So yesterday was the 4th?

I did feel it was July 4th when the fireworks started outside and I had to console a scared cat.  Poor Precious. Not a fan of this holiday with a nervous fur baby. I had to cuddle her a couple of times because she looked panicked when she would hear the booms.  I hate the fireworks.  I liked watching them on TV.  I don't like them scaring poor Precious or any other pet.  

It didn't feel like it was a holiday.  Felt like a quieter Saturday. I had gone to Pet Supplies in Glendale to stock up on food and I noticed a couple talking to someone about dog food.  I think the woman caught my attention because of her stomach.  I thought is she pregnant?  No.  She was wearing awkward clothing.  Kind of inappropriate.

I get it.  It's humid.  I'm not winning any wars on weight. I long for the day where I can wear a pair of shorts that don't involve a drawstring.  This woman was maybe a little overweight and I thought you can find a better pair of shorts.  That wasn't the issue.  It was the top.  It was some type of string tank top that didn't involve wearing a bra.  Her nipples stuck out big time.  White seems to emphasize it more.  The ex shoe salesperson in me wanted to go take her to a store and find an appropriate outfit that would emphasize the best she has and find a sassy sandal to go with it.

No, I'm no fashionista.  For me?  I would have at least found a shirt to wear over it that maybe hung over the mid section to take some attention off.  I also would have worn a bra for crying out loud.  For awhile it seemed like the popular thing was to wear those spaghetti string tanks with a shelf bra and have a sheer shirt over it.  I always wore something under the tank.  Sometimes I did switch it out with a tank top.  I was happy to get rid of a lot of those shirts when covid hit. I like the shirts but I wasn't a fan of that trend.  It was just so stupid and kind of inappropriate.  The woman wasn't in bad shape.  It's not like she was wearing a cat t shirt and stretchy capri pants like me.  There's so many ways a woman can dress sexy without exposing herself like that.  

Anyway, we just did our weekend grocery shopping at Wal Mart.  I was headed to the check out, pushing the cart and I realized that my mom wasn't behind me.  She was back by the produce so I turned around and waited by an aisle.  I saw some grumpy geezer push another cart with his cart.  I think it was his wife's cart.  Seems nice, doesn't he?  He stood near the aisle where I was parked and motioned for me to go through. I shook my head and pulled my cart back.  I said no, I'm just waiting for someone and let him through.  He acted annoyed by me. I was annoyed by him.

This little rant doesn't apply to all men.  There's some decent ones that have manners that don't seem to be in my orbit very often.   Please don't take this as a I'm a man hater.  No. I wish I had someone in my life consistently that didn't act like that. 

I'm so sick of pissed off men like that or being subjected to their anger.  I dealt with that in workplace because the men were mad that their lives didn't turn out the way they wanted.  Neither did mine!  I still come in with a better attitude!  I hate the annoyed attitude of some that act like I'm doing you a favor. I didn't ask for one so move along, please.

I can't remember the name I gave the attorney who bullied me.  He seemed to target me the most.  He said once nobody cares what you think.  I knew that and he made it obvious.  He had me cornered in my cubicle one night as I was leaving and he was telling me that I was trying to ruin his career.  I made a joke when I walked by and saw him talking to his assistant.  I wasn't loud.  I could feel his breath on me as I was packing up and I thought why was he behind me?  I apologized and started getting upset.  I started crying and Barry had walked in the door as I was leaving. The bully said Now don't cry.  Too late. I did it on the way home. He wanted the managing attorney job and he had been targeting me with comments every time I said something. I just broke at that moment.

When I came in the next day, he wanted to know if things were good.  He felt bad. I said No, things weren't good and you should feel bad. I went about on my business and just tried to push it down and forget it happened.

When he was leaving I had to assist him for a few days and he made a comment about how he could make my life a living hell and that was it. I stopped talking.  I shut down. I wouldn't say a word to him and he knew he broke me.  Corinne worked for him.  He stabbed Corinne in the back and gave her money as a going away gift.  Between the way he talked to me and what he did to Corinne showed what a rotten person he was.  I barely said anything to him and I got calls from people, including Cassie and Barry as to why I didn't show up as his going away party. I said I had my own party at home.  

I used to get called into Marvin's office before covid and he would have to show me my mistakes and I could feel his breath on my face letting me know that I shouldn't let this happen again.  When I would get back to my desk, I'd have an email waiting for me from my manager letting me know about the mistake.  I was so glad when I got reassigned from him.

It hasn't happened in the workplace.  I had the Great Fava and the monster bullying us. I remember my own uncle nagging at me and criticizing me about how I took care of the lawn when we lived on the south side.  They had brought my mom for a few days when she lived with my grandma.  We did not have a lawn really.  It was a small area that I did mow and took care of.  I had just changed jobs and hadn't had a chance because I no longer came home for lunch and it was raining off and on. I thought shut the hell up when he said he couldn't find the house because the grass was so long.  I did a better job than the monster.  It was like why do you feel the need to start in on me?  You're not my dad and I don't have to listen to your garbage.

I don't know if married women get this, but I feel like being single, I get subjected to men acting like they're giving me a thrill. No, you're showing me that being single is ok. I got talked to horribly by the few boyfriends that I had and I didn't deserve it.  My central nervous system can't handle another full time bully in my life.

When I do come across someone nice, I wonder what space ship brought them to this planet.

To the bullies who have harassed me? They can go sit on a fire cracker.  

Ok.  Rant over.  Got to go get my steps in this morning.