It's Never fun being treated like you're the trash

So yeah, I shaved my legs in the kitchen last night and I think I did a better job than I normally did.  This sucks.  I actually wiped the shaving cream off the razor off the napkin because I didn't want to do anything to mess with the kitchen sink.  It's a little bit of foam and I'm paranoid that I'll get blamed for something else.  Did I say this sucks already?  It does.

I feel so horrible about Precious and how she's getting blamed.  She's howling and doesn't understand why we blocked the bathroom off from her.  It looks like there's some type of black sludge or sewer water.  We tried to explain it to him and now he just condescends to us. I didn't know what to say other than to hang up.

I don't want to dislike him.  I actually was feeling ok about him and enjoying his company.  He does that condescending thing and he's blaming me because I'm the one that did it for some reason.  I knew early on when we moved in and had problems with the tub draining, it wasn't a good idea to have bath bombs or bubble bath.  I worried about stuff getting stuck and looking like an idiot after we had our previous landlord handle the situation and explain it's just an old tub.  Well now I'm getting blamed and at most, I maybe use shaving cream but that wouldn't be the reason.  I looked at the body wash I have been using because they mentioned grain and it has a little bit of a grainy feel.  That's not it.  I googled what could be the problem and it's probably some type of sediment.  He didn't like it when I googled the other day.  He's the only one that can tell us what's wrong and he's pointing at finger at me mainly and Precious.  He thinks I let her romp in the bathtub tracking kitty litter.  Maybe if he fixed the drip that would take care of the problem.  

I have been crying off and on the last few days.  You would think it would be medical.  It's just this feeling of being treated like a low life that's so hurtful.  We're the trash.  Um, how left the backyard full of dog shit?  Is that Precious' fault?  It probably is her fault.  Damn it, Precious, how dare you leave dog shit when you're a cat!  The audacity! 

Yesterday, I had gotten something from Kohls when he and his family were here and I had to sneak down and pray they didn't see it. I got a second pair of Adidas on sale and I got $10 off.  I'm so tired of having to hide something I buy.  The other day I got an Amazon package for my mom.  It was a big check register to help her see better when she balances a checkbook. I ordered one for myself just to help me period.

I had gotten a bottle of lotion from a place I used to go to.  I used Afterpay to pay for it and it's a nice almond vanilla scent.  It's too much and it's going back.  It's not like I'm going to get rich when I return it.  I just want to have as much money as possible if we can find something and move this summer.  We only got a $25 increase.  I'm worried that it'll be more next year and we have been blindsided before.  His wife's business is more of a priority than taking care of properties.

He asked me if he could pray for me when he found out that I had been treated for cancer a few years ago and I said of course. I appreciated the kind words.  I don't ask for any favors because I've had stumbling blocks over the years.  It would be really nice if people would take their words and turn them into actions of kindness.  The words never seem to make the actions with a lot of people which make what they say is just empty air.

I hope the good humans have a good day.  Apparently I'm just trash and I'm really feeling like it.