Picture Day

Didn't like it in school and I'm not looking forward to it this afternoon.  I'll be glad when it's over.

Last night, when I looked to see if the landlord and his wife was gone, he actually happened to be looking up at the same time as I looked out.  Great. I walked away immediately.  I had just walked into the room and turned around when I realized we just made eye contact.  I was not being a snoop.  Yes, I was technically.  Just wanted to know if they finally left.  They did.  Thank god.

It's weird to wake up and see everything that was in my room either packed up, hidden in a closet or under my bed.  I feel like I'm in a hotel and also in a nightmare.

I will go along with what he is doing.  I hate this.  My mom is on the fence about sticking around.  I told her I would understand. I have no choice but I think she might feel bad leaving me alone and maybe wants to see what's happening.  I don't look forward to his lectures.  I don't need to get lectured by someone young enough to be my son.

Precious just shook her head at me and got me wet.  Nice.  I hope that's a great selling point of any potential buyers.  Sigh.

My sister sent me pictures of Charlotte while she stayed over at their house.  So cute, sleeping with her little eye mask and with Kringle at her feet.  She's such a nice kid.  After hearing the ruckus downstairs, she's like 40 years old in comparison.  So smart and thoughtful.

Glad I can open the window this morning for Precious.  She's chilling out and watching the birds right now.

I dread looking at my emails. I dread my morning meeting.  I had to miss some of the time that I did for appointments and I have the time off coming.  I'm so tired of the lurker.  I don't want to see their emails on anything I'm working on.  I have enough stress in my life.  I am tired of that one adding to it.  According to the diva, they got the impression that the lurker was a little afraid of me.  Kind of hilarious but I get why.  Do I think it would stop the lurker from lurking?  NO. Some people can't help themselves.

I just remembered what I forgot to ask at my last appointment.  My ankle was itching.  I forgot to ask about the salve I get damn it.  I still have one bottle.  It's kind of a sporadic thing where I get spots that are just painfully itchy like on my legs or arms.  It's mostly a summer thing.  At least with me working at home my hands don't seem to be itching as badly.  I always walk out of appointments and realize later I forgot to ask about something.  I turn into a jittery twitchy freak at all my appointments.  Even the eye doctor and there's no scale involved!

I am hoping if I can gain some momentum in weight loss, it might help my anxiety with a recurrence.  I am well aware of weight and the illness I had.  I just couldn't seem to shake it off no matter how hard I tried.  No matter how much I cut certain foods out.  It was at some point where you say F it.  I'm having that bag of candy.  Or 10!  No, I wouldn't go that far.  It's just not easy.  I am determined to make it better.  So it took me a few months to lose 5 crummy pounds.  If that was the pattern, then I would be down 20 by year's end or close to it.  I'd be ok with that.  

I dread today.  I really do.  I feel so much in limbo right now.

I wish the good humans a good day.  

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