The Other Woman - Alison

 I've had my share of women interfering in my love life.  Don't get me wrong.  They did me a favor but it's also disappointing when other women have been involved. 

I could do a series on each one, but today's episode of Other Women belongs to Alison, Harold's ex and "friend".  I am doing an eye roll as I say this as well.  Yeah, he was probably doing the dirty deed with her.

My first inkling of her appearance came on my first visit.  I spent most of the night sitting up and talking to Harold and having this magical bonding appearance.  We slept for 2 hours.  I heard him get up and I could hear him in the bathroom talking to someone. I wasn't suspicious but I wondered.  I got up and didn't eavesdrop.  He told me it was his sister.  She was worried about his parents. I brushed it off.  I did raise an eyebrow when I saw him step away when we had breakfast that morning.  He had to go to work and he said it was his job calling him.  

The second trip made me wonder but still wasn't sure.  He had new Converse shoes and commented that a friend bought them for him.  I thought what friend?  He talked about a married friend who didn't have time for him.  Seemed funny to me at the time but I thought well, maybe he had another friend.  He mentioned going to see movies with a "friend" when he told me that he was all alone and didn't have anyone to talk to most of the time.

It was the third trip that I found out about Alison.  She was frantically trying to call him.  He was trying to get rid of her and he lied and told me it was his land lady.  He admitted he had been in the hospital from being drunk. I think he was in jail but that's a different story.  

It was when I met his land lady that things didn't add up. I felt like she was going to rude and defensive with me and she was actually really nice.  When she said to him, you need to cut Alison.  I'm tired of her calling.  I asked.  Yeah, we know that post.  Lots of tears, blah, blah.  I thought he cut her off but he never made that clear with me.  I was always living in the land of vagueness with him.

Fast forward to the first time we reunited online.  I thought he had his act together until he told me that he was taking care of a friend who had cancer and admitted it was Alison.  I thought here we go again. I did say a few things that I thought you weren't involved with her anymore.  He couldn't turn his back on her but she drove him mad.  Shortly after he dropped out of sight again.  He pointed to her for the reason he drank.  

Fast forward to 2012 when we found each other again on another social media app, the name escapes me.  I followed him to see if he would reach out and talk.  He followed back.  He never reached out to talk initially. I noticed a woman that kept appearing on the app.  It was Alison.  It threw me.  He would say things if you weren't for you, I don't know where I'd be.  It wasn't love letters but gratitude and friendship.  I thought what am I missing?

Alison reached out to me and would comment on my posts.  She seemed nice.  We wound up friending each other on Facebook and she would send me black cat memes.  I was curious about her.  Although Harold wasn't declaring his undying love for her, I wanted to know who this mystery woman was.

She had asked if she could reach out to me and call me about a problem she had.  It was with her landlord and she thought I could answer some legal questions. I couldn't.  I knew someone who might be able to answer them.  

We talked for about 2 hours and about a lot of things.  At one point she said, How come I never knew about you?  Harold never said one word about you at all.

That hurt.  I knew she knew about me, otherwise why would she call him so desperately when she knew he was picking someone up?  I learned a lot more about Harold than I ever did talking to Alison.  She was engaged to his best friend and they broke up.  Her and Harold were involved but she found him too irritating and yet she still loved him.

She loved him.  Great.  She filled in the blanks about his life that were a puzzle to me, like his DUIs and going to jail.  She suspected he was drinking again and had a new girlfriend.  It was another ex, that's another story about someone who looks like Granny Clampett.  

When I got off the phone with her, I was in shock about everything and feeling hurt.  I thought she loved him and I knew she wasn't going to give him up.

To top it off, she started calling during the day when I wasn't home.  My mom would tell me she would let the phone ring about 12 times when she would call.  

How did I handle it?  I blocked her on Facebook and any app we were friends with.  

That's right. I handled it like a 12 year old girl.  Deep down, I wanted him to be my boyfriend again.  She could go away.

I know, delusional much?

It was a lot for me to witness online.  Oh, H, you're so witty.  I did get a few passive aggressive digs about my lack of intelligence so I guess I showed her with that block, didn't I?  I know.  How 5th grade of me.  

I had Harold reach out to me and tell me that Alison needs a friend. I said why don't you marry her?  You two belong together.  You're dumping her off on me so you can go have a relationship with someone else.  Quit using me.  Believe it or not, I had a tiny back bone in that moment.  

I was really tired of being the second choice all the time.  I wanted the other woman to go away. I wasn't sure how to make Harold's current girlfriend to go away but I thought I want Alison gone and out of our lives.  

Alison was the one that got him the medical treatment he needed when he was beyond drunk and needed medical attention.  She was the one that would show up with bail money to get him out of jail.  She was the rock that he needed but she also wanted to control him and everything he did. I kind of got that with me.  She wanted me to come visit and spend time with them.  I couldn't afford to do that.  Maybe they could both leave me at the airport.

Yeah, I know I'm sad.  I thought he would show up for me like he did with Alison when I got diagnosed with cancer.  Yeah that didn't happen and that's ok.  He probably would have asked Alison to go to Milwaukee and she could degrade me for being a stupid legal assistant where she was an educated person who worked at NAMI and was an intellectual.  If you have to say you're an intellectual you might be an assh---- ok, you get the point.

It was wrong that I did that to Alison.  I should have said it was too much and I don't think I should be talking to you because I had feelings for Harold at the time.  I didn't want to tell her that though.  I handled it badly and so immaturely.  

If for some strange reason, we would have wound up together, we would have always had Alison in our lives, interfering every step of the way.  I looked to see if he was still friends with her on Facebook and he was.  I'm surprised he was allowed to marry another woman without her consent.  I still see the comments Oh H, I appreciate your intellect.

I thought I was said for hanging on so long.  Alison hung on way longer.  I got a feeling that he still goes into another room or answers text messages when his wife isn't around.

I wanted to be the chosen one in a relationship. I was having a poor chose me moment.  That was bad. Painful lesson. I acknowledge that.  

I think Alison is still waiting to be chosen.  I pity his wife because she's always going to have her around.