A Little Bit of Brightness

Despite my horror of discovering someone's Tik Tok, I had a better day.

I got a call from someone thanking me for something I did on Friday. I didn't think it was anything. I helped someone and it turned out that the event got cancelled.  I stayed on the phone and tried to figure things out before I signed off.  

Someone did recognize my effort and thanked me.  She talked to me about making things easier and making sure things like this didn't happen.  She also recognized I have a job where I don't get a lot of appreciation and she recognized my hard work. I thought was someone listening to me yell to the universe?  She is a kinder person I deal with and I thanked her.  She told me I was a sweet and kind person.  Usually those words get translated by others as doormat or idiot.

Kind of nice to get seen.  It wasn't about Oh, hey let's give you a prize.  It's hey, here's some kind words and a little respect.  It was a lot of respect and it went a long way today.  

There was no Regina today.  I hope the diva covered for her again.  Have the help you deserve.  

It's almost funny what the diva has been doing. I hope she does it on their trip next week.  

I came across Tik Tok in 2020 when I saw a video on Instagram that someone posted. I thought what was this about and I had it on my phone for awhile.  Then the political videos came and I dumped it.  It became stressful and it's a waste of time.  I am way too curious looking at things like that and then I wind up getting stressed or annoyed.  

This explains a lot.  The diva had some apprehension about me calling and was anxious at times to get off our calls.  I was ok with it because I had things to do but now!  Now I wonder?  Was she dancing around lip syncing to Santana in her tank top?  Or lying on her bed looking sexy while she lip synced a Heart song?  I mean sometimes I grab Precious and just sit down on the couch for a break.  We're not twirling around on Instagram to La Isla Bonita by Madonna.  I thought you're making mistakes because you're focused on that and not what you should be getting paid for.  I think I shouldn't be listening to podcasts or have TV on at times and I don't anymore for the most part.  I also know I'm not dancing with a face filter looking 30 years younger.  I didn't look that good 30 years younger anyway so that would seem self defeating for me.  Oh, oh, oh, this is kind of funny and sad.  

My mom finally got her Kohl's card after 6 months of going around and around with Capital One.  She wanted to buy me something and she saw I had something saved in the shopping cart from Amazon.  Well who doesn't have that?  It was a really good price and I was going to hit save for later.  She insisted and I got it today and well, its another reminder of why clothes shopping is painful.  It didn't fit bad but just a reminder where I'm at and that makes me sad.  The print wasn't as nice as the other shirt I got a month ago and that one is more flattering.  This was not worth it.  

I didn't get any phone calls telling me my medical future and I don't know if that makes me feel relieved or worried.  Does it ever get easy?  I don't think it does.

Someone saw me today.  They understood me.  That is a nice feeling.

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