Another 3 Day Week

I had a moment of panic this morning. I was worried I didn't see my transaction from Panera Bread deducted from my checking account. I paid with Paypal which would take me to my checking account.  I thought did I hit one of the credit cards I had on accident?  I didn't.  Thank god.  I'd be making some phone calls and apologies today for that if I did.  Note to self - delete any credit card I have with Paypal so I don't have the heart failure again.  

It'll be weird not have the Thinker around.  I'll be alone with my thoughts again.  Oh well.  I didn't always agree with the Thinker and how she handled things but it was nice having someone who has on the same wave length as me.  She was the one that told me how the diva bragged up the lurker and Regina to corporate higher ups.  I wasn't shocked but I admitted she had some issues with treating me funny.  There's other people who are nice but I got to keep some things to myself.

I really hope they get a new candidate for Maine.  I had my reservations with Platner.  I didn't know as much as others but what I do know now?  Really?  We thought this was a good idea?  I kind of like the Maine governor but I knew she was in her late 70s not that it hasn't stopped others from keeping office or running again.  See Chuck Grassley.

I looked at my sister's in-law's go fund me.  They have had some money raised.  It's so sad.  The picture of her brother in-law kind of broke my heart.  This is a last ditch effort.  I think of him after his first divorce.  He was starting to do well and have fun.  Then he met this woman who has done nothing but drag him down.  He may love her but I think his life is lonely.  She has go on and on about being a widow.  Right in front of him.

I think he probably felt like this is the love that he deserved and he probably had really good moments with her, but she has treated him terribly.  I think I'd rather be surrounded by strangers in my final days who showed me some kindness than what he has had to deal with.  People can even be more lonelier with someone than being alone.

I thought of what life would have been like if I did pack up and move to San Diego.  I probably would have been abandoned.  I probably would have come back to Milwaukee.  

I kind of know I'll be on my own the day my mom isn't here and I hope it's not for a long time.  I am going to try to talk to a financial advisor the next time I get my 401K statement and look at when I can retire.  I would love 62 but I know it might be 65.  I don't want it to be past 65.  No way in hell. I want to be happy and enjoy my life even if I am alone.  I would like to find a better place in the next couple of years that's easier on both of us.  Maybe a nice upper duplex that doesn't have so many stairs.  You can't ask for nicer landlords than Charlie and Jeremy.  I don't know if this place is a good fit for us.  Right now, it's the only fit.

I want better.  Not just for me but my mom.  I really want to be able to find something that's easier and so much nicer for her.

We deserve something nice.

I hope the good humans have a good day.  

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