Losing Steam

I felt like I was just dragging on my walk today but I hit my goal and well I am doing better in another area.  I didn't see the progress I had hoped for but I saw it last week and this week the momentum is continuing.  It's all good.  It seemed like such an effort to get it in.  I'm not ready for my daily life. I just wanted a nap today.  Maybe it's from being up too early, I guess.

My mom had us shopping more for our company.  All the food talk is wearing me down. I keep telling her that they'll probably get fast food for my nephew when he's here.  I hope someone eats all of this stuff.  I don't want it to be me.

I had a moment today where I looked at Jerry the drycleaner's website.  Yeah.  We're going with "he's a dry cleaner".  I do see his family and they look so sweet with him and then one with other people in his field.  I don't know why I did that. I made myself sad.  I made myself cry because I have a crush on him.  I saw someone that looked like him on my walk today so it prompted me to look him up.  I thought is it a good idea to continue going to his place of business?  I always feel a little depressed when I walk away. I stutter. I stammer.  I say dumb things but I tell myself this is a person that's really good at what they do.  I also tell myself this is a person you shouldn't see because of how you feel and their own relationship status and their field.  Dry cleaners have serious ethics you know. I didn't go for two years for those reason and I thought get over it.  So what if I have a little crush or a little like feelings?  This is just someone who represents the type of person that you'd like to meet someday.  This is someone that doesn't even really know you exist when I think about it.

If he wasn't my dry cleaner and if I saw him in a cafe and his relationship status changed and knew that I existed?  It would be nice.

Crushes suck because well, that person doesn't know you exist until you show them the bumps on your hand.  

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