New Episode of Mean Girls

You would think I would be used to it.  Or expect it and I do.  Does it hurt me and make me cry when it happens?  Of course it does.

It's those little comments that someone flicks at you that gets to the heart of things.  

Today, we had our weekly conversation and I wasn't really thrilled with where the diva was taking the conversation.  I had asked for some assistance with a situation that took up 2/3rds of my day one day and the diva offered to look at it.  It wasn't to help me.  It was a public appearance situation that others watched and could notice.

I had tried to chime in on the situation and she flipped it on me about how she was handling since I was off.  I said I'm aware, I saw the emails and I got the comment, I didn't ask for your acknowledgement.  It wasn't said meanly.

It was dismissive and it hurt.  

She then deferred to the lurker and Regina for collaborating on something regarding this issue.  The lurker didn't think it was anything necessary.  

In another instance she made a reference to her training.  That hurts too because it was me.  

I regret showing empathy.  I regret showing kindness. I should have said sorry that's happening and let her ponder.

This is how I've been treated.  I have been the toy in the bully's play box.  I'm just really done with that shit.

My mom commented again, shame on her.  After all the patience you showed towards her.  You never got cross with her when she heard her getting crabby with me. I chalked it up to nerves.  

I'm tired of being the punching bag for women like that.  I found myself crying a little bit again this afternoon.  What a shock.

Mean girls always win.  

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