Just a Bad Day

It was over something so small and insignificant.

I thought the lurker did it but turned out it was the one who made me nervous who reported me for a mistake.  I was feeling frustrated by someone not responding to my messages and then we have a plumbing problem again.  It seems to be ok now but the timing of a message popping up on my screen did me in while I was leaving a message for the person I couldn't get a hold of and kind of forgot what I was saying when I read the message.

Someone said there's so many things happening that mistakes will happen.  It just got to me today.  It was between the plumbing here, the monster down stairs, the passenger side of my door looking banged up, feeling trapped and stressed.  I couldn't take it.

I thought I got to show my face on screen and I thought I don't care if I have a puffy face or red eyes. I am so tired of others not turning their screen on when we were told to do it.  It's just stupid stuff that upset me more.

For a long time, like for 10 years, I would get messages when I made mistakes and it wasn't a reminder so much.  It was a "shame" email.  You take it with a grain of salt because everyone gets them but after awhile, it gets to you.  When I was dragged into a meeting a day after Christmas with Frick and Frack, I was berated in front of a group of people and humiliated for being behind on my work.  We had lost Corinne and when I mentioned, I was told that I was making excuses.  So I burst into tears when she did that and later she said, I was really mad at Frick and her excuses and you know it's only human to cry.

Today was nothing like that.  It was a building up of sorts that really got to me.  It was a reminder of what had happened in the past and I'm thankful it's the past.  It affected me.  People would tattle on each other and have blind carbon copies when someone would do something.  Reminds you of Survivor or Lord of the Flies.  

It's probably for the best that I'm off in the afternoon even if it's for a really bad reason.  I can sit down in the waiting room and read my book or play video games.  I know I'll be behind more, but it is what it is.  It's life and it's messy and chaotic.  

Hopefully my landlord can come over within the next day or so. I got to lift weights to push the handle down.  At least we got our fix for the moment.

I hope Joe Biden does have some good zingers. I need a good laugh.