Holiday Memories

No, this won't be a Hallmark post or a nightmare on Elm Street post either.  This week, when I went through Cathedral Square and saw the decorations I actually felt happy seeing the whole scene.  I don't hate the holidays by any means.  I despise what people turn it into.  The greed.  The selfishness.  The me me me stuff.  I don't really have a reason to be too happy with all the weirdness with snap affecting our groceries and well life in general on a financial realm.  I felt like a few days ago that no matter, we'd get through it.  I felt kind of joy seeing the decorations.

I always hated the gift exchange.  I worry about it and I have gone overboard when I didn't have the money for it.  If you think a gift exchange is ok with your co-workers, you are wrong.  We don't know each other's financial situations and it's none of our business.

The first year at the law firm I worked at we were told to get your person three small gifts and one of the three gifts that they put on their wish list.  I got like special candy from Target, maybe like a bath bomb and some other thing that was over the budget and got the person a gift card from the store that they liked.  I had asked for a Musicland gift card as one of my choices and I did get it that one year.  It was the little gifts that made me think I was being punked. I got a paddle board with a ball on a string.  What would that be?  It looked like a child's gift.  The second gift was such kids game that you shook up. I thought someone hates me.  The third thing was just a really ugly key chain.  When I found out who it was, I realized it wasn't a joke.  They just didn't know.

When I worked a part time job at Boston Store, my dipshit manager thought it would be a good idea if we had a party at Chi Chis and did a gift exchange.  I got my co-worker a nice decorative candle when I was shopping downtown at lunch one day.  What did I get?  I got a bottle of expired Midol and some parakeet earrings.  Mine was a joke that elicited great laughs from everyone.  It was actually from Mary Jane's friend Nicki who was a troll like Mary Jane. I was 10 years older than both of them or almost and they thought I was a crabby bitch.  Well I'm not a fan of anyone that takes an hour break and then tries to steal some of my sales from me.  You know, I hope Mary Jane still works at Metro Market now that I think about it and I hope I see her again and make her run.  I know it was years ago and I don't care but god, her and her friend were bitches.  

It got to the point at the office where I hated this time of year.  It was a competition about everyone getting the best gift or buying the best gift.  The first christmas lunch we had after I finished cancer treatment was hard to stomach.  I was ok but I was just really annoyed at listening to the bragging.  I sat there with my lunch quietly and listened.  Our managing attorney grabbed the chair next to me and hit me with the chair.  She had pulled her chair and had her back to me.  She was talking to her favorite attorney. I suspected she had a crush on him.  He was a jerk.  He was a quiet jerk which probably makes him jerkier because you don't suspect it.  She had to ask him about his kids and all the toys they were getting and she went on and on about her spreadsheet.  I got up and left.  I was disgusted by it.  

She came to find me later and wanted to know how I was doing. I thought you sat next to me and ignored me.  That's how I'm doing.  She was a weird woman.  She wanted to know how I was doing with the holidays coming up and I said I don't care about them.  She then proceeded to tell me I should come up with new traditions.  I really wanted to tell her to fuck off.  It feels good typing it but what a pain she was.  She was like this with everyone around the holidays. She just threw it in your face.

Every year, Irma and her mean girl friends had to take up a collection to buy gifts for the managers.  I'm so damn glad we don't have to do this anymore.  I gave the bare minimum and thought it was hysterical when Irma didn't do it the last year before Covid because she had money issues.  Welcome to our world, Irma.  They wanted the managers to go shopping at Nordstrom.  Sigh.  I just couldn't and really wouldn't with that group.

I would love to see the lights at Cathedral Square lit up at night.  I teased Corinne about coming to Milwaukee to see them with me.  That would be great but I know she can't and it's ok.  I hope she gets to enjoy the ones where she lives.

I really don't like to say Christmas a lot because I really am tired of this fake war on Christmas that I heard about with my old co-workers and with the conservatives.  Celebrate what you want to celebrate.  I'm not that person.  I'm good with anything and will respect anyone's holiday and how they observe.

It's kind of nice not to feel like a holiday hater this year.  It also helps when the monster downstairs lives elsewhere.  No word on him being in jail but here's hoping Santa got my wish list.