Grace for Thee but not for me

Well, my mood went to bleh when it came to the lurker.  I kind of suspect it was the lurker that tended to some medical issues.  I'm sorry for that and I do hope she's ok despite all the stress and anxiety she's caused me and others.  When it comes to this person?  I just feel like I got to step back and I feel bad.  My trust got broken so that's where I'm at.

When the lurker wasn't feeling well, others expressed their sympathy and that hit me the wrong way.  Nah, it's not what about me?  It was flashback time.  Grace for thee, but go to hell for me.  Do I think that this group would be more sympathetic if something happened?  Maybe.

There was one person who was ugly about the time I had off.  It was Frack who told me about this Sally who grumbled about my time off and when is this going to end?  

Well Sally only stayed with us for 8 months.  She wasn't very much of a good worker in my opinion.  She was more about status and she had a relative that worked there.  We suspected that was the appeal.  Somehow Sally got this big time luncheon from her two attorneys and we were all invited.

I didn't realize they expected us to pay for our own.  I actually paid for more and I had no money on me. I had just come back from leave and as it was, I had dropped my damn debit card in a mailbox when I mailed something and was waiting on a replacement.  Frick had to spot me the money.  I ordered $8 and was asked for $16.  I paid Frick back the next day, but damn that sucked.

To top it off, Sally was given a generous gift card from Barnes and Noble, courtesy of Lorna.  She wanted others to chip in and I ignored her. I thought I already paid for someone else's lunch. 

Frick wound up moving over to our group once Sally left and she was angry about it.  She made me feel guilty because she covered for me when I was off so they thought she'd be good to come over.  Out of my own guilt, I made a point of helping her clean up the mess Sally left behind.  

I didn't expect the world to cater to me when I hit my lowest, but I can't believe how many times I kept getting repeatedly kicked and kicked and made to feel like I was the burden.

I needed a little kindness, patience and grace.  I didn't realize I entered a new hell of being mistreated.  

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