The Last Hurrah

I was sort of surprised at how empty the street was when I parked yesterday before I went on my walk.  Then I remembered people are on vacation but it's the last week before school starts.  

I'm going to say something mean.  Oh, the last hurrah so all the phony jerks go on that last vacation to de-stress their lives.  Oh boo hoo.

Sorry that's a biased thing of me to say.  Not everyone who goes on vacation this week is a jerk. I just knew too many of them who would take this time off and whine about their lives being full of stress.  I'm actually not even talking about Lois this time, believe it or not.  

Door County seemed to be the popular place to go for people at this time of year.  It sounds like a place for assholes.  I know someone who lives there now and well, no I don't think she's that.  Out of touch maybe?  No, not that bad.  There was always bragging about going up there to relax and decompress.  There was such an emphasis on letting everyone know about it.  I'm going to decompress while you're gone because I won't have to listen to this stupid crap.

When I stopped traveling on my time off, I just resigned myself to a staycation which isn't all that bad.  Vacations can be stressful getting yourself ready but there's no place like home when you come back.  I think that's probably when I would decompress.  I never could afford a full week so I would usually come back Wednesday or Thursday and have a few days home before I went back to the office.

I started taking my time off in late September and have for probably fifteen years or more?  I feel like I'm ready to crash by August every year and I'm definitely crashing emotionally this year.  Once my week started, it was nice to go to a store and it's not crowded.  It would be nice to just be out and not have to deal with people as much.  Maybe that was the appeal?  Initially I would maybe book a facial or get my nails done when I had the time off.  Now my luxury is sleeping in until 6.  It would be nice to do the other stuff, but it's fine.  I don't have to deal with the daily stress and that's a luxury.  When I do return to that world, I always seem to get at least one comment about being missed after spending some time with people who aren't so friendly or cooperative.  

I'm feeling grouchy too because I really feel dragged down by medical bills this year. I got another notification last night about a new bill.  It's 91.  I am so very scared about this medical test results.  If I have to have a CT scan every year, it doesn't have to be next week. It can be a year from now, but it's like damn.  Can I get a break from medical bills?  Please?  I am feeling a little weepy about it this morning and trying to get my mind off of it.  I'm not doing so hot.

It doesn't seem fair that I keep staying broke to keep myself alive.   

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Way Past My Bedtime

 I crashed before Reverend Raphael Warnock's speech.  The power of DVR saved me. I watched it this morning right up to the point where I had to sign in.  It was fantastic.   Hillary was great.  My mom was crying.  It meant a lot to her to have Hillary win that election and she was crushed. I was crushed.  She always fan girls over Hillary.  It was hard for me to decide in 2008 do I go with Barack or Hillary?  She gave a phenomenal speech. I had to watch Joe this morning.  No, I didn't cry like I usually did.  I got a little teary eyed when his daughter finished her speech and introduced him.  That nice man made sure his little boys had a dad that came home every night after they lost their mom and baby sister.  He took his oath of office by their bedsides.  He got a second chance with Jill and having a daughter.  He's such a good human.  Yeah, he looks 81.  He lit that stage on fire with a torch....
Read more

The Dark Things

I sometimes wonder about this when I'm in a brooding mood about how I got treated at a low time in my life.  Or lowest. Would people have been relieved if I just died?   Really.  I have thought the answer was yes.  I'm not talking about my family. I am talking about those who made their discomfort known to me.   They could have had some fake ceremony and a moment of silence.  There wouldn't have been a funeral so they could have forgotten about that part.  They would have excelled at pretending to care about my life if I wasn't here. Then, I had to go do something stupid and survive.  How do we deal with that?  My mentor even mentioned to me, well, you know, none of us have dealt with someone being sick.  Oh, should I get a fucking manual for that?  Excuse the F bomb but that was warranted. When I got my schedule for radiation therapy, I had wanted to talk to my manager about it and find out if it was ok.  I had gotte...
Read more

So Here's the Weekend

 I was having a wishful thinking moment last night when I was writing my postcards.  I was wishing for my imaginary friend that has shades of Stephen Colbert mixed in to show up and go for a walk on this humid July night.  We would talk and maybe check out the food trucks that were at the Farmer's Market last night.  Maybe they would be ok.  Maybe they wouldn't.  We would be getting out of the house and just talking about how our week went for both of us. Maybe we would stop at Pick n' Save and get my mom something she asked for.  He would always know how to talk to my mom and he would be someone she's really comfortable around like Charlie.  We would maybe see Charlie mowing the lawn on his usual Friday night task and talk to him. He might have plans with his kids in the morning so we say our good night with a hug or maybe even something else.  No, I'm not going salacious here.  Get your mind out of the gutter.  Maybe we'd see each...
Read more