner at the clinic or rescheduled.  Before that doctor, I went to one who took care of everything.  Kind of thinking if I changed back to Bay View again, I won't have to go see ob-gyn I see in October, or in my case, just minus the ob.  It would be nice to cut back on doctors.  I would only have to go see one dr on the east side.  I like that idea.  Less complicated.  Besides, I get enough time off, I'm fine making the drive back to Bay View even if something comes up where I need to get in and they can take me in.

It's great not seeing an oncologist but I also think I need someone who will keep a closer eye on me and well yesterday wasn't a good feeling.  

For the life of me, I don't know why I got 3 things of nasal spray.  I will try to use them more to help with my sinuses.  When I got the total, my mom said out loud, your insurance sucks.  She seems to be doing better and no, she may not be wrong on that.

I think I found a new weight loss helper.  I don't want to be on a machine. I can't freaking afford it.  

What a mess that was yesterday.  Yeah.  I might be consolidating docs in the future.   

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