I think I need a night light

I woke up at 2 in the morning and I felt scared.  Do I know why?  Noooo.  It just seemed so dark in my room and I was afraid to get up.  Luckily, I feel asleep again until 4.  

It was Precious who got me to get out of bed and use the bathroom.  Feed her.  There's always a catch. I don't know why I have a case of the scaredy cats with the dark this morning.  I know years ago I had a horrible nightmare and felt crying when I woke up.  I laid in my bed and I could hear the door open and I saw the shadow of a cat on my wall.  Hello Precious.  Thanks for making me feel better you weirdo.

I did stay awake for a little bit, thinking about my work week and getting pissed off.  I thought well, I need this time to not feel that way so I don't come across as pissed off person when I do get talked to next week.  It sucks when people do something that's bad and they can go about their lives like no big deal while you sit in a sea of frustration and anxiety because of their bad behavior.

I'm a little worried about the blood work thing.  I mean, the final result will not be something horrible.  It'll just mean Hey, let's keep an eye on you for a little bit longer.  Anytime I feel a sense of wow, I can put this behind me I get a surprise!  Guess what you get?  A trip to Europe?  New shoes?  No!  A CT scan every year!  Yay!  Um, I'm good.  Can I have a Snickers bar instead?  I know.  Trying to find positive when you've been in this situation isn't the easiest.

Today I can go for a walk and walk the hill, hopefully.  Unless there's an event, I should be good there.  I promised my mom that I would take her to Goodwill on Highway 100.  We didn't see our friend yesterday at the one we normally go to but maybe we'll make a new friend.  She didn't want to go anywhere the last couple of years between the monster and her favorite thrift store closing.  I saw a rummage over on the east side that make me want to ask her if she wanted to hit the fancy neighborhoods and drive down the property values?  Might be fun to go to some in Whitefish Bay or in that area.  She seems to come home with a couple of shirts each week for less than $5 and if that lifts her spirits, I'm happy to do it.  It gets me out of the house as well too.  Why don't I shop there?  Not really interested in looking for any clothes considering my love of the scale at the moment.  I would like to fit in some of the clothes I do have.  

My debit card seems to be working ok.  I had trouble at the gas station but it finally worked. I had used hand sanitizer and I realized that was just stupid.  Why would I do that?  I know the dad in the My Big Fat Greek Wedding thought Windex solved everything.  I thought I probably made it worse but it seemed to be ok when I got a few things at Metro Market and Whole Foods.  Probably best I did get the replacement card.  I felt a panic when I got Precious her treats and couldn't seem to use it while people glared at me.  Impatient people give me anxiety.

Then again, a person saying a nice thing to me would give me anxiety.  In a good way though.  I think I have an overactive nervous system.  I wish that burned calories.

I hope the good humans have a good day.  

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