Shaking the Funk off of me

I fell into an obvious funk after my morning of listening to the health risks of loneliness.  Sigh.  Never thought I'd want to listen more about Fanta Fascist.  Not the book's fault.  It's my fault on my struggles to make meaningful connections with people who don't want to use me.  

I heard from Corinne.  She had been trying to reach Trevor but his mailbox was full.  She was going to send him a postcard to let him know she'll be coming to town in a few weeks.  I hope he's ok. I know he's diabetic and has had other health issues.  Even if I don't get to see him, I hope Corinne gets to see him.  

I got up earlier than I expected.  The joys of dealing with my neck after an accident.  Or two.  I took something - don't tell RFK Jr and sat up in bed while it kicked in.  Precious was doing her feed me cream cheese dance while I started to feel better.  Ever since I got hit from behind, I do feel the pangs of it when I sleep. I try to sleep upright to help and it does help.  Nothing was helping this morning.  I suppose the semi slap didn't help me either.  I don't feel invincible surviving a semi hitting me or surviving cancer.  I feel beat up.  

We got our weekend run to Walmart today.  I was suppose to get another prescription refilled but I haven't had any alerts on my phone.  I messed up when I picked up my one on Thursday and the woman couldn't say the name of the other prescription I take. I said I can't say the name either but at least I can say aceteminophen.  Then I realized why did you say that, dummy?  This might be someone who thinks the fascist in office is ok.  It just rolled out of my mouth and then I said I can't say the names for other prescriptions I've had in the past.  The woman looked a little surprised and I realized my error.  I don't know why I blurted that out. I should be allowed outside some days.  Damn it.  

I am going through a phase right now of wondering if there is something I can join or do to meet other like minded people. I have been there and done that and it's never really ended well.  I know. I can't give up. I can't think of anything.  I just wish there was a sign or a message someone would send me that it'll be ok.

If I could make one friend that I could talk to on a regular basis it would make a world of difference. I know I can talk to Corinne but she doesn't live near me.  I don't have family that lives near me and you know people comment on things on Facebook but they got their own lives.  I know. I look at them on Facebook and get depressed.  Sigh.  It's just not easy.

I'm going to try to have a good morning and with the exception of 1 day in this last week, I got 20,000 steps in each day. I moved a lot more.

I hope the good humans have a good day. 


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