Happy Entitled Friday

Yeah, supposed to have off today.  Guess that didn't work out so well for me.  It's ok.  I have time off in a couple of week so eh, whatever.

I did receive a call about this situation.  Regina was also given time off but it was for something that happened suddenly.  A death in the family.  I got an apology about me not having today off.  Well I was sorry to hear that.  Kind of felt like a jerk for having the pissed off feelings that I do.  On the flip side, Regina does prompt those feelings but I am sorry about her loss and I have no problem with her or anyone needing the time that they need.

I did explain the same courtesy isn't always returned with some individuals. I expressed that I get the feeling that people have been mad or make a comment when I've had time off and been told to deal with it if a few others have had it.  I got an apology for that.  I explained that many months ago, I had family in town.  I don't get to see them often, maybe twice a year at the most and last time, I took a half day and worked most of the week that they were here.  I said it was way worse in the office but I wish people would refrain from comments because everyone deserves time off.  Quit making others feel bad when they do it because they don't know what's going on.

The truth is, I'll never forgive those who treated me so badly when I was at my lowest.  People say I forgive but I don't forget.  Well I'd like to say that's the same but it's not.  Maybe I'll find forgiveness but I felt like being away from those people was the best situation that could happen to me.  I feel kind of eh when I think of someone of the individuals.  I'm not mad but I don't ever want to see them again.  Maybe I forgive, I don't know.  I just don't want to see those people.  Makes me happier not to deal with it.  

I was going to do my great experiment on my birthday and sit in a Starbucks by myself wishing for a magical person to say hello to me.  Anyone, someone.  Truth is, I'll be doing the same thing on my birthday.  Shopkicking.  No new friend is going to magically show up on my birthday and want to hang out with me. I thought if I sent it out to the universe that maybe I'll have an encounter with someone.  I think I would wind up sitting in a Starbucks alone for an hour wiping tears away and feeling lonelier than ever on a birthday.

With the government shutdown, my mom loses Snap for now so I got to up my Shopkick game for money towards groceries.  I guess keeping busy to remind myself that I'm a financial failure is the best remedy for now.  I know I have Corinne's tin to open up on my birthday.  Maybe there's a cool Jasmine Crocket t-shirt that awaits me.  I'm sure it'll be something kind of eclectic and fun.  At least I got that to look forward to.

I wonder if the guys are going to put in new windows.  I'm really ok if they wait on that. It's not their fault but I'm so tired of having to move stuff, hide stuff or rearrange stuff.  I never recovered from almost getting kicked out of my home.  I don't know if we can stay here in a year.  I can at least have a chance to tidy up and sort through my crap.  If they want to do it in the spring, great.  I'm really ok if they just do the downstairs or wait on it.  

I hope the good humans have a good day. 

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