Asthmatic Wake Up

I feel like I have adult asthma.  That doesn't mean I have it.  I have allergies, sinus problems, GERD and when I wake up, I feel like I'm wheezing or my nose is making a strange noise.  

When I ran a relay race in junior high, I collapsed on the grass and the gym teacher told me to quit smoking with the other pot heads.  I never smoked in my life but I guess I sounded like one after running.  I hate gym teachers.   I was a nerd that lived for TV.  Jerk.  

Do I have the money or time to find out what's wrong?  Not really.  I know I should go to an ENT but I worry that it's going to be another exercise in money wasted.  I have some nasal spray. I am always congested.  I know having GERD is a reason I should go see a specialist as well but I sleep upright.  Or try to when I go to bed.  It sucks.  I just thought well maybe if I wasn't so fat I wouldn't wheeze.  I'd like to think that weight loss would be the answer, but I know my history of allergies.  

We are worried that Charlie and Jeremy are house flippers.  They'll fix it up, sell for a profit and move on.  We get our rent raised to $1500.  Does that sound terrible to worry like that?  We really don't know the full intentions but we see the work that Charlie has been doing and we wonder if maybe our future isn't so secure.  It's the skeptic in me that wonders.  You would think that I'd say Oh, now I can relax.  Pft.  That's a luxury.  It'll be a lot nicer dealing with them.  I think they're both very thoughtful young men and I don't have to worry about them standing on the landing near our door screaming the "c" word.  I think once they get settled we won't see much of them.  I guess that's why I'm inclined to think maybe they're not going to flip the house, but when I see a home floor installment truck sitting out here yesterday, I wonder.  My mom worried about smells in the house because they detected the dog pee downstairs.  First up, Precious uses a litter box.  Secondly, our place doesn't smell.  Third, I reminded her that the dogs probably peed a river downstairs because the monster was not mindful about anything.  Everything was to the extreme with him.  

Well we'll have the diva back today.  Lucky us.  I feel kind of lonely in my group.  I really like the Thinker but I don't think they have the time to take on what I do.  They asked about how do I manage and I responded, I don't.  I'm always behind and I feel like the lurker and their friend just point out what a loser I am because I'm always behind.  I don't miss being in an office.  I just wish someone had my back better and was more supportive.

I had thoughts about having someone last night when I went to bed.  My person would have maybe stopped by last night to see how my mom and I were doing.  He would have made small talk with Charlie if he saw him cleaning again and showed him the kindness that Charlie deserves.  He too would have joked about how tidy the lawn looked because he can be a little messy but he fits in with me.  We would watch TV and he would maybe ask my mom a few questions.  He would have an early day the next day so he would leave around 8:30.  He just wanted to sit by me. Rest his head on my shoulder because he's tired.  Take my hand when I vent out of reassurance that I'm not alone.  Then kiss me in the very clean hallway - thanks, Charlie for not making the hallway not look like something out of a horror movie.  Then his hug would be very nice.  It would be the kind of hug you can just melt into for a moment.

Then give you a reason to go over to his place Saturday morning and show my appreciation.  If you're thinking I'm going to that place, well, you may be right!  Mind your damn business people! This ain't that type of blog!

Wishful thinking on my part.  I know.  

I hope the good humans have a good day.