Reality Tuesday

My giddiness bubble burst last night.  Still tickled that the check thief and the monster have court dates next week.  Reality seemed to sink in other areas.

My mom had talked about getting some type of hide a bed couch in the event we have to go to a one bedroom apartment.  Yeah.  Rents are still high.  We have at least a year to stay here but we don't know what they will raise it to next year.  I always said when it doubt, I'll sleep on an air mattress and we can go to a one bedroom if we have to do that.  I would have done it in April.  Still sucks that it is a possibility.  

Seeing the White House get demolished actually made me cry.  I just thought this all shouldn't be happening.  Life wouldn't sunshine and lollipops if someone else was in but the anxiety that this person has created.  Last night we realized my mom's Snap benefits might get halted as well because of the government shutdown.

$133 might not seem like a lot to some people but it's a fortune to us.  It helps alleviate some of the stress I have for paying for groceries.  I know my mom is still going to the food pantry today.  This whole situation makes me feel like a failure.

I actually put down an appointment at the beauty school to get my nails done that I cancelled.  It actually gets covered by our lifestyle and fitness plan, believe it or not but I felt like an asshole for scheduling something nice.  Maybe I'll change my mind if things change, but I should get on the ball and start getting stuff out to sell on eBay and see if I can make some money.  

Yeah.  This is my life.  Some people go have fun.  I sell stuff to make my life easier.  

I don't mean to sound like a drippy drama queen.  I'm having a horrible anxiety moment about money.  

Next week I might feel better when I see what's happening in someone's court cases.

Yeah.  Getting a win like the monster being held accountable helps.  The check thief getting her day in court also helps.  My god, all the stress she caused us last year makes me wish for her to get life in prison.

It'll be ok.  Today is just heavy feelings kind of day.  Hopefully it doesn't add weight to the scale.

I hope the good humans have a good day.  

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