Flipping the Script

I felt like Debbie Downer last night when I went to bed.  There's actually some really good things happening.

I think this young couple will make this a more livable place.  Charlie talked about the insulation and how once they fix it, it might change our heating and electrical bill.  That would be wonderful.

After 9 plus years of the previous landlord, we'll call him The Great Fava, if he did something, we were going to pay for it.  I guess that's where my mind started with the worrying.

I asked my niece what authors Charlotte likes and she mentioned Mo Willems.  I wanted some ideas for her birthday in early August.  I stopped at Boswell Books and found Mo's collection of books and bought one.  It was only $10 and I'll be back to buy a couple more this summer. I looked at the book and it just made me smile.  I'm so happy so loves books and I love supporting a small business like Boswell. I get $5 off my next book so I am more than glad to buy little Miss Charlotte any and all books I can afford.  My niece and nephew loved books.  I love books.  We're book nerds.

I was feeling sad that I wouldn't get to see my niece and Charlotte this summer.  I feel like I missed so much when everyone moved to Florida 20 years ago.  I feel like there's not enough time somedays so  yeah, a positive that I had to turn into a depressed moment.  They'll have a great time in Ohio and I hope that my niece will post some pictures on social media.

Well most of the money I had from taxes and bonuses have now kind of gone its merry way.  Seems like this happens every year.  I just felt kind of bad about that.

Here's a positive.  I am in credit counseling.  My next payment will posted in about a week.  My credit score has gone up about 85 points with one credit agency for being part of it the last 8 months, I think?  I've paid off 15% of my debt.  I have a long ways to go and I acknowledge that.  Less than 4 years.  I felt bad that I couldn't make any extra payments right now.  The important thing is that I can make the monthly payment.

This leads me to my next point. My savings account looks a lot better than it did back in December and I may have to dip to cover in between my payment and my paycheck but I can put it back once I get paid.  It seemed like I had to keep borrowing every month until I made that phone call and the first few months was a little challenging.  It'll get better and it might get paid off sooner, depending on how the money flows.

I did return a pair of shoes yesterday.  It was a pair of Cariumas. I honestly knew it would sit in my closet.  They're nice shoes but it's maybe not my color.  I used ShopPay to pay in installments and I thought maybe there'll be something in the fall that I really love.  Right now I'd like the $36 that I paid for it back in my bank account.  

I am returning a pair of Adidas this morning to Kohl's.  The shoes look too stupid on me.  I found out that our new health and wellness program will cover the cost of athletic shoes.  I could stand to use another pair after last year, I got a hole in one shoe and the other wound up stepping in cat, well, you know the story.  It'll be nice to have that benefit and I'll go in the store and try them on because I'm not a fan of returns.  I'm given a really generous amount so it'll be ok to find something that might be a little more if it's going to last and feel good.  

I am sad for my mom with her eye health.  I hate that someone who loves to read has to deal with this and maybe I will.  I hate that we've had to deal with the health we've had.  I spent my days surrounded by people who bragged about their wealth and it didn't bother me that I didn't have their money.  It bothered me that I didn't have their good health.  It definitely reminded me I didn't have their wealth.  I was hit by someone's Go Fund Me who had money.  It was for their in-laws who passed.  I can at least take pride in that I didn't try to freeload off of anyone with a Poor Me Gimme Money thing.  There are people who definitely need it.  Then there are those who can go fly a kite.  It's just trying somedays not to think about it and feel sad.

I think of all the people that has cancer, why Joe Biden?  I am having a hard time wrapping that news around my head and I'll never watch CNN again and Jake Tapper can go F himself for that book.  I'm so tired of the focus on Joe getting old.  Well look at what we got now.  Are we all happy?  I'm not.

I know I have Corinne as a good friend. I know she has a life with a husband and lives four hours away.  It's the Can I find a friend in the neighborhood kind of day I was having yesterday.  Feeling upset about those who left who treated me poorly.  It wasn't deserved.  

Life isn't about rainbows, unicorns and farting cats.  Well I have two of those images on my corkboard courtesy of Charlotte.  I am hoping it's a more positive era for us in our living situation because we have enough challenges.  I think this nice couple will be more than ok.  They are definitely way smarter than the Great Fava and his sidekick the monster.

The Great Fava never did an inspection when he bought this place.  He said he trusted our previous landlord.  Well this was his investment and he should have had an inspection like these young guys did.  I got asked by Charlie about the roof and if something was done in 2015.  I said I don't think anything has been done.  I knew I was in the office so I wouldn't have had people banging on the roof while I worked.  I suspect The Great Fava embellished a lot and I think these kids see through it.  Good for them.  

I will go about my day.  Maybe today is the day for a Starbucks.  

I hope the good humans have a good day.  And find other good humans.  That is my struggle.  I can find them four aways but apparently not within a 20 mile radius.  

I think there will good humans downstairs and will probably want to hide from the two crazy old ladies that make them think of Grey Gardens.  I don't blame them.  Still good humans.