Doing a Slow Burn

I am getting a little mad at my group.  I'll take them over the one I had previously but still.  I'm tired of the childish comments, lack of help and microagressions.  That's just the diva!

I think it was me being off yesterday afternoon that set me off when the diva commented about it.  It's a half day.  Not a week.  I am tired of hearing the word lucky.  No, I'm not lucky.  Far from it.

The next couple of weeks won't be great for me so maybe that's setting me off.  I am worried about my test next week. I don't want to have to come back for ultrasounds or biopsies.  It's like please give me a year off and I know I have cysts because I can feel it.  Sigh.

That's not the sad part.  I couldn't remember if I had a dentist appointment this Friday or next and when I called, I found out it's next Friday.  Ok.  No problem.  Then I asked if my dentist will be back and she said no.  That still upsets me.

He was on medical leave when I went last time and his partner just met with me for a few minutes after my cleaning.  It was all good and I asked if my dentist was ok.  He said not to worry.  I didn't want to pry but this wasn't the first time he went on leave for help.

I don't know if he'll be back.  I guess I'll find out more when I go in for my cleaning next week.  My mom wanted me to cancel because his partner did rip my mom off years ago and she hates him.  I get it.  He does give me a bad vibe even though I only saw him for a few minutes after a cleaning.  I said it's just a cleaning and if he's the one I see after and he says you all need this dental work?  Bye bye.  I will go find someone else. I have an idea of where I will go next and I'm just not ready to pull the plug.  I guess next Friday will be the tipping point.  If he'll be back, then I stay.  If it's uncertain, then I move on.  I know he's in his middle 70s so I wouldn't be mad if he decided to retire if his health was in question.  

I have been going to this dentist for about 21 years.  The first time he went out was shortly before I got diagnosed with cancer.  I had a horrible hygeniest who made me cry after I went through treatment and he came into talk to me.  He said I would be ok.  He's tried to help me financially when I've had to have work done.  He has tried to make things better because he knew how hard things were for me.

So yeah, I am feeling a little emotional because I didn't have the support from people that I should have had.  I didn't have the kindness that this dentist showed me so it does make me sad that he's sick and may not come back.  

Everyone acted like I put them out for getting sick.  Everyone acted like I did this on purpose and made their lives harder.  Why should I ever want to see any of those people that treated me like this?  I don't.  I forgive them but I never want to remember them ever again.

So yeah. I would be happy to hear that my dentist will be coming back later this year.  If not, I'd like to hear that he's retiring and enjoying his life and his grand kids.  He's a good human.

Good humans are hard to find.  

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