Ending it on a 3 day weekend

Yesterday, I thought why am I blogging?  Nobody cares what I write.  It's just me venting.  It just seems stupid.  I thought I should delete this whole thing.

I realize that there's a lot of days I feel a lot better.  It was just one of those days yesterday.  I guess putting my thoughts down and releasing them is a lot cheaper than therapy.  

I had to go through a little training on a new change yesterday. There's always changes, what's new, but I spent a little bit of my time on a call with someone from a different part of the country and talked about some of the things that I went through when I was at the office and I almost cried.  She thought it was terrible when I told her about one of the incidents.  I said I never want to be back in an office.  I don't think I can do it.  I don't want to do any group events with the old gang.  It wasn't good times.  It was forced times.

I don't know what a divorce feels like but it seemed like that's what happened.  I was just going in everyday trying to do my work and trying to pretend that I was ok with how people treated me and I wasn't ok.  I was treated terribly.  I felt like I had to suppress my emotions or I risked retaliation or another mark on my record.  It wasn't any way to live.  I can't say I'm living a great life, but it was a worse life being around people who were cruel to me day in and day out.  At least I don't have to know about it for the most part.  I suspect the lurker and the diva teamed up but as long as they don't accidentally put their chat in our group chat, I'm ok with that.  

It was just a lonelier existence being with those people day in and day out.  I sat across from the woman who made me break down and get sick from the stress she caused.  I just couldn't imagine spending another 15 years sitting across from the same vile woman who made me sick.  Made my life hell.  It's no way to live for anyone being around people who make you sick.  I miss a few people.  I don't miss the majority and a lot of them have moved on including Betsy to find someone new to torment. 

It appears that the sale went through. I saw the listing changed before I went to bed last night.  It was kind of late for me, almost 10:30 am.   I was worried that the landlord would have said or done something to make the two nice guys say forget it.  We're done.  I'm not sure when they'll move in but I hope it's soon.  I think it'll be ok.  I think it's what we were hoping for and talked about on the days that the monster made us so miserable and scared with his behavior.   

Last night, I could hear my mom crying in the living room. I was just in my room and I could hear the heaves and as the usual emotional one of the two, I knew what that meant.  She was having a bad day with her eyes and this new air fryer is garbage.  The instructions aren't real easy to read and she was having issues.  I sat and listened.  I would have went for a walk last night but I think she just needed another person to sit there and listen.  It's what we all need.  She was frustrated about the last couple of months and not knowing what was going on.  I totally got that.  We had really been evicted without getting an eviction and we were fortunate enough that these two nice guys wanted us to stay.  I wasn't sure what all the details meant when I saw that the duplex had officially been sold but I told her before I went to bed.  She seemed to think it was good.  I'll never own a home in my lifetime so this means nothing to me but she and my dad had owned a home before they divorced back in the day so she knew what this all meant.  She seemed to be doing better before I went to bed.

I love my mom.  I hate that she has trouble with her vision.  This morning, I found these wipes that I had for my iPhone and glasses. I knew she mentioned the magnifying glasses seemed foggy and messy.  I found each one and tried to clean them the best I could.  Maybe it might help.  Maybe not.  If it helps a little bit, I'm glad to buy more.

I hope this three day weekend is peaceful. I hope we both feel better that the landlord's energy is getting out of our lives.  He made us feel like garbage.  He said we were the best tenants.  No, we were the tenants you could always bully if you didn't want to do something.

This bill that they're talking about in the news makes us both sick.  She'll probably lose part of her Snap benefits.  I'm still crushed about Joe's cancer diagnosis and all anyone can talk about is how everyone covered up.

I hope the bullies have the day they deserve.

I hope the good humans have a good day.  Thank you for being good humans.