The Dare to be Great Moment

 In the movie, The Sure Thing, Lloyd Dobler was looking for his dare to be great moment and that was asking out Diane Court.  My dare to be great moment was traveling to San Diego to meet the potential love of my life.

There is a difference between movie and real life of course.  I'm not here to go on about dumb Harold.  It's been established what a massive asshole he turned out to be.  It was the moment for me to do something different and do something not a lot of people would do at the time.  

I know I've mentioned this before, but before this whole meeting someone online happened, I was at a crossroads about my life.  I was 33 years old and 34 was peeking around the corner.  It felt like I had a window of time and people were writing me off as it was.  Oh, yeah, must feel good to be free of kids.  It's probably nice for you to be alone and without a husband.  Maybe you can join a craft club to meet other women like you.  Yeah.  People are fun, aren't they?  

No, I don't regret traveling to meet this person that I thought was going to be my person.  The initial meeting was great and there was a sense of euphoria for those few days.  I remember walking with him through Balboa Park and feeling like I finally belonged.  Everyone was wrong about me.  I had my dare to be great moment and I was going to show everybody.

I know. I didn't show anyone anything.  I understand that I put pressure on myself because of my age and what other people expected of me.  It was ok that I traveled and took a chance.  I wasted a lot of years pining over someone that was lying to me all along.  That cord should have been cut way longer and it should have been me that did it.  I don't regret traveling like I did. I deserved to feel loved and be treated special.  I still do but with someone else.  Especially someone who's a nicer person.  

I know sometimes we get wrapped up about taking chances on love.  Like I can't date this person.  They're my co-worker.  No, they're friends with so and so.  That doesn't seem practical.  I just can't.

When I got off the airplane that first time, I had a moment.  I thought I can't do this.  I should go hide in a bathroom and make him think I wasn't on the plane.  Funny thing about the ditching since he did it to me a few years later.  I thought I want to do this.  I want to see what happens.

It's ok to step out of our comfort zones and try something different.  I just don't know if I have the bandwidth to be the adventurous Lloyd Dobler.  I've had too much rejection.

I kind of wish my Lloyd Dobler would find me.  

Sometimes taking a chance doesn't involve being left in a San Diego airport because someone didn't know what day of the week it was.  

I dared to be great.  I challenge anyone else not to be afraid of it.  It might turn out to be a really good thing. 

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