An ADHD type of day

It wouldn't shock me if I found out that I had ADHD.  I definitely think I'm on the spectrum.  It seemed like my day seemed frenzied and frantic and I could feel my heart racing from panic.  It's just been too much lately.

I got my federal income tax refund which was a shock. I figured maybe by next week but I got an alert and felt a little bit relieved.  Next week I'll get my bonus and that will make me feel more relieved.

This morning, I felt panicked about Precious.  I caught her lying on the floor in random places like she was passed out and tired.  The second time was by the litter box.  I saw what was in the litter box and thought I'd want to pass out after doing that, but still.  This didn't seem right.  I brought her over to the footstool near where I worked and brushed her.  She took a nap but she seemed kind of off to me.

When I went to Target at lunch, I got a bag of different treats for her while I did a few stock up items. My mom asked me how long the treats she had were sitting there and I said a couple of days?  I tossed them and put a dish near her apartment.  Her apartment?  It's where we keep our towels.  She gets the lower level so we had to move the towels.  I noticed her come out and gobble them out.  The pass out moments stopped.  That little bitch was pulling a "drama queen" moment.  I got played.  Oh well.  Problem solved.

Because the Easter stuff was out, I thought maybe I could find a nice Easter book for Charlotte and I get stopped by someone selling cell phones. I can't make snap decisions in 45 minutes and I couldn't get rid of this guy fast enough.  Lesson to me to go to a different aisle if I see anyone out in the aisle like that.

There was a guy outside Target who was asking people for money.  I just pretend not to hear people doing that and he yelled at me, you got money?  Not really.  I ignored him and heard him yelling the F word at me and I believe I got called bitch.  I was a little disappointed when I didn't see him when I left.  I think I fell a little in love when he did that.

I took my mom over to the food pantry when I got home and it seemed like I just couldn't get enough done.

Then tonight, I found out my mom's prescription got denied because it said she's not on Senior Care.  I paid her Senior Care.  It probably crossed.  The check cleared on January 24th.  Sigh. I am not cut out for this stress.  I have a phone call to make in the morning.

I feel like a toddler who ran out at recess and is still hyperventiliating.

It's not easy being me.  I'm a mess.  

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Dark Things

I sometimes wonder about this when I'm in a brooding mood about how I got treated at a low time in my life.  Or lowest. Would people have been relieved if I just died?   Really.  I have thought the answer was yes.  I'm not talking about my family. I am talking about those who made their discomfort known to me.   They could have had some fake ceremony and a moment of silence.  There wouldn't have been a funeral so they could have forgotten about that part.  They would have excelled at pretending to care about my life if I wasn't here. Then, I had to go do something stupid and survive.  How do we deal with that?  My mentor even mentioned to me, well, you know, none of us have dealt with someone being sick.  Oh, should I get a fucking manual for that?  Excuse the F bomb but that was warranted. When I got my schedule for radiation therapy, I had wanted to talk to my manager about it and find out if it was ok.  I had gotte...
Read more

Blue Evening

We took a drive to see a place in Bay View. I was kind of familiar with the address, but I wasn't sure. I found it.  It was not great. According to my Ring alerts, it's near an area with crime.  It was in our price range. I just can't seem to shake this funk I'm in.  
Read more

Know Who You Are

 I am struggling a bit with a new work assignment. I've bounced around to working with new groups since the pandemic and it's been alright, but it's been a little difficult with balancing when I just feel off with how much I"m doing.  I have my mojo somedays and somedays I don't know why I gout out of bed.  Today was that day. I got shamed by a mistake.  It wasn't that the person called me, they copied a few people to let me know I. AM. STUPID.  And no, I don't take it personal. It comes with the territory when it comes to the work that I do.  I like being behind the scenes and assisting but it seems to be that my kind can feel the wrath of when things go wrong.  Or sometimes all that we juggle is not enough.  We are the recipient of a bad day if someone has a fight with a spouse or a child and get told, it's better it happened to you than their family member.  Lucky me. Glad I'm not a family member. The worst came with someone who I reported...
Read more