Sleepless in Milwaukee

 I'm ok with it since it's Friday.  I got up around 4 and I don't think I went back to sleep until shortly before I had my alarm set at 5:00 am.  I can always take a nap when I sign off.  Grateful I don't have to get in a car and drive anywhere.  Then listen to conversations that just annoy me about someone looking at another person crossed eyed and how they're out to get them.  I will be ok today.

The lurker will be signing off early and they can stay off.  I'm sure I'll get asked about the email I sent at one point. I have no expectations about anything.  I'm at the point where if someone doesn't want me around, come out and say it.  Quit hiding behind the passive aggressive comments that I come across.  If you don't want to say it to my face, say it to someone so we can all make a change.

I am worried because of what happened with Betsy 10 years ago.  It was 10 years ago, why worry?  Well it felt something got damaged when she threw mud on my name.  Even though after we were split up, she kept doing things to others, it was like something wasn't the same for me after that.  Betsy still got sympathy because she was a mom who was struggling with her feelings and overwhelmed with taking care of kids.  I really want to have empathy for working mothers.  My mom was one.  She cleaned offices.  My sister was one. She has always had high stress jobs.  I don't remember either of them trying to take someone down and get them fired because they were overwhelmed being a mom.  

Sorry.  I get distracted.  I really don't like to roll my eyes at when someone says she's a mom.  My mentor had great sympathy for Betsy after I broke down in his office and asked him for a reference.  What was I supposed to do if I got let go?  

I laid in bed after I got up at 4:00 and I was ok if I couldn't go back to sleep. I felt distracted and kind of worried but I thought, just rest and keep the eyes closed even if my mind won't shut off.  Enjoy worrying with a pillow underneath my aching head and that I'm in a bed and have somewhat good central air keeping me comfort.

I liked seeing Kamala and Tim on TV last night.  Dana Bash annoys me for some reason but glad it wasn't Jake Tapper interviewing them.  It should have been Anderson Cooper.  More Tim Walz.  Less JD Vance please. 

I wish Corinne lived closer.  I was showing my mom her wedding pictures.  They got married at the courthouse in downtown Milwaukee.  The pictures were beautiful.  It was just a nice ceremony between two people who waited a lifetime to finally marry.  They got separated by life events and they found their way back to each other.  Corinne always seemed so tired when I worked with her but she looked so young in the wedding pictures.  I think some of the weddings that I see are a bunch of big show off parties.  Waste of money debating what type of stupid napkins you should have.  What a rip.  It was a sweet ceremony between Corinne and her husband with his son and wife and some of her cousins. I'm not sure, but they have some resemblance when I look close.  I saw love when I looked at the pictures.  I didn't see a Look at Me and My Big Expensive Wedding Dress pictures.  Corinne's wedding pictures are the pictures that make you believe in love. 

Wow.  I ended on a positive note.  Here's hoping the day goes that way.