It's Been a Week

 Well I'm doing ok healthwise other than needing to lose a lot of weight.  My sinus infection seems to be doing better.  My mom seems to be doing better with her sinus infection.  And with falling in the basement.

I wish I knew what to do about my living situation.  We went to look at a 4 family on the southwest side of Milwaukee, not too far from where we used to live.  The person never showed up and we were relieved.  The place looked trashy and claustrophobic and we were only in the hallway.  That was not great.

My friend is turning my neighbor in for the dog poop and I love her for it.  I may not love the reaction I get from the neighbor downstairs but I'm exhausted from this criminal.  He has stolen thousands!  Thousands!  And he sits outside on the porch like a hillbilly with his two dogs and never does a thing all day.  

When we came home from the ER Monday night, our neighbor turned off the yard light and our hall light.  He is obsessed about lights and has argued with my mom that our lights are on his electricity bill.  That's pretty rich considering my light bill went from $165 to $255 since he moved in.  Let's compare bills, criminal. Maybe he'll figure out why we put locks on everything including the fuse box.

I had a moment Monday night and posted my status that I was not ok.  Yeah. I had a teenage girl response to life and I didn't care.  If I got to look at vacation pictures, then some people can see how fantastic I'm doing.  No, I really didn't expect anything.  My friend reporting the neighbor was a nice surprise, but she's the exception.  She has been in my shoes before and it was a long time before things got better for her.  She gets it.  A few others got what was happening too.

And then there's the one who doesn't.  She saw my status and asked.  I got platitudes and empty words.  I don't need it.  I even said in my post, spare me the thoughts and prayers.  I NEED HELP.  I don't need advice.  I'm not asking for it.  I need to know where I can find an affordable place and what moving company won't rip me off.  And if I can't find an affordable place, how do I deal with this situation?  Sigh.  I think of the two friends I have that were from my college days.  It's like hey guys, remember all the times I bought beer?  And brought potato salad for one of your parties that you all liked with the beer?  Sigh again. 

It's the rare person who takes action.  Flowery words are just words.  

A certain ass clown I used to know I called Harold would preach to me and to others, he's a good person but flawed. 

Here's my thing when people have to say they're a good person, what are you trying to prove?  

I don't know if I'm a good person. I feel like a horrible person because I wanted to tell my well meaning friend who's clueless to shove her positive thoughts.  I'd like to think that I get up and try to do the right thing and some days, I hope I get it right.  I know who I am as a person and if you think I'm a good person, that's nice.  If you think I suck, well, I'm sure there's a club you can join.  I think Betsy may run that club to be honest.

Talk is cheap.  Show me.  Show up.  Send a sign that it'll be ok.