The Invisible Woman Chronicles

 It snowed a lot yesterday.  I will probably have to shovel in front of the garage where I park my car because my neighbor will not lift a finger for anything and he let me do all the shoveling last year.  It's in his lease that he has to shovel. It is not in my lease. He stopped shoveling shortly after he moved and when I tried to take recycling out behind the garage, I fell twice on my back.  I thought maybe he would shovel at some point in the day, but after the second time, I had kept my shovel in the trunk of my car in case I got stuck somewhere and shoveled.  My 80 something year old mother went out after she heard about my fall and tried to clean up the snow.  When our neighbor saw what she was doing, he said he would have done it that night.  He told her it was too cold.  When she said all the neighbors shoveled, he got angry and proceeded to talk about how I park in the garage.  He said that I leave so much space that he could lay do...

 Bad enough I looked up my dumb ass ex recently, I looked up a crush online.  Every so often, I will look at this person's picture and they make me smile, even though I'm no longer in their life. We were friends and this person got married and had kids.  We lost touch and we may run into each other every once in awhile.  Part of me wants to avoid this person because of my feelings and I feel kind of like an a hole because I do have a crush.  I hated women that flirted with my boyfriends.  I saw this person once in a grocery store and I purposely avoided them just because it didn't seem like a good idea. This time, seeing him with his family made me cry.  Hard.  It really hit me like it never had before.   I can look at my ex and think he's an idiot. I look at my crush and I wish I was the person that was in his life because he's a good person. I think he's with the person that he's meant to be with in his life.  His wife probably ta...

 I saw a really nice duplex in a good neighborhood.  I'm in no position to move.  I have no money to move.  I still took the number down.  Nobody would respond.  It's ok.  We were curious.  We figured it was probably well over $1500. On the weekends, I go walking by Lake Michigan.  I park near the hospital. I started with my secret walking back in 2019.  I'd go to another doctor appointment. Find out I needed more tests.  There's a Starbucks a couple of blocks back so I'd park one block over and cry.  And cry.  Then I'd get my order, have a drink and maybe feel better for a moment.  I started stopping in the CVS in the neighborhood and that's actually how I found my new eye doctor when mine retired.  It felt good to stretch my legs and walk down the block to get my drink.  I'd maybe walk around a couple of the blocks to gather my thoughts and pull myself together before I went home.  I didn't want to be...

 I don't like it when I find myself wandering on Facebook and feeling sad when I look up people who used to be in my lives living their best life. I have to remember it's Facebook and a picture doesn't tell the whole story.  I'll admit to feeling lonely and wishing I had a friend that lived nearby.  If I did?  I sure wouldn't want to post going for coffee because that just seems well stupid.  I saw my sister, brother in-law and nephew this year, well, two extra times for my sister and brother in-law.  I didn't feel the need to post it on social media.  I had fun. I lived in the moment. I don't want to have friendships so I can feel like I'll be cool enough to be on Facebook with them.  I want to actually feel like I'm enjoying life in the same way that people seem to act when I see these pictures. I signed up to volunteer for the ACLU.  I know I need to do more to get myself out there.  I did it on Tuesday. I'm still waiting.  Sigh....

 Now I'm waiting to hear from the finance department at the dealership to find out if I can finance my Toyota and have a monthly payment that won't make me cry.  I think I might be ok on waiting for that call. I got this car shortly before the world shut down, March 5th.  I had my car for 17 years and I kept telling myself when I get more bills paid off, I'll get a new car.  Yeah, that didn't happen but the people at the dealership understood.  People can be stupid with money.  And can get sick.  And go farther down the hole. I got really good review at work so that's a good sign that maybe money will improve come spring.  I do enjoy working at home more.  Maybe I don't see people everybody but I talk to a lot of people all over the country.  It's a good world for me. From time to time, I like to make myself feel bad and look up someone on Facebook that hurt me.  I know.  Glutton.  I secretly hope that maybe they're suffer...

 I'm trying to take action or be more proactive. I feel like the waiting game is creeping back in my life again. I was determined before the year ended to be more active on eBay and get more listings up.  I felt like maybe holiday flips from Target & Dollar Tree might help me.  I had sold a few packages of holiday pot holders and ornaments that I matched up as a set.  And with 70% off?  Maybe in a few months I can list these items and make a little profit. I had gotten a lot of kids items and I kind of thought maybe that was a wash. I did make one sale for some finger paint soap and crayons from Crayola.  I got the idea that maybe I could put some of this stuff for kids as a set and offer free shipping and handling. I started off with the packets of crayons I had, some sticker pads, coloring book, etc.  It sold for $20. I haven't gotten payment.  Maybe they'll pay in a few days, maybe they get paid on Friday, I don't know.  I also made a ...

 Well it's another goal in 2023.  I'd like to have a little more of it in my bank account. Would I like a million dollars in my bank account?  Of course.  Right now, not sweating so much these days would be nice when money is concerned. My neighbor using our appliances has thrown my budget into a tail spin.  It was manageable since I had just paid off the 2500 that I had for medical.  It kind of made me hesitate on other purchases or made me use Klarna or Afterpay which was really stupid when I think about it.  Just stupid. I wasn't excelling in this category and now I feel like I have a foot on my neck. I have a spare set of locks that I got from Amazon because I may have to put another lock on our power in the basement.  I'm not really sure. It seemed like the electricity was off for December with us not using air.  I strongly suspect that my neighbor is growing weed.  We found out from my cousin that when her dad (rest in hell, he was...

 It's a new year and I'm getting over an ugly sinus infection. Doesn't help when the neighbor downstairs is probably growing his own weed.  My mom growled at him to quit doing it in the house and be aware that his stuff makes us sick.  I don't care what people do but realize it makes people sick.  I had been dealing with vertigo before and after Christmas.  Our duplex is an older building.  There's only so much blocking of heat vents we can do and it's unfair that we have to do it to stay healthy. I'm still writing my postcards for democracy.  There's a woman that needs to get into Congress in Virginia and a race for our supreme court.  Complacency is not an option anymore. I finished watching The Good Fight.  I loved Christine Baranski when she was on Cybil Shepherd's show years ago and then The Good Wife.  I got CBS All Access just for her show.  And it's worth it if it was the only show I watched. I realize I'm not doing spoiler ...