A Messed Up Algorithm

Ok, Instagram is freaking me out.  I noticed that Harold was on my list of people I might know. I hadn't looked and laughed at his Facebook page for some time now.  How did the algorithm know that I used to hate view his stuff?  I don't get it.  

Of course I clicked onto his page.  I'm a curious cat.  Mostly things that didn't make sense.  Like the music he played.  As a person that loved Motown growing up, I never got into the folk music that he had loved.  It didn't mean that we were incompatible.  It just means it's a relief I don't have to listen to that garbage anymore.  We were incompatible for many other reasons. 

There was one video his wife took with their cat.  I was going to say it looks like he's missing his teeth from the meth he probably smoked in his 20s.  I realized that would be a shitty thing to say even if he was horrible with me.  I think someone that looked down their nose at me for a lot of reasons really shouldn't have thrown stones in my direction.  We all have imperfections.  I will say he looks like an old geezer.  That's not as bad.  He would comment on weight, how my nose looked in certain angles on a picture and I kind of suspect he wouldn't be so understanding about what one looks like after a cancer diagnosis.  Interesting to see how he's aged and he has.  I can say that, but I'll leave the teeth part alone.  That is a cheap shot.

It appears I get to spend time with the lurker today.  What messed up algorithm made that happen?  Sigh.  It'll be fine.  We are shifting some responsibilities over and making some changes and I'll be taking over something that was her area.  I think they're going back to an area that well, I was kind of pushed out of and I'm ok with that. I think they'll be spending more time with the diva which should be an interesting experiment.

I had my conversation about Regina yesterday.  I had examples and I expressed my frustrations.  Do I think I sounded like a crazy person?  Probably.  Do I expect anything to happen?  I don't know.  I don't know if it will happen again.  I don't think I have it in me to take it even higher.  After I thought about it yesterday, I don't think I could do that.  I had it done to me and it was a really stupid reason.  I think someone will do it at some point.  I just don't think it's me.  I want people to behave right and not harass me.  I don't want people to think I'm a push over.  I'm not going to do something that I think would ruin their life.  I also do worry with one person that they would flip the script on me and make it seem like I was the problem as well.  I know all too well after dealing with Betsy.  I want peace.  Is that so hard to ask from people?  Isn't life hard enough?

I found out the name of the blood test that I took to see what are my chances of a cancer recurrence. I already forgot the name but I think it would take 3 to 4 weeks.  I want to know now but I don't know if I want to know.  It's scary to think about it even though if I rate at like 25%, they'll keep an eye open for me and do scans.

That's what I mean about when people start with me.  I have enough problems.  Please stop making my life harder.  Life is overwhelming for me most days.  

I called Ascension for a new payment plan and they readjusted it for the payment to be lower even with the new bill because it would be for 12 months.  It went down to $56.  Well I'll pay extra but that helps with a bad month and that seems to be every other month.  I was very happy to have that small victory.  Actually feels like a big victory. I should be able to pay it off in March.  Here's hoping there's not a new ultrasound to pay for or a CT scan.  

It never seems to end does it?  Can we just skip a year so I can catch a breath? Pretty please?

Oh well. Here's hoping the good humans have a good day.   

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