April has been a long year

This morning I got to take mom to drop off her lab stuff.  Unfortunately she doesn't seem to get the memo that the lab closes at noon and she should wake up. I told her to wake up a half hour ago and she said ok.  She's sleeping. I get it. I was supposed to get up at 6 and I went back to sleep until 7.  I'll wait a few more minutes before I try again.

I thought I could renew her license and change it to an ID.  We were supposed to go on Monday afternoon but she changed her mind about going. I just thought I could have done it online so I didn't push it. I was the one that said we could do it online. I guess if you're switching over to an ID then you can't.  I think they want your license.  My mom will gladly throw it back at them.  She didn't learn to drive until her early 30s and she's never been a fan.  Never did freeway driving.  When we moved here, she maybe drove once and then it seemed like I took over.  It wasn't like No, you can't drive.  It was like I'm kind of done and I went along with it.  She was going to drive me home when I had my colon cancer screenings but I was able to do so. I live 6 blocks from the clinic.  I felt fine after each one and wanted to get the hell out.  I don't what type of stuff people get pulled under for those screenings where they're out of it for awhile but I was good.  Don't want to do it again but unfortunately I got another 5 or 6 years where I will have to worry about a ride.  Hopefully I get a nice bus driver who can take me.

I think I'm more upset about her turning in her license than I am.  It's a reminder she's an older person now and I haven't been ok with it for a long time.  Don't tell my doctor or he'll find 8 referrals for me.  Sigh.

When I walked past a gas station I saw gas was back up to $4.  I guess I'll be getting more walking in this summer.  Made me wonder if I should cancel my October appointment if gas is still obnoxious like this. I think I can only afford my luxurious trip to Cudahy in late June.

I have really been thrown off this week.  A month ago, I thought I'd be changing dentists but I'll be staying put.  I didn't think I'd be changing doctors.  Whenever I have mentioned cost to other doctors, they were sympathetic maybe empathetic.  I got a Yeah, so what?  What's your problem?  Money.  Lack of it.  I just paid off $200 from last year for a bill that was over $1000.  It takes me time to pay off stuff.  

My mom is probably going to get a hospital bill that will go to me.  She doesn't have the money for it so I'll be making payments.  She comes first right now.  

I'm not ignoring my healthcare.  I'm reconsidering the people that will be handling it.  When I look at some of the things that have happened, I think maybe if I had someone different, some of the stuff, not all of it wouldn't have happened.

One of his referrals was maybe not the best choice.  I wound up with a surgery and the threats of more surgeries if something didn't clear up.  She seemed very sweet but got angry with me over an incorrect test.  There was some confusion with the lab work and she kind of blamed it on me.  I had lab work to be done with oncology too and I think that's where the confusion came with the lab people. I didn't even blame them.  When she went on maternity leave and I had a new issue come up, I was terrified about her saying I needed surgery.  I saw someone else with a great reputation and a better understanding of my situation.  She explained it to me what was happening and said surgery was unnecessary.  As far as the doctor who originally handled my situation? I think she left and I was ok with that.  Anyone else I had seen after that was a big improvement.  It's made me reconsider has my doctor been the best choice?  Maybe for allergies and anxiety.  I had asked him if he would lower the dosage I take on my anxiety meds, he said I was fine.  I said I am a little tired with a higher dosage, but he said I was fine.  So if I'm a little tired from my day maybe it's from someone not lowering the dosage of an anxiety med.

Sigh.  He's got me freaked about the sleep thing so it hasn't been great because I'm paranoid.  It's been a week.

I should have my impression kit this week for my mouth guard.  They recommend changing every 1 to 2 years.  We'll go with 2 to 3 years if this works out.  It's not an unreasonable price and I will not go as long as I've had but I need a break.

This paragraph may get deleted later and I hate saying this but this is the biggest source of my stress.  My sister and her husband will be staying with us.  Why?  I don't know.  We don't have the room.  Her sister in law just moved into a new condo and they stayed with them last time.  It was my mom's call not mine.  My sister was kind of touchy and got sharp with us at times.  My mom is a little hard of hearing and at one point was so rude about talking louder it made me cringe.  I have to ignore or she'll spout off at me what a horrible person I am.  We don't have the money for them and my mom insists on stocking up on snack foods and other things.  We found out after buying a bunch of bags of chips that she doesn't want them.  She's on a diet.  She's also spoiled and this month has been so damn rough on both of us.  My mom will probably be on another anti biotic if she ever gets herself out of bed so we can get the lab stuff done.  I got to take off some time for this driver's license thing.  Plus I got to pay $15 to park on the street for a few days while they're here and that's kind of a lot.  I'm worried I'm going to lose it if she starts with the spoiled attitude.

April.  It's been a long year.